Darkness

No, it isn't that I am back into depression is that all I could stand for the past 2 days was darkness. My migraine took a turn for the lets fuck your brains until you bleed. Then after it was bleeding decided to cast a regeneration/fireball/permanency loop combo that shut me down for quite a while. Even the werewolfs notice since they behave when I went to fed them. Actually I think I heard them cry last night...will make time to pamper them this weekend.
Quick recap:
In the freak show that I call life. I am the ring master, always in the center, directing, entertaining, making everyone welcome, in the spot light, always with an inviting smile, surrounding by freaks I call family and expectators...but always alone in the center. I am bless to be appreciate by the ppl I am and all of them know(or at least I hope they know) how important they are in my life, but...there is always a but, I need to feel what some feel around me. I want to rest and know that someone is watching my sleep at least for a few minutes. I need to feel the fire burning in my chest with only a spoken word. I want to explore the bottomless pit knowing there is a light waiting for me at home...
There are jobs opportunities out there 2 to be exact, dont know if this is the right time or if they are the right jobs. Dont want to mess the masters or maybe I do...
Might go to jail if the F***ing contractor does not make an apperaing act...
really need to get the counseling/psi office up an running...much later
Thankgiving week screw due to my boss getting eye surgery...and plastic surgery, think I could convincethe doc to sew his eyelids?
Falling in love with some new lyrics+sounds(about time)
...some one once send me a message that I still keep everywhere, I think it summaries who I am...
If you ever feel like crying call me I dont promise to make you laught but I can cry with you
If you one day feel like not hearing anyone call me I promise to be very still
But if one day you call and I dont answer
come to my rescue maybe I need you

R

Almost getting there

Last night I got home stared the ritual of doggies, got wet since apparently was raining the whole day. I got the feeling they just wanted me to get sucking wet, even Kalisto was jumping on me instead of waiting for me to pamper her. After ending smelling like a wet dog, took a bath and went to the msn to see if my class mates had received the info I send them. For my surprise the Kender of my life was there, it had been almost 2 years since last we spoke(mostly my part I think), out of surprise I send a "Hi"...She answer back and we end up writhing/reading for almost one hour. It was like it was yesterday we had talk last. No ackwarness or hard feelings just a friendly conversation with the sassiness I expect from her but hidden agenda. After agreeing to not disappear from each other life we said goodbye. No sadness or feeling "what if?" just a plain exchange of words with a friend. Maybe that is all I need more ppl that are REALLY my friends. So maybe I will start the Get Reacquainted Crusade and get a hold of ppl that for some reason I let go.
Work...Why bother
Mother getting the 100,000 miles tuneup and a lot of things are getting out hope she will get good news when she gets out of the garage.
Father is in HYSTERICAL mode with the little men.

Master of puppets

I realize a few minutes ago that today is Wednesday...Wednesday...WTF!!!!! It seems that I have been working/studying for 5 days already. My mind is every where and now where. Need to read/review/prepare paper for 6 chapters, start working on final presentation that for this class is one individual and one group, big papa left the class due to medical conditions both his and wife, closing fiscal year got mess up thank to the BEST person I have in my charge(not ironic), emergency room project got me staying here until late last night and early this morning, have 3 due dates this week (why do I even bother to have a scheduler :P) and is only Wednesday. Not that I am looking forward the weekend since I HAVE to do the lawn >:( , watch dogs/cars(actually both together would be fun).
...Of course this means I am having a great time...
Esther...Or "I felt in love because you say hi" as I like to call her is in a psycho mood because I NEVER GAVE HER A CHANCE...wtf!---Morale:never talk/help ppl in distress better to let them disappear.
I will probably buy an AC to use on Sundays and that would be my day off. Just in my room playing video games and no contact with the outside world what so ever...hmm there is an interesting idea.
The plans for Orlando seems to be going down the drain sin Sony haven't confirm anything yet so I am looking for a cheap trip to do on November.