-.-

This weekend was a WoW free weekend, I decided to take some days off the game to start focusing in other areas of my life, yes gaming IS part of my life. So I went in druid mode taking care of some plants that I had neglected for too long. I will see if I still had the touch because a few of them are on the edge of passing to a better life. I was so into plants that I went to Caguas and brought a few from there. Is not the same to have them on pots but is better than leaving them to whitter and die. First I will rehabilitate the roses then I will go crazy with cactus. Even the plants I like have thorns lol.
The dogs where piss since I was outside and not with them, specially Aku who went back at biting once I entered their territory. Kalisto is still nursing her 6 puppies and they are beginning to eat out of her bowl. I had never seen her so motherly in all the years she had benn with me...could this be her last batch? maybe she knows I plan to get her fix. I really do not want her to go thru another birth. Although once I can find a good place I can have more of them I will get them somewhere. Ppl think it is hard work taking care of them but hey! since I do not have kids to take to school, do homework, educated(no training for the dogs) and the such I do have enough time to dedicate to them and they sure appreciated my slaving over them lol.
I do assume ppl won't need me or won't miss me. I just want to say thanks for reminding me I need to keep in touch because we are friends, because we care, or just because. I really need to put more effort on not neglecting friends when they are friends. I have two or three close friends but I have to internalized that I might have more friends than I dare to admit.

:@

Finally this week is over!! Although I do not any plans for the weekend to come I look forward to have some lazy time, hopefully. I just want to be there rotting in the sofa/bed for hours watching crap TV and letting my mind drift to never land. Sometimes I need a shutdown period.
My bitch Kalisto gave birth to 7 pups. Six red as her mother and one completely white. So far all of them are alive and six are healthy the last one is so tiny that I am not sure if it will survive. So every morning and afternoon I am the one making sure that little one gets some milk. Compare to the others six she is like 2 weeks behind. NO I am not falling in love with another dog, for now. Their eyes are still changing but one of the males is going to be a carbon copy of Kalisto, red/brown hair with gorgeous blue eyes. The others I am not sure until a few more days how the eyes will be. After the previous birth, that Kalisto ate all of them, I am surprise how motherly she is been with this batch. She is getting paranoid now that they are starting to walk/crawl away from her. She is in good condition and eating like a horse :S
This week I was happily put on my place for neglecting Valentine's day. I though it was not important, that you just did not care but you do...Who knew? I though I had you figure out and then you come to hit me with that backlash, ouch! nice! I will go back to my attention to details that I had let go off. I am glad you noticed that I was lacking but I am happier that you care enough to let me know. Are you a masochist? Why do you put with all my crap? Not that you are so easy to handle yourself...What do you gain from me? What do I get from you? Of all the ppl in my life are you the one to be there for me? Of all the ppl in your life am I the one to fill your needs? You know I can not be tame or cage, I know you can not be change...and knowing that we still here. Why I write this because you do not know about it. Maybe one day I will let you on this secret. But for now it will be here and maybe there for when the time is right.

-.-

It has take me a while to decided if I want to continue wrtting adn after some time off I think I might. Still not sure where I want to take this blabbing but at least I can get some stuff out of the system.
How can I ask of you to listen when you are dealing with such a responsability. My meaninless complains are shadow by your unafair circunstances. It was fun to played ball with each other so called "issues" but how can I be of any help when my hands are tie. I feel helpless and that bothers me so much. Is frustaiting to not be able to be the bra I am supposed to be. My only consolation is that you have the mage by your side. A guy that everyday gains more and more my admiration and respect. On the other hand you had made me realize how pity I can be at times. You have teach me so much over the years and even though ppl will never understand why or how we still friends I just now we are. Saying goodbye to have you a trip away had been harder that you can imagine. Stopping myself from calling just to chat when I am bored a nightmare. Yesterday I said goodbye to my brother becasue he is joining the armed forces and it did not move me as much as saying goodbye to my friend, her hobby and their baby. A big part of me was going away and I could not stop it. Bt I knew it had to be done.
At the same time my other sister was solid on her marriage and her new life. For which I was happier than a dog with two tails. But that meant sacrifying time spend togheter and leaving her protetion to someone else. Understanding that she no longer need it protecting took a lot out of me but I was confident in her choice and he has been a great man to her.
Having too much time to myself left me no where to go but inside. Not to hide but to reconnect and redefine. I stared a long and hard journey which had taking me everywhere from hell to heaven. Which I might write later on.

Mid of Feb

Finally got my green light form the physician. After weeks of tests and buckets of blood been drain out of me we discovered that I am fine...I just have a lazy bone marrow. Due to my last “dengue” my bone marrow took a vacation and apparently it takes a while to get up to where is supposed to be. But since I work on an Medical Institution I can not afford to wait for the bone marrow to decide to come back from vacation. They gave me a type of steroid to bust my system and shock my bone marrow to work normal. I got a big scare from my head physician when he decided, without my concern, to ask for an Oncologist for a second opinion. The oncologist send me to do 18 tests! And all the kept writing under reason for exam was leukemia. The waiting is the worse part. So many thoughts go thru your head. All the what if? How would I? ...all that is in the past now and I had my 50,000 miles check up lol.
My mother is getting married to her partner of 35 years on her birthday...it was about time. Everyone is making a big fuss about it. I was hopping for a ceremony with a selected group of friends/family and a nice celebration but nooooooo leave it to my family to turn a special occasion into a “fiestas patronales”. Everyone and their pets is invited...”How can I leave anyone out?” the colors will be dragish eastern bunny, the food asopao de 3 carnes, the ceremony will be in the luxury community center of a “residencial”. And the best part I have to be there. At least I only have to pay for the wedding dress, probably the grooms and my brothers cloths, and just smile for the pictures.
On much better news, I have the dog from hell as my new puppy. What did I expected when I named him Aku? Only 3 months old and he is getting huge, I have a feeling he is a puertorrican mix lol. I had bought him 5 different toys but he still enjoys chewing me...pants, arms, legs, fingers...when I wore short sleeves ppl think I had a fight with a woman. Hopefully he will out grow that face...soon. It is funny to see the old ones requesting attention and the puppy demanding it. Now Loki is getting more territorial with me. He literally jumps into my lap and keeps everyone at bay. Poor Dimitri still the silly puppy just wait for his turn and the matron Kalisto well she just knows I will go to her.
I am leaving for North Carolina next week for training. I will be there for a week learning the structure of the new system’s table. This is the first face of the conversion, start your engines.