Only two more days of work and off to neverland for 2 weeks. I feel so f*&(*^ng tire I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. Still hate the holydays but have to love the cold mornings and rainy days...I bought a notebook to start writting stuff...maybe I still have it, not sure, but I am going to find out.
Calling V all week but not luck...hint, hint, hint...
Saw a low budget film call Forbidden Warrior is a refrshing movie, nothing to write home about it but if you are bore(as I was) is an OK movie about a choosen one(not Neo) who must learn about her destiny.
Since these next weekneds are Holydays have to call my party at Ponce to see if they want/can play if not I will visit some friends that I havnet seen in quite a while..hint, hint, hint...

Is that time of the year that make me want to crawl under a rock and stay there until the rotting stench of my flesh wakes me up. Is the time to share the joy with the family that I dont have beside my mother and father. They are the only ones I consider relatives so instead of feeling all warm inside all I can do is think what will happen when they are not there?..who will care when they are no longer beside me? loneliness is a beautiful sensation except when it start to eat you from the inside out. I was born to feel alone, to never have the satisfaction of knowing completness, to know there is something missing but never being able to find it.


Misplaced
Sonata Artica

(Tony Kakko)

Sometimes I feel so out of time and place, trapped in a maze
As if I was lost in someone else's life...
The values I should keep in high regard don't mean a thing to me

Do you ever feel a need to go back in time? A dream of mine...
To travel far away and one day steal back my life
In the end all I can do is to learn I live in a dreamland

This time was not made for me,
I have nowhere to land, no place to rest,
Like a bird, without a nest, I'm gliding
Under the clouds, forevermore

How much suffocated anxiety can be held within?
I was found guilty to a crime against myself.
No need to hear the words again,
I live and I'd die for my dreamland

This time was not made for me,
I have nowhere to land, no place to rest,
Like a bird, without a nest, I'm gliding
Under the clouds, forevermore

I'll never have a chance, I can't understand
I'm a misplaced man
How could this backward land
Learn to understand my dance
What it's like, when every single smile hurts...

I have never felt like home here
Always missing something
People aren't connecting
Am I a misplaced soul?

I live in a perfect Hell, I try finding my wishing well
when I drop my last tear, I have accepted this life

A true saint, that I am not, you have never seen me
'Cause I have always been there, standing by your side

I'll never have a chance, I can't understand
I'm a misplaced man
How could this backward land
Learn to understand my dance
what it's like, when

Every single moment pains me...
Never felt like home here
I am missing something
My soul's in a wrong shell





Yes I am this crazy after all the crap I took a Nerd test

0ne Month Later

Quick status:
--House: the same, the contractor is missing in action I only wish that whatever happen to him I can be there to see it. Did som Xmas decoration.
--Work: Completely piss at it. Nothing is fair and my search for a new job is great if they pay what I want, but apparently everyone want to be cheap assholes
--Relationship:...Still having fun, not thinking about it too much, getting by

I am very disappointed with the house or maybe with the whole situation. I love to be on my own and enjoying the privacy + freedom. But the troubles with the contractor had left a bad taste that is being very hard to get out of my mouth. I havent bought a thing for the house in like 3 months and I havent done the garden in 2 month. I think the neibors believe I am a pig...who cares. Hopefully I will be out of comission fron december 23 until january 9..I know is only two weeks but that is 7 days more than I usually have. My big plan is to sleep, sleep and read. I have no plan on doing to much. Game in Ponce is going ok I have another player so back to the drawing board to get him into the campaing...waitting for Kymil to make a special apearance(maybe). On the plus side the weather upthere is great for staing in bed under the blankets...alone ppl dont be naugty. My bitch gave birth to 5 puppies but 2 have already left us. One of the puppies is pure white...I CANT HAVE MORE DOGS!!!! keep saying that to me whenever I mention herbeauty.