Things do to this week:

Annoyed co-workers check
make boss look like a fool check
run office as I see fit check
do garden pospone until further notice
see finale of who want to be a superhero tonight
get migraine check
get piss hmmm....weird....nothing...hmmm

am I evil?

To watch the beast fall from the top up the mountain...nice
To be the one that push it...great
To be the one that build the mountain form which everything occurs...geniuos
To get the seat the beast left vacant...evil

No morals just the desire to inflict onto others what they have done to you.
The cheer joy of looking into the eyes of despair and defeit.
The sweet extasis of an enymies failure.
The Silence that Victory brings.


Passages from The Book of Storms by Coriolis


Today Coriolis rules the mind...not a bad thing. That means I am enjoying myself...maybe a little too much. If everthing falls into place I will decifer. If not let the riddles spin out of control. NOT ON DRUGS PPL.
Havent finninsh my first class nad already have the assignment for the first class of next course...:P I am loving it. Havent feel tired yet, havent done the garden yet, havent finish Suikode III yet, hevent receive Suikoden II yet...and yet I feel happy and more or less at peace. I have something in my life that gives me peace and rage. Weird, unhealthy, desperate, maybe...but what else a emotinal Agoraphobian like me could survive. Still the one emotion I want the most is not there as much as I want it to...hmmm Well you gice and you take. So far it has been a bumpy ride and I am still there...weirder.

This has been one of the weirdest week in a long time. Everyone in my circle is HAPPY yep actually smillling and laughing. I think this is the first time that this has happen in a very loooong time. I have a running joke that me and my friends are in a see saw one up another down but it appears we are all upo at the moment...or is it that I am on my way down...hmmm
Been very busy with college stuff still trying to get used to the idea I HAVE to work in groups. Besides that I think I could manange 2 classes but I will try to lissen to Viv and to not get compulsive about it. With the work experience I have at the moment I really enjoy the class dynamic, no competive behavior. We are learning from the proffesor and each other. Is a merge of ideas and concepts without envy or backstabbing. And ppl actually apreciated you if you make an intelligent comment. Why the real life has to be such a cut troat enviroment?

I Go To Extremes
Billy Joel

Call me a joker, call me a fool
Right at this moment I'm totally cool
Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife
I feel like I'm in the prime of my life
Sometimes it feels like I'm going too fast
I don't know how long this feeling will last
Maybe it's only tonight

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It's all or nothing at all
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

Sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I'm shot
Sometimes I don't know how much more I've got
Maybe I'm headed over the hill
Maybe I've set myself up for the kill
Tell me how much do you think you can take
Until the heart in you is starting to break?
Sometimes it feels like it will

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
You can be sure when I'm gone
I won't be out there too long
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

Out of the darkness, into the light
Leaving the scene of the crime
Either I'm wrong or I'm perfectly right every time
Sometimes I lie awake, night after night
Coming apart at the seams
Eager to please, ready to fight
Why do I go to extremes?

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It's all or nothing at all
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
No I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
You can be sure when I'm gone
I won't be out there too long
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

Finally decided to get something here...as usual I will start ranting and lets hope we get somewhere...
I have feel great lately...guess that the reason I havent been here...I have found time to breath and be myself. I went and started my masters, they only gave me one class hopefully I will be able to get to classes for the next period cause I feel like I ma walking on the park. The policy of this college required to work on groups...WHAT? I will deal with it one class at a time.
My bitch gave birth...saddly the pups came sick so as yesterday none survive, now I am giving therapy to my manipulativer bitch so she can go on woth her life...she is really sad been crying a lot. Hope she doesnt commit suicide.
FINALLY went to Mayaguez to see Miss V house...great view love what she is doing with the place. She will have many little projects but I know she is up to it...if the money arrives lol.
Work..the only constant in my life...my boss sucks and apparently really good cause he still here with the nonjob he is doing. My co-workers well I am begin to feel like an island separeted from everyone. People only come to me when they need something or maybe is that since the incident with MV i have been avoiding too much contact with ppl. I decided to manage myself since my boss doesnt, I am deciding the projects I take and wich I am not capacitaded to to :P
Taking to some friends trying to get to know a few ppl not a social whore but a social creature.

Hello!!!

On the looong journey to discovery...still like RPGs, love sci-fi movies, series(getting back to Scifi Channel), fantasy novels(trying to finish one before going back to study), dogs, behaving like a dog, playing with dogs...get the idea? talking to ppl that like to talk back, music...I am trying to let a few persons into my circle of friends but I didnt knew how lasy I was at keeping in touch with ppl or maybe is that they bore me to death. The only speed dial of my life is V, Sony, Angel beside that i get sidetrack at calling back.
Managing a relationship and trying to enjoy myself...well is a pain in the neck. I love to be by myself doing nothing...that idea is out of the door when someone is around. I am always right, that is an Universal Truth...why is so hard to accept? :P,NOONE do something for nothing no matter how much they said they do, I have to deal with it. Fireworks only come on the 4th of july and new years eve everything else is just another monday.

Six o'clock already I was just in the middle of a dream
I was kissin' Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream
But I can't be late 'cause then I guess I just won't get paid
These are the days when you wish your bed was already made.

It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my Funday (oh-woe)
My I don't have to runday (oh)
It's just another manic Monday.

Have to catch an early train, got to be to work by nine
And if I had an air-o-plane, I still couldn't make it on time
'Cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I'm gonna wear
Blame it on the train but the boss is already there.

It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my Funday (oh-woe)
My I don't have to runday (oh)
It's just another manic Monday.

All of my nights why did my lover have to pick last night to get down (last night, last night)
Doesn't it matter that I have to feed the both of us, employment's down
He tells me in his bedroom voice:
"C'mon honey, let's go make some noise" (ba ba ba baaaa)
Time, it goes so fast (when you're having fun).

It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my Funday (oh-woe)
My I don't have to runday (woe)
It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my funday (oh)
It's just another manic Monday.





THE BANGLES - "Manic Monday"

....from out of space

Dont want to sound angry or piss all the time but that is my nature. Even when ppl are nice to me I have this dont approach me face that many dont get. Actually I think I only laught, not smile but LOL with only one person, wish she was closer but that is life. For those keeping score I bought a car thank you very much...if I have it with me for a month I will post a pic ok! Still dealing with crap at work(reason why I am piss almost all the time), there is someone in my life(dont want to go into details at the moment) the contractor is missing in action(para vairar) and I am trying to keep in touch with my "friends" more often...more on that later(maybe)

Viv, Sony, Wil, Angel these are the only numbers I know by heart
Angel2, Mamushka, Esther these are the one I am trying to know
Sara, George, Daniel these I need to make an effort
J.R., J.J. those I want to forget

Have:
Best Friend
House
Job
Car

Wants:
Disney vac.
Egypt Trip
Go Broadway hooping
Someone to share it with

Trade:
Job
House

Need:
Time/Space to enjoy life

**Just a brainstorm hopefully NOONE will think I will kill myself***

Live To Tell The Tale
Nightwish

A single grain can tip the scale
Amidst the burden the scale will prevail
Showing what`s worth being here
Storyteller by a hearth of stone
A white little creature purring me
My childhood kingdom gone in time
The islands filling my mind with blue
The one in speacial, heaven's court

All the joy unforgiven by this task

An errant soul, homeless and foul
All gone but the will to
Live to tell the tale

The days are filled with anxiety
Frustration, one right note a day
Where to find a perfect tune
Just do the work and take a step back

All the joy unforgiven by this task

An errant soul, homeless and foul
All gone but the will to
Live to tell the tale

Dark chambers of my mind
Locked around the neck of my love
None of you understand
And it doesn't matter
To a broken marionette like me

An errant soul, homeless and foul

An errant soul, homeless and foul
All gone but the will to
Live to tell the tale

Oh how I hate mykind
Have it all
Yet wish to die

Not mykind but the kind as you are
Saints in Cain's mask
I love you
I just did

long day ahead

I have been in the office since 5am I am suppose to be at a tainning from 8:30am tp 5:00pm WTF!!!! oh well. I cant count on No one in my department to do the things that need to be done but I can always count on:
The Airhead to do everyhting with her feet and be stupid
The Parrot to be blabing all over the place
The ghost that do a lot of noise but is ethereal
The monkey...well to act like one

If it wasnt for the fact that I actually act as my own boss I will run...let me check my loto ticket...someone is a millionaire but not me...ok back to the issue The benefict I get out of my possitions are the only thing keeping me here. If I could put a dollar amount to be able to do as I almost please, to have the recognition of ppl outside the dpt and to be able to be bitchy and ppl have to deal with it I might be able to go to an interview with an idea of how much $$$$ I want. My tolerance levels are non existent and working with children is not helping. So From now on I will treat ppl as they deserve...

NO CAR AT THE MOMENT...dont want to talk/write about it.

need to find an outlet for my anger because I think is getting out of hand...

new day

Let me start by saying that I am not taking any pills or other control drugs...for some reason the black cloud over my head had left and I see a bright day in front of me. I guess is true once you hit the bottom the only way is up. I do have many things I want to do with my life, and to do some I have to put on hold others, that is the difference. Is not that I am discarting, negleting or dismissing is just putting on hold. I have a life to finish as many degrees as I please and if I dont then I will go with the ones I have. So is not a matter of being pull in difrent direction is a matter of having MANY goals in life. Too many...so what, is better than going walking like an undead. I forgot that I used to have many goals and once I reached one there was another, apparently I didnt though about it after college and getting a house. I NEED a purpuse to wake up in the morning I want to be able to look forward to next week or next year. I am going to plan, I am going to write a new story with another set of twist and turns.

How Will I Laugh Tomorrow
ST

Here I sit and watch my world come crumbling down
I cry for help but no one's around
Silently screaming I bang my head against the wall
It seems like no one cares at all
Always an emotion, but how can I explain
How can I explain
Kind of like the scent of a rose
With words I can't explain
The same with my pain
Caught up in emotion-Goes over my head
Goes over my head
Sometimes I got to think to myself is this life or death
Am I living or am I dead
The clock keeps ticking but nothing else seems to change
Problems never solved, just rearranged
And when I think about all the times that I've had
So few good-So many bad
I search for personality and I look for things I can not see

Love and peace flash through my mind
Pain and hate are all I find
Find no hope in nothing new
Never had a dream come true
Lies and hate and agony
Thru my eyes that's all I see
If I'm gonna cry
Will you wipe away my tears?
If I'm gonna die
Lord please take away my fear
Before I drown in sorrow
Last thing that I'll say
How will I laugh tommorow
If I can't even smile today
Today today--when I can't even smile today
Today today--when I can't even smile today
How will I laugh tommorow--when I can't even smile today
How will I laugh tommorow--when I can't even smile today

Martes 13

First we have 060606 day now martes 13, I know for you northamerican is suppose to be Friday 13th but here in Latino land we beleive martes 13 is the bad luck day...why did I get out of my house? with the luck I am having lately I shouldn't take any risk. Anyway I did the summer cleaning of the House now if the weather permits I will do the garden this weekend. Finish FF X-2 not too trill about it the game kind of sucks compare to FF X. Maybe is me but the story lines are getting kind of borring. Will try to read more until August since I am meeting people that actually know something about literature. The only person I can talk about some intelectual stuff is Miss V or maybe she is the only person that gets me. Or maybe I am the only person that gets her who knows.

Don't Stop Being Crazy
Helloween

You're the one I would pick out in a million
You're the one I would wish for as the friend of my life (life)
If the whole world decided for a colour
Would pixels be any different in you (you)

Brave and smart against the rules
You smile upon the fools
I'll follow where you go
I want you to know

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy

When you walk you walk higher than the others
When you talk you talk merciless the bothering truth (truth)
Everyone seems remote-controlled nowadays
Only you have a frequency far beyond their ways (ways)

Still that strong you walk alone
Don't wonder where they're gone
I'll follow where you go
I want you to know

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy (crazy)

Still that strong you walk alone
Don't wonder where they're gone
I'll follow where you go
I want you to know

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy

06-06-06

Just in case this really was the D day I decided to go away again. I had a blast sleeping, eatting, bathing in the beach(I said BEACH). No shitting actually, for some reason my touchie likes it at home...err anyway. It was nice to get away from everything in a place were no one knows who you are. I got myself a nice tan also. Hopefully the felling will last a while. If not well I have plans of making more ME time along the year. I am really considering doing a masters/Ph in psycology. I can put all my mind tricks to a good use. I though about the lawyer thingie but do I really want to start building a firm at 35? The thing is I might have to wait until next year to do that so I can have a few payments ahead on the house. Also if things turn out my way I might go to Egypt or India ....OK Egypt but I want to go for at least 3 weeks so I can take my time to enjoy everything...just if.

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There's nothing left inside of here

And maybe you can cry all night
But that'll never change the way I feel
The snow is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn't make me leave here

I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long
I'm crying icicles instead of tears

And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you're looking for a ruby
In a mountain of rocks
But there ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding
At the bottom of a Cracker Jack box

I can't lie
I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not
No matter how I try
I'll never be able to give you something
Something that I just haven't got

There's only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many years ago
And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back, ooh I know
I remember how she left me on a stormy night
She kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her
Not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away

And she kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
She kep on telling me
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere

MEAT LOAF - "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad"
Jim Steinman-Writter

Some things I knew, some I didnt knew and somne things I just didnt wanted to know. I an letting the kender out more often it has been a while since he came so close to the surface. I havent realize how much I missed him.

Went to see The last stand on Friday...well, hmm, ahhh, if you dont mind the buffalos running free in North America or the Nazis rulling all over Europe or believing that the Davinci code is for real then you will love this movie. On the other hand if you beleive that a story should be told as it happens then run the other way. I know that for Hollywood you have to adapt some things to make them flashier(commercial) but I think they got out of hand with this one. Is not a 3 years' old franchise that you guys are meesing with. With the money you made oout of the first 2 you should know there was material to do like 4 or 5. Why did you have to go and trash all over the stories like that. But any way go fur ball. Also saw Davinci code last night. I did enjoy it but very, very predictable. I prefer Nationals treasures for that matter. But at least it got me interested in reading the book.
Did some work on my garden but had to stop because I got blimishes on my hands...elves were not made for hard labor. Bathed my dogs or bathed with them as usual.
Planning another get away this weekned so dont tell anyone :P if you cant find me know that I will be ok...hopefully. But if you donr hear from me by tuesday get a little worry.

An old Spirit wanting to rest, a wandering soul seeking shelter, ruins of what used to be...I just want to take a drill and let all the steam out of my head. I can feel the migraine coming and there is no stopping it. I had been in the worse mood ever for the past week. And noone is even trying to understand that I am VERY IRRITABLE! Sorry but I do have a limit break and I think I reach it a while ago. Why the fuck do I have to still be the one there for everybody damn it. I too need someone to take the load of from once in a while. I know the burden I carry, I know the responsibilities, the constant judgment, the endless critiquing...But that doesn't mean it is easy or that I don't get tire...I am tired. Family, friends?, work...Life. When is my time to be on the passenger sit? When is my time to just be me?
On top of all the things boiling inside I found out that one of the only 3 co-workers I do share is piss at me...And for what?...I DON'T HAVE A CLUE. He just verbally attack me yesterday out of the blue, which made me so angry that I wanted it to take all my frustration on him. I wanted to rip his tongue and shove it into his ass so he could taste the shit he was talking.
My father is still mad at me for living the rich life or something
Forgot to pay cable, the payment I did make is on the air because is not on my account and it never reach the company.
Not my week, like the song says I need a blue skies holiday..Or I might lose it completely

Christine is ALIVE

So, I forgot my camera which I wish I had at the moment of posting this, but I dont. If I did you would be thinking that I post another picture of the cursed Christine...which is partially true. On Saturday afternoon I was stranded in my house playing FFX-2 when I heard a disturbing sound...I slowly got out of bed, went to the front door and saw a car ram into the already destriy piece of crap that used to be my car. My front neibor had try to move her brother's manual car and the car just went backward donw the rapm and stop when it hit mind.......ok I think this deserves a big WTF!!!!!! How can that damn car still get hit when it cant move? What fucking material was used to create that thing? If someone knows where to find the 7 daggers to kill the anti-christ please let me know.
On other news, about the car, the insurance company came on Friday and took a look at it. It is going to be "Perdida Total" hmmm didnt knew how to translate that. So this Thursday I am suppose to have an answer.
A very good friend told me I was obssesing over a car...and guess what? as always he is right. I dont know why these little things get to me so much. With all the shit happening around me I have to over analyze everything. Well I will try to change that.I said try dont expect miracles ok.

Christine stikes again

On friday night after a day that started at 5pm I got into a crash with an inmobile object, as the police claim says, just 2 minutes from my house I ram the car against a cement block on the side of the road. I am fine I suffer no harm. Being researching all over the place because ther emight be a chance that Christine will come back to life, which I FEAR. The reason that made me buy a Toyota is the same reason there is a chance she will hunt again...re-sale value. My car is worth almost $10,000 in the market right now, WHAT THE FUCK! so my fortune depends now on the estimate and the Insurance Company.
I am in charge of the office this week since my boss is on vacations out of the country. And it has been one of those weeks when everything that can goes wrong. Floods on Sunday, problems with Day End on Monday, shortage of equipment and Bitches geeting on my nerves. I might have to take Friday off to get somethings done.
Hopefully nothing else will go wrong in my life, famous last words.
The only good thing is that I finish a year long PS2 game. Now 5 more to go.

Slap in the face

Ok so I am surfing the net and I found this interesting blog:
http://radtrad.blogspot.com/2006/04/board-game-review-puerto-rico.html

It brought a smile to my face to realize that not every time I see PR on the web is to read an article about The Crisis. I know is just a stupid board game but hey this is my country and I am proud of it. We DO have mediocre leaders, and yes politics here is the dirties job of them all and YES we do suck at a bunch of things. But not everything is lost. There is ppl here that do care and want to make a difference. I know that is hard to see them with all the crap flying around but they are we just need to keep looking for them.
I will be affected by The Crisis since my mother will be out of work...Oh God help me! Also a lot of good friends will be on the street. My shoulder and pockets to them. I just hope someone realize that there are more important things at hand than saving face to come on top...Thanks God is not up to me.

Happy IS week to me!

This is a view of my Holyweek's retreat. Isn't lovely? This weekend I try to complete some house work, but rainy day on Saturday left me with a not get out of bed attitude. Made a nice breakfast with scramble eggs with everything, toast and a big glass of fruit punch juice. Then I took myself in a trip to a little town where a flash disrupted their life and a mysteriuos labyrinth appear out of nowhere. The mission was simple get into the maze and save the Queen. But the stories, the people, the atmosphere was deeper than that. With a party of six I jump into action.
Two days of hack&slash, spells and quest. Quite nice for a change. I also took time off to watch Narni which I found too kidie for my taste and Bone collector which was so so. I have a few plants in need of planting hopefully will get to that this weekend.
Also went to DACO again to ask for my case to be taken to the Justice Dept. since the asshole hasnt paid a penny.

Press Me

Hopefully by next week I will be done with the cat thingie. Finally friday, not a bas week overall but I am tire anyway. Dreading that I might be close to a physical break down but the show must go one. No exercise the whole week getting back the H2O into my skin and peeling like a snake...I look dreamy. If it doesnt rain during the weekend is back to The Project and plant some bushes before they die on my garage, and the lemon tree + I HAVE to do the cleaning of the house...did I really wanted Friday to come? If my boss give the word I will be in a trainning on june on Tampa for a week. My luck is that the week after that I already have plans made so I wont be able to stay and go to Disney as I want to...I am curse to not visit the Magic Kindom.
Feeling much better this days hopefully the black cloud is moving on and I can start smeeling the roses.

Back to reality. I took myself to a retreat to recharge my life source. Hopefully during the next few days I will post some pics. I went to a far away place in PR to be with my favorite person ME! I took a book, my mp3 player and the basics. It was great to scape my life to enjoy having a Life...you know what I mean. Sorry for all the worries ppl but I didnt turn on my cell I didnt even watch tv. I did catch a lot of sunshine i got myself a nice dark brown skin...errr let me refrase that...I got a good suntan. It has been a while since I felt so refresh and actualy serene. I have to make a mental note to treat myself more often. Bougth a lemon tree without thorns, a plant that looks like a "pascua" but is not to plan on the backyard. This was a druidic weekend. Now back to work but somehow thing look brighter today...I might be having a Sound of Music moment...