Darkness

No, it isn't that I am back into depression is that all I could stand for the past 2 days was darkness. My migraine took a turn for the lets fuck your brains until you bleed. Then after it was bleeding decided to cast a regeneration/fireball/permanency loop combo that shut me down for quite a while. Even the werewolfs notice since they behave when I went to fed them. Actually I think I heard them cry last night...will make time to pamper them this weekend.
Quick recap:
In the freak show that I call life. I am the ring master, always in the center, directing, entertaining, making everyone welcome, in the spot light, always with an inviting smile, surrounding by freaks I call family and expectators...but always alone in the center. I am bless to be appreciate by the ppl I am and all of them know(or at least I hope they know) how important they are in my life, but...there is always a but, I need to feel what some feel around me. I want to rest and know that someone is watching my sleep at least for a few minutes. I need to feel the fire burning in my chest with only a spoken word. I want to explore the bottomless pit knowing there is a light waiting for me at home...
There are jobs opportunities out there 2 to be exact, dont know if this is the right time or if they are the right jobs. Dont want to mess the masters or maybe I do...
Might go to jail if the F***ing contractor does not make an apperaing act...
really need to get the counseling/psi office up an running...much later
Thankgiving week screw due to my boss getting eye surgery...and plastic surgery, think I could convincethe doc to sew his eyelids?
Falling in love with some new lyrics+sounds(about time)
...some one once send me a message that I still keep everywhere, I think it summaries who I am...
If you ever feel like crying call me I dont promise to make you laught but I can cry with you
If you one day feel like not hearing anyone call me I promise to be very still
But if one day you call and I dont answer
come to my rescue maybe I need you

R