the last of 2007

This year has not been spectacular, not that bad, not that good either. Which in my case is an achievement. This year was not my year...I mean is was the year of everyone close to me. The year started with my sisters' weddings, one week apart lol. Then it was my mother and stepfather's retirement, Hell month more like it. They were able to buy a house and are having a blast. Is like they are living for the first time in years. My brother that lives with my mother made a 180 degree turn and even I am impress with his behavior. My brother in the states got a job offer in Florida which is going to be great for him and his family. V gave birth to a beautiful expansion of her jejeje. She will make those two proud. So even though nothing extraordinary happen to me it did happen to those close to me. I am happy for their happiness. And I am still learning to take a back sit and watch from a distance. This year I have to learn to take care of my life more closely. I have to really be selfish with me and dedicate more time to me, myself and I.
To those out there I hope you can keep those resolutions until May at least and that all your short time goals can come true this year.

White Night Fantasy (Once)
Nightwish

Enchantress came to me and said:
Meet me at the lake tonight

I hunmed this song to the white
Through the shroud of snow I saw
Paradise
Peace
No more lies

Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings

I dream of wolves with them I run
For me she lengthened the night
I am home
I am in peace

Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings

5 days to go

I had managed to stay out of rock bottom this xmas. Still not in a Xmas spirit but at least not under the black weather I had been in the past years. Maybe is the realization that my life is not as bad as I perceive it to be, maybe is having a real concern for someone else, maybe is the fact that I really had not celebrate the season at all...what ever the reason I am just having a lot of free days and no boss at work. Now I only have New years' eve to worry about.
Last weekend I closed a lot of chapters in my life. Mainly because I finally went thru all the boxes I took from my mother's house. I decided to keep only what I really though matters. I threw away books, letters, cards, very old pieces of paper, cassettes, cartridges, elementary school crap, old awards...damn I had a bunch of junk store for the past 30 years or so. Well not any more. The trash should be picking everything up today.
Xmas night was a marathon of family reunions. First my mother's house for eating and some rush quality time then my father's house for a gathering. The highlight of the night was that I was able to played until 4am once I got home.
On other news, my sister from another mother has her baby girl in the hospital. I think I did my first real prayer in a while last week. That baby is really lucky and she knows it. Her parents love her so much that they even became singers for her lol To you both I tip my hat for I had witness your devotion and love.No one can dare say you are not good parents in fact you are the best example of what a parent should be. From far away but you 3 are in my prayers...yes I am praying now

Rainy weekend

If you want to impress someone without flowers this is the way to do it. Fresh fruits in a colorfully display. Nice place, with sweets, with many options,with sweets, fruits cover in chocolate...my new place for gifts. It was funny to ask for an arrangement without any special occasion. The seller was going nuts...
do you want a card with that?
No
the card is free
ok, but no
Do you want to write something?
No
Can I put a name to it?
No
The card will print anyway
...ok, so write just for you
that's it?
yesss
do you want your name on it?
dude, I am delivering the thing
oh, ok

It was funny, apparently ppl need an occasion to ask for a gift or something.

Saturday was a black hole of "why even bother" at some point around 9 pm decided to rent a movie. I though King Kong was too long until I saw Spider-man 3...WTF!! They could have done all that in a third of the time. I am so glad I did not paid to watch that crap on a theater. Sunday was another geek day, playing with features in the PC. Which means next week i have to give some loving to the house+car+dogs. Still talking to my State brother every week, which is very refreshing. My mother is officially in her new home. And so far I have not been hit too hard by the Xmas spirit.

The Vista days

I bought a new PC, though on going to Mac for a while but in the last moment went PC. After a lot of researching found one that wouldn't blow my budget and that could make me happy for the time been. 3g of RAM, NVDIA video card, lots of HD, media ready, 19" display. All in all a very nice PC with an adequate price. The only problem was that it came with Vista, I have not had the opportunity to play with it so I took that as a challenge...well more of a puzzle. Lets remember that I DO KNOW computers and programming. First step move all my programs/files from the Laptop to the PC...easily done with an external drive of 500gb. Second step install/download into the new PC...here is where you start to feel stupid. I only have my account so is an administrator account and Vista still ask you for permissions to do some installing, ok not bad. Some installations are not completing, others after the installation are not working. I went thru so many FAQS and in too many the first comment was "Upgrade to XP and you won't have any issues" *sob* To finish some installations I had to turn off processors, for others I had to explicitly give permissions to the application, for another resolved a compatibility issue...After a two days my PC had everything install. My favorite online game did not want to work...back to the FAQ. Stupid, freaking Vista even though I am the administrator of my PC I have to open with "Run as Administrator" for some applications to function...WTF!!!! Oh well it is a learning process. My neighbor bough a new PC too and ask for help since he is from the Stone Age in regards to computers. I said sure, How long can it take? *sob*. First step move programs/files...his old PC is Win98...*faint*freak out* that means the external drive would not work because of driver's issues...3 jump drives later...Turn the new PC and started downloading upgrades...2 hours later...restart for new upgrades...HELLO!!!!! the a third time. Left everything for the next day. One critical update did not finish...at this time I knew the FAQ Home Page by heart. After a 4 pages long step by step explanation of the issue upgrades were complete. Moving to installations...Office 2007 would not start. It would said setup complete but it would not open...FUCK!! I mean FAQ!!! After searching FAQs and users forums I found out that Vista and Office(although from the same company) has some issues with printers file. So after some Office upgrades(No they do not come with the Windows updates) I finished that setup.

Things learn:
Vista is not user friendly
3gs are awesome
Need a desk
Need a comfy chair
I am a freaking tech

Goodbye to The Crazy One

Yesterday the first born of Natasha Silverbane pass away. In her first day on the new house her naive playfullness got the best of her. In the garden that she was supposed to share with her mother she found death. A wild spirit, never tame, never behaving, always cheerful, always the puppy. How was she to know of the perils that lurks on the wild. I still remember that late night when she came into the world. So tiny was she, so helpless...she was my first delivery. I clean her, put her next to her mother and just watch her for God knows how long. My mother took her as her own, in case I took Natasha away. But the two of them became inseparable, until now. Natasha still has the marks of her crying, that really got to me. I was not there to say goodbye, but I will miss you. The way you always use to find a way to pee on me, either first hand or with that damn flailing tail. I will miss the fighting for affection that you and your mother had everytime I got close. Rest in peace

Mecano-Laika

...y si hacemos caso a la leyenda
entonces tendremos que pensar
que en la tierra hay una perra menos
y en el cielo una estrella mas...

First week of December

Not so bad comparing to last year. Must be my resolution of not celebrating. I am even going to work during December. I am tire of expecting, waiting, hoping...I won't rain on anyone parade, or try to bring no one down, but I will try with all my might to keep afloat. So this year there will be no decorations at my house, no gathering of people, maybe a few mandatory phone calls and nothing more. December will be just another month with a cold weather.
I am loosing the battle to keep my sanity at work, but ppl apparently are not noticing or maybe they are to afraid to let me know. I am not controlling my temper, my tone of voice or my body language. Is getting to the point that I do not care what happen to me any more.
Family...the only highlight is that my brother that lives in the states is communicating more often. After X years we are finally creating a real bounding...who knew? I am actually looking forward for hos new job to start so I can visit him in Florida. Maybe I can get to know other nephews beside Yanqui and Zuly.
Today is catching up on emails and messages. Hope I do get them all :P

almost December

JUST A MEMO

Did not do anything extraordinary on Thanks giving weekend. A long boring weekend trying to make space for the junk that is left in my mother's previous house. Since she started moving I need to take my stuff to my house. The only low point was a weird mix up with the painting guy. I ended up hiring a guy that no one knows how he found out about the job. I only used him for the priming.
This week started on the wrong side of the road. Clashing with my boss again, I am getting so freaking tire of his black hole mentality. I feel like I am going to explode at any time. Plus adding the fact that is almost December and the traffic has not getting better as the past years. I am arriving annoyed at work and tire at home. At least I am trying to find extracurricular activities to do in my house so the boredom does not kill me little by little.
Not looking forward to the end of the week. Too many trash in my head and no one to talk to, does not a good combination make.

Finally

After many, many months of trying finally this weekend I was able to sat and played a few hours of good old D&D. Got out of Caguas with a full tank of gas and a healthy breakfast. Since I am such a sucker I was listening to Iron Maiden the whole way to Ponce. Where I had to made a stop to pick the monk and the necro. After some traffic jam and one detour I was able to get to the monk's house. They where more excited than me I think. We were talking the whole way to V's house. After not taking the correct route we ended up in a series of unfortunate curves that put the necro in a dizzy spell. Five minutes later the monk was under the same spell. Once I commanded the ghoul to drove back I got a hold of V and she gave me the directions to the closest inn and then to her house. Speaking of which I will never, ever going to eat there again...NEVER!!!!! the onset time on the poison is like 12 hours and almost killed me that night. When I got to V's house the nanny was there to received us. The three of them actually click in some mysterious level. After a few minutes or hours the family arrive with daddy announcing that the diva has a arrive, making a grand gesture with his free hand...I though he was referring of himself but he corrected me showing me my baby niece :) The mummy V came into the picture and as soon they were banish to the second floor...perverts :P
The evening pass to quick for my taste but I was able to re live for a moment why I do love this game so much. Is a sense of community that is hard to explain. Is a lifestyle that I wish I could absorb more often but hey that is life. Hopefully I can make it work for long enough. If the powers do not interferer to much.

After Halloween

Yesterday I came to work feeling the Great Pumpkin, so I decided to put some fun stuff to work. It made my day a lot of fun making ppl stare lol. After work I went to the gym were a celebration was being prepared. Music, customes, gifts. The only thing I put there was a theme t-shirt, next year they will see. After a fun, relaxing, sweety workout went to by goodies for the trick-or-treaters. As I was getting home kids were already in my street. My first client was a little princess with her mommy. I went overboard with the sweets because I used to hated those houses that only gave you one candy. I was a hit with the kids, 3 even repeat my house because I quote "you have the best candy and you give a lot"...I do not have a Xmas spirit but I do have something else :P The last kids pass around 8:30. On top of all that I watch the Peanuts Halloween special and found out that Iron Maiden is comming next year to the Choliseo. I love the 31st of October.

Stormy night

It has been raining since yesterday. The wind has been blowing all night. Gray and black clouds are everywhere. And I am loving every minute of it. The only problem is that I had to come to work...F**K. I do enjoy this weather and with a full moon tonight it looks like an omen to just enjoy the show. Finally I am focusing all my negativity in one insignificant point...my boss. Every grain of dark energy is compromise to his demise and suffering. Which I do hope last enough for my never fulfill satisfaction.
Yesterday had to drag my mother to the physician hopefully is only an irritation of the stomach instead of a pancreatitis. Today she have to get some test done.
Warning advise ahead. After 3 years of on and off, fighting, disappointment, cheating and lots of disrespect why do you still try to hang on. You had try for so long now is time to just let go. Do not try to hold on to someone that never was yours to begging with. I had to let you pass through Hell alone now I can help you get out. But only if you want to leave. If you decide to stay I promise to fight at your side. Just leave the trash behind you have others to take care off. Others that are really important. Stop acting like a child and take care of your children. Since you are alone now this is the perfect time to get closer to them. Learn from them. If your parents treated you like shit you DO NOT have to do the same to your kids. You can break the freaking cycle. You have a treasure worth reclaiming. Like Jarabe de Palo said..."y sino respondo grita" or leave a message on my cel :P So there is no misunderstanding this is for the Gentle Giant.

Black and Blue

Monday at the office. The boss is crazier than usual, trying to get into a power game with me...lol He has already lost that one. Trying to mess with me employees, a united front will never fall. Sending stupid emails, like I give a F*ck about them. Maybe if he beg for mercy...nah!!!!
Culinary weekend without my much anticipated FEAST!!! Went to a nice Restaurant in Old San Juan name Botin(treasure) on Thursday night. Great atmosphere, excellent service and the food amazing. With a charmed Sommelier I was able to go to the first floor where they still have the old bank safe and the wine cellar. A local actress Von Marie Mendez is a co-owner of the place and came to the table to chat a little.
Saturday was my homemade pizza with lots of everything and wine.
On Sunday at the last moment the adventurer in me was lullaby and went to a safe heaven to eat. After a rainy journey I arrive and was welcome by the warm ppl that work at La Casita in Guabate. Still no luck on the naranja flan :( but a weird guy came in selling cheese flans and that was dessert lol.
At least I know I can celebrate someone else Bday now I have to try to do the same with mine.

Sleepwalker
Nightwish

Close your eyes
Feel the ocean where passion lies
Silently the senses
Abandon all defences

A place between sleep and awake
End of innocence, unending masquerade
That's where I'll wait for you

Hold me near you
So close I sear you
Seeing, believing
Dreaming, deceiving

A place between sleep and awake
End of innocence, unending masquerade
That's where I'll wait for you

Sleepwalker seducing me
I dare to enter your ecstasy
Lay yourself now down to sleep
In my dreams you're mine to keep

Another year

Today I celebrate another year of your life. No matter how unimportant you want that day to be I can not let it pass. It is my privilege to be here for you. From the screaming cashier to the crazy cake guy, I hope your day was as memorable as I try it to be. Shitty weather, bad mood I won't let you frown tonight. Let me light guide you for a while. Do not ask me why just accepted. Happy Birthday.

Sick in the head

Have you ever witness a crash accident? I mean before it happens. You know what will be the outcome but you can not look away from it. You just have to watch it happens. Well I am in that point in my life. I am seeing bodies in motion and they are in a collision course. Bound to crash into each other and I can not look away. I am mesmerize by the whole spectacle waiting for the inevitable conclusion. Why does the Devil put those distractions so close?
Being the Puppet Master at work is becoming so easy that is not even funny. Dolls need to be manipulated in order to go from A to B. So I am really doing them a favor. I am giving them purpose. I am only giving them the right point of view. Which only I can really know.
A waste is a terrible thing to mind but hey someone has to.

Not manic but Monday

I have been negleting some ppl lately, who knew? I am feeling kind of tire once I get home, so the only thing I do there is watch TV and sleep. I am not deppress just tire. Even the doggies were missing me, and that can not be. This weekend I force my ass out of bed and shower all four dogs...well I play with water, they tag me, I rinse them they slobber me...it was all fun. Then I put the druid robe and attack some vines that were strangeling roses and Heliconias. while doing that I got some insight of how the plants might look their best. Which means I have a relocating project ahead. Even considering how to use the doggies poo to fertilize the garden...and not manually :s I also had a change to brainstorm some ideas for the party/shortstory/whatever. I need to buy new notebooks if I want to keep my breathing health.

monday again

Busy at work, same crap same old dog trying to get away with same old tricks...Not this time. I am planning a one man strike or something. Well not exactly but I will just do what I am supposed to do and nothing more. Lets see if they like it :) House is looking more as a house every day. Still do not know how much more $$$ can I put into it. I have to put it in black and white..so I won't get into the red.
Every moment I get more convince I should do the Psi thing and work on my own...need to get the $$$ straight first.
1st of October looking to put some Halloween thingies at home and at the office, maybe next year I can finally do the Haunted House theme I have always wanted. But this year still too much debry to do that.
Probably family visit this weekend to do some cleaning, hope is not a bad idea.
Mentally busy, physically tired...

A ranger's feast

Last night I went to Top Meat, suppose to be a good place to eat and that is an understatement. The place is between Guaynabo and Bayamon. The first impression is that it is a gourmet store with some tables in the back to sit. Wine racks are everywhere, sorted by country. I was not in my comfort zone for the first 10 minutes. After a few, apparently obvious, questions on my part I got the feeling of the place. First you can go and hand pick your wine and every bottle has the price on the bottom :) The wine collection is obscene and the price range very good. After picking a well know wine a sat and the complementary artisan's bread was brought to the table with a plate of olive oil and pepper...If they had put a pound of bread I would had ate the whole thing. For appetizer we ask for a chorizos parrilleros that came with some tostones. As another complementary treat they brought us pana chips with pico de gallo...was I gona had space for the real meal?? The place became really homey and the conversation helped a lot to increase the experience. For me I ask for BISON medium with arroz manposteado...now I know why they are going extinct. The meat was so tender, rich and not overpower with condiments. Then another bottle of wine to match the experience. This time I went with something new to learn its taste. I was able to taste Wild Boar and Ostrich on the table. For dessert raisin bread pudding with ice cream...and a birthday candle :s I gave everyone a little piece because it was a HUGE piece. I also took a bite of a dark, really dark chocolate brownie and something with a custard that I forgot the name. Great service, excellent atmosphere...and if you want something from the store even if is not on the menu the can prepared for you.
I got home around 11pm and to my freaking surprise the whole drive way was empanetada :o I guess is not when I want to celebrate is when the DM feels like it.

The post that almost was

Natural selection is the way the cycle of life continues to move forward. Species most evolve in order to cope with the changes in the environment. Those that do not or can not evolve are doom to perish and go extinct. So, is the order of things, and the way life will go on. Out of time to change or learn new tricks those obsolete will be left behind, forgotten. This is not an evil act is just nature taking is course.
And then there are those that evolve too soon and are force move on, with no lead of what to expect or any guidance to follow. Having to experience the rights and wrongs of life, so others can learn and not do the same mistakes...working to makes someone else life easier.
Living on extremes is not easy, is tiresome. You either fade away or die not knowing why. You are looking ahead or flying solo. You are alone or getting lonely.
Everything I hold dear is safely in the pack. I can only observe while the march continue. Never part of it just an observer.

Not unbreakable
Not made of stone
Not unreachable
Just a heart beat away

In the rage of my voice
In the sorrow of my eyes
In the useless fights
I made my cry for help

In the oceans
In the clouds
In the mountains
No one heard my howl

Forever away
Never again
Time to fade
Dreamers ends

That was supposed to be my post but I see things brighter today. Not into blaming or bashing. Yes I will drag me feet for a few more days, but I will levitate you'll see.

Bday 07

From now on I will make life easier for me and those around me. I will no longer observe my birthday, anniversaries, Xmas and new years. No longer will I expect anything from anyone on those days. Do not worry I will as always remembers yours but from now on I will not expect you to remember or make memorable mine. I am just tire of the disappointment even when ppl try their best. I am sorry but this is no elementary school so a Merit batch is not good enough for me. Life should be more passable once I get the message out there.

Burning at both ends

Last week I was in charge at the office, not that much of a challenge if ppl did not expected me to fix 6 month of BAD, VERY BAD management. I have the tools, knowledge and desire to do what must be done, but I won't do it for nothing. My short temper is been test every freacking day at work and so far I had been able to kept it check.
House...well is in progress hopefully i will be able to see it done by the end of the month. Mix feelings about what to do once/if the job is finish. Part of me want to get into doing all the little things that must be complete, another part just want to get as far away as possible. To have one visit a month or so is not what I had in mind when I bought the house. So I might need to reconsider moving closer to the ppl I know...on the other hand living in the Mountain has it benefits.
Trying to get motivate is not an easy task for me, this freaking mood is starting to bug me and I need to snap out of it. Lack of motivation or inspiration, routine, emotional void, whatever poetic metaphor I want to call it. Having more bad days than good nights...I prefer the night time, perverts! I am looking forward to a cataclysm and reshape my whole existence...BEWARE!!!
Hopefully putting a D&D party together will fuel some, much need it, life into my life.

Another waitting period

I have gone to Las Vegas and back...Although you can see the whole place in 2 or 3 days is worth to take the time to enjoy the architecture and surprises it has. From pirates ships to Rome and New York the place is just a mix of exagerations done with good taste. It was a bussiness trip but I had the chance to go to the Stripp at night, which was better after all. The temperature was over 105C even at night. It was like feeling the Sun in your face at midnight. The highlight of my trip was a dinner in The Cheesecake Factory(insert my droll here). It is a steak house with great beverage, variaty food and godlly deserts. I will visit one every chance I have. The other high point must be the 3 hours all you can play bonanza at gameworks. Video games for free, enough said.
Back to reallty my bitch gave birth to eight puppies and all of them die before I arrive to my house :( Do not know what happen it just did. I was more worry about the mother than of the fact. I guess I will definetly fix here this year. The bitch I call best friend :P gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Or a mini V more like it lol. She and her husband are going to be great parents. I had the chance of seeing them in action and they do complement each other.
Last monday was the most rescent chapter of the asswhole contractor. Well...another month long wait for the last chance at finnishing the job or all my money back. The judge was really harsh on the fellow, FINALLY. So if the job is not done to my entire SATISFACTION(how many things are wrong in that sentence lol) he must pay back all the money I gave him. The contractor went pale.So, sob, he has done some minor things but no biggie yet.
More random updates
Ghost reappering from the gamming cemetery
New satelites joining the solar system of Q
Proud of having 75GB on my iPod

A quick, very quick fast forward

Went to the Dominican Republic the 28th of July to spend a week with my father, brothers and stepmother. I thought the freaking pilot was drunk since the airplane was going side ways more times than I though were healthy. The Melia Tropical Caribe is a gorgeous place. From the reception to the beach there is not a single place to be disappointed...even the bathrooms are like a lobby with a fountain view and sitting areas(I did not ask why). I was able to meet ppl and enjoy the company of my family(yes I do have one). Even though I had to be my bitchy self I had a great time and maybe I will like to repeat the experience.
Having that out of PR experience I decided to give ppl a chance. I know I have a tendency to scare the locals but for a while I will take the chance and put myself out there...we'll see how that experiment goes
Tomorrow I will be living to Las Vegas on business trip. which means another week to be out of sync but I won't complaint much.
Overall I am having a good time, I think I am beginning to enjoy life instead of just living it...btw my garden is doing great! So I might have time to smell the roses, literally.
Two of my bitches are about to give birth one is my baby Kalisto and the other is my best friend. Hopefully they can wait 4 days so I can be here for that event...I have always being there for the deliveries of the puppies(real puppies) do not want to miss on that.

of lights and dogs

Since I bought my house I now there are some things going around which I have deal quite well...for an insane guy. First there were the presence of someone lurking in the room, who even dare to lay down in bed with me. Then there were the firefly like lights...which scare the hell out of me the first time. But lately the dogs are being restless at odd time in the morning, in which moments I feel movement in the outside(hopefully not a stoker). Last night the room light up completely with a wing shape light for about 2 minutes...WTF...or...OMG. Luckily I was not alone so it was not a dream. Ever since I started working on the gardens things are more welcoming...I though I was joking about the druid thingie. I used to be more a tune in a galaxy far away a long time ago...maybe something is coming back or I am coming back.

is it Monday?

No matter how organized I am there are two variables that completely mess up my equations: work and my mother. This weekend I let work cancel out my best friend. I am not proud of it but I think is my nature. I am not going to blame no one because I know ppl. I am just so fucking frustrated that I let her down. Beside being up all night and then receiving calls early in the morning I got so tired that I just needed it a bed and then some Potter.
With half a brain in function I became Dear Abby or something. There seems to be an epidemic of break outs so BEWARE!! D things can and will get better...Al just hang in there it can't rain forever...Busta just thanks...Moe you are an accident waiting to happen...J & A you are so sweet that you make me sick(in a good way) don't change and thanks for a great meal and company.
Clear the air in some personal issues that were over due. Hopefully I can try to enjoy some company or companionship.

Wildfire
Sonata Arctica

Oh, why are we so sad?
Are we feeling hurt by their evil eyes
and all those empty words?
We are thirsty for payback?
What would we like to do with the town?
Would we like to make it... dance? With the Animal?
Would we? WOULD WE?!
Tell us what we would like to do.
... burn it... burn it all...

Burn honey, burn, let the fire eat away
I never liked the look of this town
Burn it down now
I'll run, they all know what I've done
I fetch my gear and take my leave from this mountain

I never had a chance to prove I wasn't guilty,
I always seemed to get blamed for
Every little crime, I didn't even have a name for...

Still running, still defeated in my mind
I never even tried to defend my own pride
The father ain't always like the son
They claim we've purloined, I'm not the one...

The story always goes, when the anger within
Builds up for too long...
Takes us over...
And we all are forced to obey, hey...

It was a match made in Hell,
now the whole mountain burns
and every man gets what no man deserves

Our beloved kin never learned to fit in
Now I pay for my name, live my life in sin
How much less can I ask from you people?
This town stays in disarray
'til the rules are the same for us all, hey...

I've ran on this mountain, with no guilt of my own
The trees and the rocks, every cave, every hole
I dropped them a line, "beware, this mountain will
blow in your face. My last saving grace..."

Bells toll all over the town, burn, burn until it's all gone
Game over, what was a bad joke is now a reality show...

Are we all forced to obey... Are we ALL are forced to obey...

I climbed up the mountain,
and dug a grave for each day of pain,
it's in the past, this moment's so frail...
I am what you made me
With years of abuse, So burn!!!!

This is a match made in Hell,
now the whole mountain burns
and every man gets what no man deserves

Our beloved kin never learned to fit in
Now I pay for my name, live my life in sin
How much less can I ask from you people?
This town stays in disarray
'til the rules are the same for us all

Our beloved kin
Now I pay for my name
How much less can I ask from you people?
I hereby declare a martial law
and you all, we all are forced to obey... hey!

Ups, downs and around

I will try to have a good attitude towards the things I can not change...if I keep repeating that to myself I might start to believe it. But God why do you have to test me so hard? Good intentions are bullshit, posite thought are useless, ACTIONS move the world. Ppl should spend more time doing, making, putting ideas into motion instead of just talking and wasting air. But once again I have to admit that if everyone act like that then I am the one who must be wrong. Wrong of trying to behave like a responsable human being. Wrong of expecting support. Wrong of believing other ppl can have critical thinking. So I will admit I am wrong on putting trust somewhere beside me.
Teaching myself how to take care of plants and having a good time doing it(who knew?). I am finally spending time outside the house :o I think the neighbors are getting worry lol

Friday 13th

This is a well balance week, last Saturday was 7/7/7 and today is Friday 13th. Life is trying to reach a middle point or something...hmmm Since I did not got lucky hopefully I won't get (more) bad luck. The druid/Ranger is in full motion I was able to bring back to life a rose plant and another tree/bush that the gardener buthcer a few months ago. WARNNING: EMOTIONS AHEAD Yesterday I went to water the plants and I saw a little green on the pot that have, what I though was a lost cause, death pices of wood for the past 3 weeks. Thinking it was jsut grass I bend to pick it out. For my surprise they were leaf on the base of the trunk. I look for someone to share the news and the only ones there were the dogs. So I went and share the happy news with them. I was on the floor with four dogs fighting for attention. I also saw improvement on a rose that was deprive of leaf. It took me more than 2 years but I am learning the basic of plant growing...Everything has two sides lol


www.hostdrjack.com

:-O_ _ _ _

Why the Hell did I wait so long to see Pirates of the Caribbean? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! The movie is so freaking good. So many things happening my eyes were everywhere. Perfect timing for my so bored existence. The only fault is that I probably won't be able to see it again in the theater...maybe. Please someone bring D&D back to my life...maybe I should >:|
Work irrelevant at the moment trying to keep the I don't care attitude, house same ups and downs, personal life...having one, not the perfect one but one. I need something to focus my energy on even if it is the bad one. If I can not find the lost arc maybe I can find a desolated island in the process.
Liking myself a lot but piss at too many things around me. Full fill, NEVER and I have to deal with that. Perhaps it is my high expectations or the never ending flow of ideas that come to my head. Whatever it is I know for a fact that I will never be satisfied with nothing or no one. At least I will have goals until the day I day or my goals kill me :s

Which Horror Movie Are You?

Ginger Snaps

You are ready to move on with your life and become a whole other person. You are tired of what you used to be, you need to introduce some excitment into your life, however you can. Whether this means taking up a new a job, or a whole new identity, you want to leave who you used to be at the door, and break out of your shell, becoming a whole new person.


Is that a hint or something?? Frustration is beggining to take a tool on me so I will try my best to ignore and keep on walking. I will not try to make things right, if you like to breath shit them for all means stuff yourself. Why should I care if no one does. I will just live and let die.

Friday??

Well the week is over and I am looking forward to spend some quality time in my house alone or with company, wherever the wind blows. Seriously thinking of getting out of the house so I can go on new venues, but not sure yet. I am not sure if it is the time of the year or something else...I will keep track. I can not see where I am going, is like driving while falling asleep, you open your eyes and find yourself farther but you don't know how or when is going to end.
A batch of new faces is hatching lets see if they have the longevity the become more or will they disappear in the mist like distant memories.

Sometimes...

Should I feel rage or pity towards the ppl that can't or are unable to live to my so Godly expectations? I am aware that I do expect allot from the ppl around me, and of course I know that my expectations are unrealistic by mortal standards. But I refuse to lower them...then what are my options?
1.Stop winning because no one can satisfied me
2.Keep crushing souls in the wake of my rage for their stupidity
3.Ignore, Delete, Restart
4.Cease waiting for a Big Bang

I closed myself a long time ago and now I know why. Is not the pain of being hurt is the frustration of being disappointed. I can handle suffering but I am a bitch when it comes down to be let down. The worse part is that only I notice those times, ppl are so single minded or just plain...well plain that they do not even realize something is wrong and when they do catch something is out of place, they tend to point to another direction.

Until September these will be frustrating months...

Yesterday my mother and stepfather celebrated their 28th anniversary, man that is some give and take relationship. But it does work for them. If only dogs lasted that long...

Middle of 07

After a month of no going to the movies I went to see FF Rise of the Silver Surfer...Is Stan Lee so desperate of attention that he is willing to sacrifice quality over a few seconds on screen. I am not a hard core fan of the FF and even I could see the mayor violations done to that story. And lets say for the sake of the argument that I went to see it as just a movie then it just plain sucks!
Besides that I did some cleaning on the garden..not much
House keeping...while it last
Getting tire of being there for everyone, I am about to turn into the Mar's Storms and blow everyone in my path. Not fair to be the One and never have a one. I do not have a problem to be a lone wolf but if you are trying to be part of my pack act like you mean it. Run beside me, hunt with me, sleep under the same fullmoon, cry under the same rain. I only ask for you to share my experiences, my journey, my life.

back

You scored as Sorceress, Your a sorceress. You cast a spell on people the first time you meet them, and you love for them to depend on you. You get upset when things don't go your way. Well, guess what, your in for a shock, 'cause you don't always get what you want. Dragon 100% Sorceress 100% Drow 92% Vampyre 92% Wolf 83% Goddess 67% Shadow Spirit 67% Faerie 50% Elf 42% Zombie 33% What ancient breed are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Long days and even longer nights. Still waiting for my body to shut down for 12 hours or so. Trying to get the mind juices running, no I am not planning on killing someone. I just pick up the damn pencil and notebook and started writing. Still do not know the direction I am heading with it. It might be a module, a short story, a poem or jus some random thoughts. A deserve outburst for the storms in my head. On more normal news: I am making a few designs for the Pack housing and play ground. They will share the space with the garden wanna be. Also deciding what change will be more interesting(for me) in the front yard. Not looking for painting since the asshole I have for a contractor still haven’t finish the freaking job. I am more convince that my breed was spread trough the four corners of the planet so we couldn’t dominate it. I had meet a bunch of old souls like mine and I am grateful for that. Just wish they were not so distant or unreachable. For now I will keep astral traveling or net surfing you pick.

A month in oblivion

Not going to make the epic novel about the past month and its turmoils. Lets just say that I am getting back to a normal schedule and having a life after work. Being a slave to expectations is a tiresome duty. Under achievers have all the fun, no one expect anything from them and their littlest effort is perceive as a triumph. Stupidity should be a crime punish by death so the worthy can live on a better World. Useless crap should be dump in the nearest junkyard so it can rot away without being seeing or smell.

Dance of death-Iron Maiden

Let me tell you a story to chill the bones
About a thing that I saw
One night wandering in the everglades
I'd one drink but no more

I was rambling, enjoying the bright moonlight
Gazing up at the stars
Not aware of a presence so near to me
Watching my every move

Feeling scared and I fell to my knees
As something rushed me from the trees
Took me to an unholy place
And that is where I fell from grace

Then they summoned me over to join in with them
To the dance of the dead
Into the circle of fire I followed them
Into the middle I was led

As if time had stopped still I was numb with fear
But still I wanted to go
And the blaze of the fire did no hurt upon me
As I walked onto the coals

And I felt I was in a trance
And my spirit was lifted from me
And if only someone had the chance
To witness what happened to me

And I danced and I pranced and I sang with them
All had death in their eyes
Lifeless figures they were undead all of them
They had ascended from hell

As I danced with the dead
My free spirit was laughing and howling down at me
Below my undead body
Just danced the circle of dead

Until the time came to reunite us both
My spirit came back down to me
I didn't know if I was alive or dead
As the others all joined in with me

By luck then a skirmish started
And took the attention away from me
When they took their gaze from me
Was the moment that I fled

I ran like hell faster than the wind
But behind I did not glance
One thing that I did not dare
Was to look just straight ahead

When you know that your time has come around
You know you'll be prepared for it
Say your last goodbyes to everyone
Drink and say a prayer for it

When you're lying in your sleep, when you're lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the dead
When you're lying in your sleep, when you're lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the dead

To this day I guess I'll never know
Just why they let me go
But I'll never go dancing no more
'Til I dance with the dead

Recharged

Last week was filled with stress, work, disappointment and I couldn't care less. Saturday night was worth the wait. At 5:30 pm I realize there was no water(again) so I had to picked all the tools for the tune up and drove to my mother's house to take a bath. Drove to work so I could park in a safe place and took the "Tren Urbano" to the Choliseo(local stadium). It was my first time to that place and I was pleasantly surprise at the organization. Once inside well is a stadium, if you want to drink a piña colada $6.00, a can beer $5.00, only the powers that be know the prices for wine, cocktails and all the stuff I saw ppl drinking. At 9:23 pm the lights dim and the sound of "Funeral for a Friend" filled the stadium, this is where I got impress with the Choliseo the sound is fantastic. Wearing a red shirt, a long black coat, with a drawing on the back of the coat of himself sitting in a rocket to the moon Sir Elton John entered the stage and performed "Love, Lies, Bleeding" after that nothing else mattered. I was in a place where nothing could reach me except for the sound of tha master pianist and his voice. Rocket Man, Candle in the Wind, Burn down the Mission, Sorry since ti be the hardest word, The bitch is back, Saturday, I'm still standing, and so many more gave me all my money's worth. Not only did he performed outstanding but we added some arrangement that made old songs not so old. After 2 hours and 20 minutes of none stop music he said farewell and I have and more accomplishment in my life.

a new face

After so long and meaningless nights I finally develop a new side that I did not knew I had it in me. It took me two days of manual labor, utilizing tools that I still do not know their names, buying things describing them with childlike precision...but it is done. I fix my master's bathroom toilet!!!!! and so I can say that I am officially a 0 level handyman. Of course I had a pool in the bathroom and I ran out of towels to keep the water check. I had to borrow tools since I do not have any! But all my cursing and winning paid off...I am not useless in house maintenance.
I had training the whole week for the may upgrade + working on final touches for the new facility + day to day crap + a flesh eating fungus, a little tire but no burn out.
I went to the dermatologist because I though that my perfume was giving me an allergic reaction but as soon as she saw me she told me it was "paño"(fungus). At least I know I can smell different again. She gave a cream(not cheap) and antibiotics(really cheap) and an appointment for 3 weeks. While I waited in the office this fruity lawyer(or so he claim) was making calls and discussing cases out loud. He was talking about drugs, assassinations, fugitives and he was driving everyone insane specially the old people that were getting freak by the conversation. Thankfully he made eye contact and could read my intentions.
I need to do house cleaning this weekend and hopefully rest, rest and rest.

Friday the 13th

If we did not have bad luck how could we have any luck? Enjoy or suffer the rest of the day, but whatevere you do please keep away from little leprachauns and pixies. With the visare thing I call life, today(so far) has been a lucky day. With (finally) good news at work and from the Contractor(yes he's still alive). Tonight a movie fest for me and myself.

Spring Break update

Last week I took a well deserve rest from work. I decided not to travel outside the island but instead do some local tourism. Since I am still a little laszy I havent download the pics form my camera so next time I will post some. I took Satyrday to clean the house+dogs+car. I went a little druid on the back yard and relocated some plants plus I bought two rose bushes to add some color to the barren landscape. Sunday I did a Closer marathon follow by a 24 mini marathon. On Monday I started my ride near Caguas, I went to Guavate and kept on driving till I reach a beautiful place with a stream, birds singing, cloudy day perfect to walk and enjoy the view. The only thing I regret was not having a book and nurishment so I could stay a little longer. The communion with Nature was great with no ppl around to bother or break the magic. Tuesday I went to Arecibo to La Cueva del Indio, I took a friend along so I wouldnt felt asleep. Getting there was half the fun and a nice ride since there was no traffic. The place is a huge rock near the coast where you can walk and go down to what look like a little cave. The waves crash constanlty and the sound, wind and sun where a refreshing experience. Tuesday I tried to go to a Mariposorio in Guayama. The road to get there is quiet and I was able to have a nice view of a factory and the coast. Once in Guayama the journey to get to the Mariposorio wasnt over since the place is in a barrio far away in the mountains, but once I arrive they were close, so I kept on driving to Ponce(just for the fun of it). Went to the typical places and headed back to Caguas. Wedsnday my cousin, his wife and their 5 children came to visit for a few days. Spend the afternoon with a friend in San Juan, Condado and Carolina then to my aunt's house to have some family time.
Thursday and Friday took it slow, I went to visit my mother, spend some time with my father and watch TV. I also went to see The Reaping on Friday, is an ok movie, predictable, linear but with good special effects so I guess it is made for America.
Saturday did some shopping and took a chance to eat some sea food, I am very allergic to everything sea related but I am using myself as a guinea pig for a experiment which I think is going well(at least I am still alive).
Sunday went to Las Cavernas de Camuy, wow, that is the only way to describe what I felt there. Is another world once you go down that road and the cold breeze touch your skin. I was took by surprise by all the images, I need to go back to really enjoy it.
The ranger in me is very happy at this moment. I needed it to go back to my simple self and enjoy my simplicity. Maybe I am not such a lost cause after all.

weekend??

Are Saturday and Sunday over? It seems like I have been in my office all these days, wait a minute I had!! On Friday night I received a call telling me there was an issue with the system. Since it was 10:40pm I knew no one was at the office eto solve the problem, so I had to drive from my house to the Institution. I was here until 1 am in the morning but I solve the problem. Saturday morning my employee called me to ask me another random stupid question, which piss me so much that I did not went back to sleep. I went to Denny's and eat like a pig for breakfast. Around 6:00 pm I get a called from work with another biggie. After a close encounter of the worse kind with the person who was supposed to be on call, I came down for another 2 hours of work. Sunday morning at 8:00 am another call woke me up. So I started my Sunday very early. Went in a frenzy cleaning mode, interrupted by the oh so annoying calls from work, since no one else called on Sunday. Now my nose hurts from all the hidden dust that went into my body. Hopefully the week will take a turn for the best.

friday 23

Wednesday was the birthday of the most amazing woman I know, my mother. I called her at 8:00am to wish her a happy day and many surprises on her day. Then I went to her house at mid day with a beautiful orchid that I bought her. She looked happy. SO with many greetings from family and friends she had a wonderful, retired birthday. I am returning to workaholic mode because of the big projects ahead. So lets see if the resolutions for this year do not go down the drain.
Meet a few nice ppl over the net, apparently I am more approachable when ppl do not get afraid of me lol. So for meeting and getting to know ppl I do recommend de net, beside being yourself and do not have any expectation what so ever about no one. People can surprise you if you give them the chance only problem is meeting ppl so far and apart but is worth the while. Now lets see if I can keep in touch.

What a week!!!

Last week was jigsaw of events and emotions. The week started with a Bang between my boss and the Administration. Finally the Administration is seeing through the web of lies and bad judgement that sums up my boss. They are double checking every word he said and questioning every move he had made. Hopefully this means a change in the way things are running around here. After that the scope of the word I have to do between now and may was revealed to me. There is a lot to do so we can comply to some Federal changes that are due on may. Thanks to, guess who?, my boss we are a little late and behind schedule on that.
On Wednesday I was blessed(yes I said BLESSED) to meet a little kender call Joshua. He is supposed to be a 5 years old kid but actually he must be a 250 years old kender. He was born with his legs cross and had been to surgery four times to correct the problem. Now he walks with the help of a walker. This will be his fifth operation and the last one, hopefully. The kid has a positive attitude that could teach a lot of us the stop wining. He is being raise by his grandparents, which he calls mom and dad, since his birth mother did not want to deal with the situation and his father die. He lifted the spirit of everyone in that waiting room and made cry a few older woman with his spirit an cunning. The only thing that bother me was that he is in a Special Education room because of his legs...the kid has a brilliant and fast mind, anyone that take the time to spend five minutes with him can see that, what is wrong with our Department of Education...Why every handicap persons is automatically assume to have mental disabilities? ppl start doing your job and stop treating handicap persons like a mob. Anyway hope I can see Joshua's father running after him one day.
Went to see 300 nice cinematography, great special effects and awesome bodies everywhere. For me, much better than Sin City. Even though you know how is going to end you can't help but wanting to end different. A must see for every fan out there. I also saw to trailers that caught my attention Pathfinder is a story based on vikings against native Americans and the next install of Resident Evil, something very wrong happened in Las vegas.

Back from the undead

Last week I got an infection that brought me down for a well deserved rest. If it was not for the constant shivering, fever and not eating it would have been a pleasant time. Thanks to a very well manner doctor I was able to get out of that state quite fast. Lost 5 pounds and one week of gym...which means one week of getting back to where I was. Thanks to those who called, sometimes I need a reminder of who cares.
Mother in Super mom mode...went to my house and did an Enriquesta cleaning on the house. Father in whatever state he gets that he called almost everyday, almost. Doggies bitching since I am not spending as much time as they are used to with them.
Rented The Covenan+ not even worth it if you are sick. Good ideas bad, bad, bad execution. You cant base a movie in special effects no matter what Episodes 1 -3 tell you. I rather watch 2 hours of Charmed reruns than this movie again. Saw "Stick it" it was on cable and I was bored enough to watch it...if you are bore and is a free movie not that bad. Nothing great but at least it helps pass time. Is a parody of the gymnastic world, it has it moments.
Back to the real world.

Believe it or not

Yes I am posting on a Saturday because The only employee that I have on Saturday called me at 6:45am telling me she was sick and could not make it to work...Who am I supposed to call at that time to tell them to get to work at 8:00 am. Did I mention that her free days are Sunday and Monday...things that make you go hmmm.Anyway the morning was quite interesting with bug to clean from one of the programs and then some random users paraphernalia. The rest of the afternoon, well down hill. At least I was able to burn some cd and do some need it ebay surfing. The Dr is acting kind of crazy this days(crazier than usual) and the Mc I hope don't get any ideas. Is it so hard to understand that what I say IS what I mean? Why do ppl have to asked the same thing over again like I was kidding the first 20 times. I AM NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!!! In fact I am so simple that ppl get confused. Is not my fault...is the others' guys fault.
No I am hearing noises in the department and I am the only one here...shadows too...I will call it a day now.

another Friday

One busy week at work. Calls, complains, brainless mass of meat, the usual. Taking care of my new babies, trying not to get too attach...doing a miserable job at that. Playing with them, getting down and dirty(what would the High elves think?). The albino one I think is kind of blind and wasn't eating properly so I am manually feeding him twice a day, this morning he looked in much better shape, hopefully he is out of danger. The mother fucker of the guy that still ha vent finish the work at home called me to telling me to drop everything because he will eventually get the job done...who the hell does he think I am. Like I am going to be so stupid to drop the case. Getting tired of many satellites in my life, trying to reform the ruins of my existence, not ad easy task but brick by brick.

Friday not the 13th

Friday is here and I am ready for it. After a drama week at the office the Devils' advocate came to the surface and I am at the top again. Let the infirior beings run and tremble from the shadow the my presence impose. Still trying to get out of a gun point date, but I know I can crush even the more oblivious.
Is interesting the ppl you meet when you gice them a chance. This week I have meet 3 guys that like a lot of the same stuff I like:metal, anime, rpgs, video games, Heroes! It has been quite easy for us to get along and talk for hours. Which means my bread is out there but apparently we are all inside our houses lol Will try to keep in touch with them, who knows maybe I can still make new friends.

Happy Valentine

your dragon self (stunning pics and detailed results)

You Are A Red Dragon, and, sorry to say, but this is bad! You are capricious, umpridictable, and greedy. You would travel very long distances to enlarge your treasure, and you would remember evry little coin and artifact in your loot. You live in caverns in hight moutains and consider anythings over 100km around your nest as your propriety. You hate humans and attack them as soon as they get in your sight. You will destroy and plunder the villages located on your territory and order the sacrifice of a virgin . You are are very fierce and cruel, but if a human gets to gain your trust(and if you didn't roast him before), you will be the best ally possible. You don't use a lot of magic, you are very smart and you breath fire.stone: rubyquote:"I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry" from Maxine Waters,you control: fire
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mini vacations

Finally I was able to relax and more important sleep. This past weekend I decided to do nothing, and nothing...more or less I did(or did not). My weekend started on Friday since my boss did not appeared to work. I took the day to catch up with my emails and sites that I have not touch in quite a while. Talk to a few ppl at work(yes this is a weird year) I even got an early Valentines invitation, someone was trying to get head start, lol. Got home and let the bartender loose. Prepare 2 or 3 margaritas or bombs and called it a night. Saturday was a photo shoot with the pack...pictures will come later. Played with them almost all morning until I think they got sick of me. Played Suikoden 2 for most of the afternoon and watch AnimeNetwork the rest of the day. Saturday night is a blurr I just know I stay home and fall asleep. Sunday received a call from V she sounded like she was having a good time, good for her and her hubby. I was tired of being in my house so I took the Ghoul and went to burn some gas. I ended up in a nice place called Don Jose in Aguas Buenas, I think, is a mix of a "lechonera" and restaurant. Very typical place with a wonderful old fashion chandelier, forgot the camera sorry, many antiques pieces around gave quite a nice atmosphere. The service was ok I will say because of the rush of ppl that appear suddenly. I will go back so I can recorded and to give it a second chance at service.

Feels good to be enjoying myself, not that perverts!, but to be able to breath fresh air once in a while. Specially after Xmas which I hit rock bottom. Need to work on that because each year gets worse. But for now the days are not so dark...unless I want them to be.

two down

Thursday was my selfish day off. Woke up went I felt like it, took care of my babies and their babies. Did some cleaning around the house and just played the whole afternoon. Forgot to do grocery shopping so I settle for Chinese to go. Friday was a busy morning then took off to Aguadilla to pick V's wedding cakes...there were cars on top cars the whole way thru. I really want it to stop in Arecibo's lighthouse along the way but hey it was getting late. After a looooong journey to Mayaguez the quest to find shelter begun. For some reason a disconnected the fact that the Candelaria and Fiestas Patronales were the same thing. Found shelter in the last place I check and went to deliver the goodies. What can be describe as a Martha Steward moment a bunch of hands were doing many finishing touches to some V' s ideas into the late hours. I just went to the hotel and crash. I was pissed because the TV was put but then again I was so tired I couldn't have watch it even if it was ok. Did not have a good nigth sleep the fucking AC didn't work as one should expect so I was getting hot or cold the whole night. Got out early morning to see if I could see some old friends from Colegio, only saw one. We talk a while and went down...way down memory lane. After accepting the fate that I was chofer/butler/doormat went to find the elusive white socks...don't ask. Took Anthony and the cakes to church went back to pick V and delivered her to church. I had close encounters of the very weird kind in church. After Sara arrive the ceremony began. It was a simple nice ceremony. The priest looks like a cool guy, no wonder the beverage(VA=V8, never mind) like to go there so much. After the ceremony then all hell got loose. Why do I like to have a plan? because I like to know what is going to happen and be prepare for it. Why didn't I ate lunch? because I was going to stuff myself with meat(...you know what I mean). It was a good act of V's father to invited them to dinner it was a bad execution the rest. After the awkward dinner was over we went back to the aunties so they could finished packing. Since Joe was in Mayaguez for the wedding I gave him a ride to SJ...you want to know something he is the best co-pilot ever!!! I was afraid I might fall asleep driving but thanks to him I was alert must of the trip. Arrive home at 1:30am they had to be at the airport at 7:00 am...I wen to sleep and opened my eyes at 6:55am...drove them to the airport in chofer mood again, it was Sunday so they got there on time...hopefully. Ate a five meat sandwich and went home to sleep until 2:00 pm Since I didn't do the groceries, I think I ate care for dinner. Monday was a busy day catching up on 3 days off and trying to finish some details at work. The highlight of the day Heroes I am hook with that series/soap opera. Tuesday will be the day to visit the parents. I cant say I have been bored.

last day on January

A very busy week at work lots of projects and a blackout on the main center was enough to have me running yesterday like a mouse in a cat party. Still trying to get used to some changes at the office and the all mighty incompetent boss...is hard to be me in an imperfect world.
The first month is gone already? That was fast, it seems as if as you get older the years go faster.
People a condom is cheaper than any treatment or ailment so why don't you used it? I will hate to have to give support to someone that got sick for been stupid. I can be a very good friend but I am blunt as a giant. Is not just the moment is your whole life and maybe someone else life that you are playing with. Have all the fun you want, I am up for that, but be safe about it OK!
There is also a lot of places you can go and get tested for free for HIV and STD go so at least you can know for sure.Anything treated on time can lead to better way of life.

One down, one to go

Last week was a busy one. On top of my normal load of work I was given 5 new projects, 2 which have a deadline of February 9, 2007 the other due on march...be careful what you wish for. My boss reassign the Help Desk to another person. I felt bad at first then decided to let it go less stress for me..but then the Coordinator had a meeting with me and my boss to explain her plans for the new year and all she did what talk dirt about the HD and her supervisor(ME!) it almost made me forget my resolution but I just put her in her place with my natural ability to be sarcastic and proper :) So one less thing for me to worry at work now the HD is on her own with her Coordinator. I work overtime to get some bugs fix which off course no one took care during my vacations. But actually I am back to enjoying getting to the office, and all it took was one quick resolution.
Also following with the list of things I should not put off I call a friend which I had deleted from my circle. He is an ok guy it just that sometimes I can be a little bastard and ppl don't get it. Is not that I am evil(which I am not denying either) is just that I see things differently. Next step is trying to get close to my blood related family...still wondering if it is even worth a try. Luckily for me I have two branches to reach I just need the continuity to grap one. Is that or lose all contact with blood once my mom and dad pass away.
On Saturday was Sony and Tony 's (it sound like a merengue group)weeding. I was the official Best Man. The priest knew them and he was able to deliver a service really custom made for the family. Not many ppl went to the church they appear at the reception(why??) Finally I meet friends of Sony that I have heard for years and didn't knew...and all night I kept on hearing:"where is the famous Quevedo?" The highlight of the ceremony...the Photographer. What a freaking character, at least noone will be serious in the pictures. The important thing was they look happy.
Sunday drove to Aguadilla to meet the A and V(beverage anyone?) for the cake. I decided to eat so I wouldnt get sugar crazy over cakes...didn't work. After taking the loooooooong way to get there and a called to the surfer dude we reach our destination. The surfer was useless so we have to wait until today to find out about the deal. But we did get some tasting...one I got 2 pieces of cake and one 3 leches...sugar rush. Took the long way to get home did some site seeing with the light that was available, forgot the camera, my bad. Got home and was able to watch 45 minutes of tv before collapsing.
Today got to work at 6:30am...and I have nothing more to say

Ghost Week

So back to the office has been quite interesting...many changes plans(which I don't know if they will come true)...ppl attitude much better than last year(watching my back for hidden knives)...boss still the same useless piece(dah!). Also this week phantom of the past are reappearing for an encore or something. Lets call her the Editor...she was a maelstrom in the middle of a boring cruise. Good talker, nice listener, intelligent...the bad part too clingy, too fast, too soon. She reappear on Monday asking, talking, talking and talking. Guess she need it some positive feedback or something. Also on Monday a got a message from, lets call her Energiser Bunny...she was a spark of electricity. Funny and easy going...but a nut case. She was hinting on old emotions and experience which I didn't remember or didn't felt the same way about it. On Tuesday the guys from Ponce call to ask if I had plans to try to get the campaign going this year, WHAT THE FUCK!!!! No "hi. how you being? How you doing?" so I politely told them NO. Yesterday got an email form an friend that is living on the State which I ha vent heard for almost 2 years now. Maybe this is the year to reach and touch someone(lets rephrase that). Maybe someone is telling me to make an effort to reconnect with ppl I took for granted and they are a lot. I want to have some ppl around to do stuff, not close friends but at least options to be able to go out or invite home.

Out of the 9th Gate of Hell

I'm still alive
Must have been a miracle
It's been a hell of ride
Destination still unknown
It's a fact of life:
If you make one wrong move with the gun to your head
You better walk the line or you'll be left for dead

I'm a runaway train on broken track
I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
As long as I got blood rush trough my veins
I'm still alive

Lost in the night
Feeling so invisible
Oh, a dead man walking the wire
I have broke the devils net
That's made of fire
And it's a long way down from the top of the world
You better look around or you gonna get burned

I'm a runaway train on broken track
I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
And as the dust wheels look in my eyes
I'm still alive
I'm still alive

The darkest night ain't black enough
To keep the morning light from shinin'
The highest wall ain't tall enough
To keep the smallest man from climbin'

The more that you resist the tide
The more it pulls you in
The more you hang on for your life

(I'm a runaway train on broken track)
(I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time)
(that's right)
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive

I'm a runaway train on broken track
I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
And if my saddle is all that survives
I'm still alive
I'm still alive...


Well that can sum up how I feel today. Xmas/New year thanks God is over and done. I was in a bottomless pit for most of the holidays and I wont go into details but thanks to the ppl that help me get through it. Basically I got a deserving rest that refull my body and soul. I think I was able to reach one of my goals which was to reconnect with my inner kender. Problem is that kenders can be a ray of sunshine when they are happy but a drill in the head when they are sad...not easy being me. At least the new year will be fill with new beginnings my two best friends are getting marry, Heroes and Rome new seasons, new resolutions(ones I think I can keep) and hope...yes I said hope...will see