Friday??

Well the week is over and I am looking forward to spend some quality time in my house alone or with company, wherever the wind blows. Seriously thinking of getting out of the house so I can go on new venues, but not sure yet. I am not sure if it is the time of the year or something else...I will keep track. I can not see where I am going, is like driving while falling asleep, you open your eyes and find yourself farther but you don't know how or when is going to end.
A batch of new faces is hatching lets see if they have the longevity the become more or will they disappear in the mist like distant memories.

Sometimes...

Should I feel rage or pity towards the ppl that can't or are unable to live to my so Godly expectations? I am aware that I do expect allot from the ppl around me, and of course I know that my expectations are unrealistic by mortal standards. But I refuse to lower them...then what are my options?
1.Stop winning because no one can satisfied me
2.Keep crushing souls in the wake of my rage for their stupidity
3.Ignore, Delete, Restart
4.Cease waiting for a Big Bang

I closed myself a long time ago and now I know why. Is not the pain of being hurt is the frustration of being disappointed. I can handle suffering but I am a bitch when it comes down to be let down. The worse part is that only I notice those times, ppl are so single minded or just plain...well plain that they do not even realize something is wrong and when they do catch something is out of place, they tend to point to another direction.

Until September these will be frustrating months...

Yesterday my mother and stepfather celebrated their 28th anniversary, man that is some give and take relationship. But it does work for them. If only dogs lasted that long...

Middle of 07

After a month of no going to the movies I went to see FF Rise of the Silver Surfer...Is Stan Lee so desperate of attention that he is willing to sacrifice quality over a few seconds on screen. I am not a hard core fan of the FF and even I could see the mayor violations done to that story. And lets say for the sake of the argument that I went to see it as just a movie then it just plain sucks!
Besides that I did some cleaning on the garden..not much
House keeping...while it last
Getting tire of being there for everyone, I am about to turn into the Mar's Storms and blow everyone in my path. Not fair to be the One and never have a one. I do not have a problem to be a lone wolf but if you are trying to be part of my pack act like you mean it. Run beside me, hunt with me, sleep under the same fullmoon, cry under the same rain. I only ask for you to share my experiences, my journey, my life.

back

You scored as Sorceress, Your a sorceress. You cast a spell on people the first time you meet them, and you love for them to depend on you. You get upset when things don't go your way. Well, guess what, your in for a shock, 'cause you don't always get what you want. Dragon 100% Sorceress 100% Drow 92% Vampyre 92% Wolf 83% Goddess 67% Shadow Spirit 67% Faerie 50% Elf 42% Zombie 33% What ancient breed are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Long days and even longer nights. Still waiting for my body to shut down for 12 hours or so. Trying to get the mind juices running, no I am not planning on killing someone. I just pick up the damn pencil and notebook and started writing. Still do not know the direction I am heading with it. It might be a module, a short story, a poem or jus some random thoughts. A deserve outburst for the storms in my head. On more normal news: I am making a few designs for the Pack housing and play ground. They will share the space with the garden wanna be. Also deciding what change will be more interesting(for me) in the front yard. Not looking for painting since the asshole I have for a contractor still haven’t finish the freaking job. I am more convince that my breed was spread trough the four corners of the planet so we couldn’t dominate it. I had meet a bunch of old souls like mine and I am grateful for that. Just wish they were not so distant or unreachable. For now I will keep astral traveling or net surfing you pick.

A month in oblivion

Not going to make the epic novel about the past month and its turmoils. Lets just say that I am getting back to a normal schedule and having a life after work. Being a slave to expectations is a tiresome duty. Under achievers have all the fun, no one expect anything from them and their littlest effort is perceive as a triumph. Stupidity should be a crime punish by death so the worthy can live on a better World. Useless crap should be dump in the nearest junkyard so it can rot away without being seeing or smell.

Dance of death-Iron Maiden

Let me tell you a story to chill the bones
About a thing that I saw
One night wandering in the everglades
I'd one drink but no more

I was rambling, enjoying the bright moonlight
Gazing up at the stars
Not aware of a presence so near to me
Watching my every move

Feeling scared and I fell to my knees
As something rushed me from the trees
Took me to an unholy place
And that is where I fell from grace

Then they summoned me over to join in with them
To the dance of the dead
Into the circle of fire I followed them
Into the middle I was led

As if time had stopped still I was numb with fear
But still I wanted to go
And the blaze of the fire did no hurt upon me
As I walked onto the coals

And I felt I was in a trance
And my spirit was lifted from me
And if only someone had the chance
To witness what happened to me

And I danced and I pranced and I sang with them
All had death in their eyes
Lifeless figures they were undead all of them
They had ascended from hell

As I danced with the dead
My free spirit was laughing and howling down at me
Below my undead body
Just danced the circle of dead

Until the time came to reunite us both
My spirit came back down to me
I didn't know if I was alive or dead
As the others all joined in with me

By luck then a skirmish started
And took the attention away from me
When they took their gaze from me
Was the moment that I fled

I ran like hell faster than the wind
But behind I did not glance
One thing that I did not dare
Was to look just straight ahead

When you know that your time has come around
You know you'll be prepared for it
Say your last goodbyes to everyone
Drink and say a prayer for it

When you're lying in your sleep, when you're lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the dead
When you're lying in your sleep, when you're lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the dead

To this day I guess I'll never know
Just why they let me go
But I'll never go dancing no more
'Til I dance with the dead

Recharged

Last week was filled with stress, work, disappointment and I couldn't care less. Saturday night was worth the wait. At 5:30 pm I realize there was no water(again) so I had to picked all the tools for the tune up and drove to my mother's house to take a bath. Drove to work so I could park in a safe place and took the "Tren Urbano" to the Choliseo(local stadium). It was my first time to that place and I was pleasantly surprise at the organization. Once inside well is a stadium, if you want to drink a piña colada $6.00, a can beer $5.00, only the powers that be know the prices for wine, cocktails and all the stuff I saw ppl drinking. At 9:23 pm the lights dim and the sound of "Funeral for a Friend" filled the stadium, this is where I got impress with the Choliseo the sound is fantastic. Wearing a red shirt, a long black coat, with a drawing on the back of the coat of himself sitting in a rocket to the moon Sir Elton John entered the stage and performed "Love, Lies, Bleeding" after that nothing else mattered. I was in a place where nothing could reach me except for the sound of tha master pianist and his voice. Rocket Man, Candle in the Wind, Burn down the Mission, Sorry since ti be the hardest word, The bitch is back, Saturday, I'm still standing, and so many more gave me all my money's worth. Not only did he performed outstanding but we added some arrangement that made old songs not so old. After 2 hours and 20 minutes of none stop music he said farewell and I have and more accomplishment in my life.

a new face

After so long and meaningless nights I finally develop a new side that I did not knew I had it in me. It took me two days of manual labor, utilizing tools that I still do not know their names, buying things describing them with childlike precision...but it is done. I fix my master's bathroom toilet!!!!! and so I can say that I am officially a 0 level handyman. Of course I had a pool in the bathroom and I ran out of towels to keep the water check. I had to borrow tools since I do not have any! But all my cursing and winning paid off...I am not useless in house maintenance.
I had training the whole week for the may upgrade + working on final touches for the new facility + day to day crap + a flesh eating fungus, a little tire but no burn out.
I went to the dermatologist because I though that my perfume was giving me an allergic reaction but as soon as she saw me she told me it was "paño"(fungus). At least I know I can smell different again. She gave a cream(not cheap) and antibiotics(really cheap) and an appointment for 3 weeks. While I waited in the office this fruity lawyer(or so he claim) was making calls and discussing cases out loud. He was talking about drugs, assassinations, fugitives and he was driving everyone insane specially the old people that were getting freak by the conversation. Thankfully he made eye contact and could read my intentions.
I need to do house cleaning this weekend and hopefully rest, rest and rest.

Friday the 13th

If we did not have bad luck how could we have any luck? Enjoy or suffer the rest of the day, but whatevere you do please keep away from little leprachauns and pixies. With the visare thing I call life, today(so far) has been a lucky day. With (finally) good news at work and from the Contractor(yes he's still alive). Tonight a movie fest for me and myself.

Spring Break update

Last week I took a well deserve rest from work. I decided not to travel outside the island but instead do some local tourism. Since I am still a little laszy I havent download the pics form my camera so next time I will post some. I took Satyrday to clean the house+dogs+car. I went a little druid on the back yard and relocated some plants plus I bought two rose bushes to add some color to the barren landscape. Sunday I did a Closer marathon follow by a 24 mini marathon. On Monday I started my ride near Caguas, I went to Guavate and kept on driving till I reach a beautiful place with a stream, birds singing, cloudy day perfect to walk and enjoy the view. The only thing I regret was not having a book and nurishment so I could stay a little longer. The communion with Nature was great with no ppl around to bother or break the magic. Tuesday I went to Arecibo to La Cueva del Indio, I took a friend along so I wouldnt felt asleep. Getting there was half the fun and a nice ride since there was no traffic. The place is a huge rock near the coast where you can walk and go down to what look like a little cave. The waves crash constanlty and the sound, wind and sun where a refreshing experience. Tuesday I tried to go to a Mariposorio in Guayama. The road to get there is quiet and I was able to have a nice view of a factory and the coast. Once in Guayama the journey to get to the Mariposorio wasnt over since the place is in a barrio far away in the mountains, but once I arrive they were close, so I kept on driving to Ponce(just for the fun of it). Went to the typical places and headed back to Caguas. Wedsnday my cousin, his wife and their 5 children came to visit for a few days. Spend the afternoon with a friend in San Juan, Condado and Carolina then to my aunt's house to have some family time.
Thursday and Friday took it slow, I went to visit my mother, spend some time with my father and watch TV. I also went to see The Reaping on Friday, is an ok movie, predictable, linear but with good special effects so I guess it is made for America.
Saturday did some shopping and took a chance to eat some sea food, I am very allergic to everything sea related but I am using myself as a guinea pig for a experiment which I think is going well(at least I am still alive).
Sunday went to Las Cavernas de Camuy, wow, that is the only way to describe what I felt there. Is another world once you go down that road and the cold breeze touch your skin. I was took by surprise by all the images, I need to go back to really enjoy it.
The ranger in me is very happy at this moment. I needed it to go back to my simple self and enjoy my simplicity. Maybe I am not such a lost cause after all.

weekend??

Are Saturday and Sunday over? It seems like I have been in my office all these days, wait a minute I had!! On Friday night I received a call telling me there was an issue with the system. Since it was 10:40pm I knew no one was at the office eto solve the problem, so I had to drive from my house to the Institution. I was here until 1 am in the morning but I solve the problem. Saturday morning my employee called me to ask me another random stupid question, which piss me so much that I did not went back to sleep. I went to Denny's and eat like a pig for breakfast. Around 6:00 pm I get a called from work with another biggie. After a close encounter of the worse kind with the person who was supposed to be on call, I came down for another 2 hours of work. Sunday morning at 8:00 am another call woke me up. So I started my Sunday very early. Went in a frenzy cleaning mode, interrupted by the oh so annoying calls from work, since no one else called on Sunday. Now my nose hurts from all the hidden dust that went into my body. Hopefully the week will take a turn for the best.

friday 23

Wednesday was the birthday of the most amazing woman I know, my mother. I called her at 8:00am to wish her a happy day and many surprises on her day. Then I went to her house at mid day with a beautiful orchid that I bought her. She looked happy. SO with many greetings from family and friends she had a wonderful, retired birthday. I am returning to workaholic mode because of the big projects ahead. So lets see if the resolutions for this year do not go down the drain.
Meet a few nice ppl over the net, apparently I am more approachable when ppl do not get afraid of me lol. So for meeting and getting to know ppl I do recommend de net, beside being yourself and do not have any expectation what so ever about no one. People can surprise you if you give them the chance only problem is meeting ppl so far and apart but is worth the while. Now lets see if I can keep in touch.

What a week!!!

Last week was jigsaw of events and emotions. The week started with a Bang between my boss and the Administration. Finally the Administration is seeing through the web of lies and bad judgement that sums up my boss. They are double checking every word he said and questioning every move he had made. Hopefully this means a change in the way things are running around here. After that the scope of the word I have to do between now and may was revealed to me. There is a lot to do so we can comply to some Federal changes that are due on may. Thanks to, guess who?, my boss we are a little late and behind schedule on that.
On Wednesday I was blessed(yes I said BLESSED) to meet a little kender call Joshua. He is supposed to be a 5 years old kid but actually he must be a 250 years old kender. He was born with his legs cross and had been to surgery four times to correct the problem. Now he walks with the help of a walker. This will be his fifth operation and the last one, hopefully. The kid has a positive attitude that could teach a lot of us the stop wining. He is being raise by his grandparents, which he calls mom and dad, since his birth mother did not want to deal with the situation and his father die. He lifted the spirit of everyone in that waiting room and made cry a few older woman with his spirit an cunning. The only thing that bother me was that he is in a Special Education room because of his legs...the kid has a brilliant and fast mind, anyone that take the time to spend five minutes with him can see that, what is wrong with our Department of Education...Why every handicap persons is automatically assume to have mental disabilities? ppl start doing your job and stop treating handicap persons like a mob. Anyway hope I can see Joshua's father running after him one day.
Went to see 300 nice cinematography, great special effects and awesome bodies everywhere. For me, much better than Sin City. Even though you know how is going to end you can't help but wanting to end different. A must see for every fan out there. I also saw to trailers that caught my attention Pathfinder is a story based on vikings against native Americans and the next install of Resident Evil, something very wrong happened in Las vegas.

Back from the undead

Last week I got an infection that brought me down for a well deserved rest. If it was not for the constant shivering, fever and not eating it would have been a pleasant time. Thanks to a very well manner doctor I was able to get out of that state quite fast. Lost 5 pounds and one week of gym...which means one week of getting back to where I was. Thanks to those who called, sometimes I need a reminder of who cares.
Mother in Super mom mode...went to my house and did an Enriquesta cleaning on the house. Father in whatever state he gets that he called almost everyday, almost. Doggies bitching since I am not spending as much time as they are used to with them.
Rented The Covenan+ not even worth it if you are sick. Good ideas bad, bad, bad execution. You cant base a movie in special effects no matter what Episodes 1 -3 tell you. I rather watch 2 hours of Charmed reruns than this movie again. Saw "Stick it" it was on cable and I was bored enough to watch it...if you are bore and is a free movie not that bad. Nothing great but at least it helps pass time. Is a parody of the gymnastic world, it has it moments.
Back to the real world.

Believe it or not

Yes I am posting on a Saturday because The only employee that I have on Saturday called me at 6:45am telling me she was sick and could not make it to work...Who am I supposed to call at that time to tell them to get to work at 8:00 am. Did I mention that her free days are Sunday and Monday...things that make you go hmmm.Anyway the morning was quite interesting with bug to clean from one of the programs and then some random users paraphernalia. The rest of the afternoon, well down hill. At least I was able to burn some cd and do some need it ebay surfing. The Dr is acting kind of crazy this days(crazier than usual) and the Mc I hope don't get any ideas. Is it so hard to understand that what I say IS what I mean? Why do ppl have to asked the same thing over again like I was kidding the first 20 times. I AM NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!!! In fact I am so simple that ppl get confused. Is not my fault...is the others' guys fault.
No I am hearing noises in the department and I am the only one here...shadows too...I will call it a day now.

another Friday

One busy week at work. Calls, complains, brainless mass of meat, the usual. Taking care of my new babies, trying not to get too attach...doing a miserable job at that. Playing with them, getting down and dirty(what would the High elves think?). The albino one I think is kind of blind and wasn't eating properly so I am manually feeding him twice a day, this morning he looked in much better shape, hopefully he is out of danger. The mother fucker of the guy that still ha vent finish the work at home called me to telling me to drop everything because he will eventually get the job done...who the hell does he think I am. Like I am going to be so stupid to drop the case. Getting tired of many satellites in my life, trying to reform the ruins of my existence, not ad easy task but brick by brick.

Friday not the 13th

Friday is here and I am ready for it. After a drama week at the office the Devils' advocate came to the surface and I am at the top again. Let the infirior beings run and tremble from the shadow the my presence impose. Still trying to get out of a gun point date, but I know I can crush even the more oblivious.
Is interesting the ppl you meet when you gice them a chance. This week I have meet 3 guys that like a lot of the same stuff I like:metal, anime, rpgs, video games, Heroes! It has been quite easy for us to get along and talk for hours. Which means my bread is out there but apparently we are all inside our houses lol Will try to keep in touch with them, who knows maybe I can still make new friends.

Happy Valentine

your dragon self (stunning pics and detailed results)

You Are A Red Dragon, and, sorry to say, but this is bad! You are capricious, umpridictable, and greedy. You would travel very long distances to enlarge your treasure, and you would remember evry little coin and artifact in your loot. You live in caverns in hight moutains and consider anythings over 100km around your nest as your propriety. You hate humans and attack them as soon as they get in your sight. You will destroy and plunder the villages located on your territory and order the sacrifice of a virgin . You are are very fierce and cruel, but if a human gets to gain your trust(and if you didn't roast him before), you will be the best ally possible. You don't use a lot of magic, you are very smart and you breath fire.stone: rubyquote:"I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry" from Maxine Waters,you control: fire
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mini vacations

Finally I was able to relax and more important sleep. This past weekend I decided to do nothing, and nothing...more or less I did(or did not). My weekend started on Friday since my boss did not appeared to work. I took the day to catch up with my emails and sites that I have not touch in quite a while. Talk to a few ppl at work(yes this is a weird year) I even got an early Valentines invitation, someone was trying to get head start, lol. Got home and let the bartender loose. Prepare 2 or 3 margaritas or bombs and called it a night. Saturday was a photo shoot with the pack...pictures will come later. Played with them almost all morning until I think they got sick of me. Played Suikoden 2 for most of the afternoon and watch AnimeNetwork the rest of the day. Saturday night is a blurr I just know I stay home and fall asleep. Sunday received a call from V she sounded like she was having a good time, good for her and her hubby. I was tired of being in my house so I took the Ghoul and went to burn some gas. I ended up in a nice place called Don Jose in Aguas Buenas, I think, is a mix of a "lechonera" and restaurant. Very typical place with a wonderful old fashion chandelier, forgot the camera sorry, many antiques pieces around gave quite a nice atmosphere. The service was ok I will say because of the rush of ppl that appear suddenly. I will go back so I can recorded and to give it a second chance at service.

Feels good to be enjoying myself, not that perverts!, but to be able to breath fresh air once in a while. Specially after Xmas which I hit rock bottom. Need to work on that because each year gets worse. But for now the days are not so dark...unless I want them to be.

two down

Thursday was my selfish day off. Woke up went I felt like it, took care of my babies and their babies. Did some cleaning around the house and just played the whole afternoon. Forgot to do grocery shopping so I settle for Chinese to go. Friday was a busy morning then took off to Aguadilla to pick V's wedding cakes...there were cars on top cars the whole way thru. I really want it to stop in Arecibo's lighthouse along the way but hey it was getting late. After a looooong journey to Mayaguez the quest to find shelter begun. For some reason a disconnected the fact that the Candelaria and Fiestas Patronales were the same thing. Found shelter in the last place I check and went to deliver the goodies. What can be describe as a Martha Steward moment a bunch of hands were doing many finishing touches to some V' s ideas into the late hours. I just went to the hotel and crash. I was pissed because the TV was put but then again I was so tired I couldn't have watch it even if it was ok. Did not have a good nigth sleep the fucking AC didn't work as one should expect so I was getting hot or cold the whole night. Got out early morning to see if I could see some old friends from Colegio, only saw one. We talk a while and went down...way down memory lane. After accepting the fate that I was chofer/butler/doormat went to find the elusive white socks...don't ask. Took Anthony and the cakes to church went back to pick V and delivered her to church. I had close encounters of the very weird kind in church. After Sara arrive the ceremony began. It was a simple nice ceremony. The priest looks like a cool guy, no wonder the beverage(VA=V8, never mind) like to go there so much. After the ceremony then all hell got loose. Why do I like to have a plan? because I like to know what is going to happen and be prepare for it. Why didn't I ate lunch? because I was going to stuff myself with meat(...you know what I mean). It was a good act of V's father to invited them to dinner it was a bad execution the rest. After the awkward dinner was over we went back to the aunties so they could finished packing. Since Joe was in Mayaguez for the wedding I gave him a ride to SJ...you want to know something he is the best co-pilot ever!!! I was afraid I might fall asleep driving but thanks to him I was alert must of the trip. Arrive home at 1:30am they had to be at the airport at 7:00 am...I wen to sleep and opened my eyes at 6:55am...drove them to the airport in chofer mood again, it was Sunday so they got there on time...hopefully. Ate a five meat sandwich and went home to sleep until 2:00 pm Since I didn't do the groceries, I think I ate care for dinner. Monday was a busy day catching up on 3 days off and trying to finish some details at work. The highlight of the day Heroes I am hook with that series/soap opera. Tuesday will be the day to visit the parents. I cant say I have been bored.

last day on January

A very busy week at work lots of projects and a blackout on the main center was enough to have me running yesterday like a mouse in a cat party. Still trying to get used to some changes at the office and the all mighty incompetent boss...is hard to be me in an imperfect world.
The first month is gone already? That was fast, it seems as if as you get older the years go faster.
People a condom is cheaper than any treatment or ailment so why don't you used it? I will hate to have to give support to someone that got sick for been stupid. I can be a very good friend but I am blunt as a giant. Is not just the moment is your whole life and maybe someone else life that you are playing with. Have all the fun you want, I am up for that, but be safe about it OK!
There is also a lot of places you can go and get tested for free for HIV and STD go so at least you can know for sure.Anything treated on time can lead to better way of life.

One down, one to go

Last week was a busy one. On top of my normal load of work I was given 5 new projects, 2 which have a deadline of February 9, 2007 the other due on march...be careful what you wish for. My boss reassign the Help Desk to another person. I felt bad at first then decided to let it go less stress for me..but then the Coordinator had a meeting with me and my boss to explain her plans for the new year and all she did what talk dirt about the HD and her supervisor(ME!) it almost made me forget my resolution but I just put her in her place with my natural ability to be sarcastic and proper :) So one less thing for me to worry at work now the HD is on her own with her Coordinator. I work overtime to get some bugs fix which off course no one took care during my vacations. But actually I am back to enjoying getting to the office, and all it took was one quick resolution.
Also following with the list of things I should not put off I call a friend which I had deleted from my circle. He is an ok guy it just that sometimes I can be a little bastard and ppl don't get it. Is not that I am evil(which I am not denying either) is just that I see things differently. Next step is trying to get close to my blood related family...still wondering if it is even worth a try. Luckily for me I have two branches to reach I just need the continuity to grap one. Is that or lose all contact with blood once my mom and dad pass away.
On Saturday was Sony and Tony 's (it sound like a merengue group)weeding. I was the official Best Man. The priest knew them and he was able to deliver a service really custom made for the family. Not many ppl went to the church they appear at the reception(why??) Finally I meet friends of Sony that I have heard for years and didn't knew...and all night I kept on hearing:"where is the famous Quevedo?" The highlight of the ceremony...the Photographer. What a freaking character, at least noone will be serious in the pictures. The important thing was they look happy.
Sunday drove to Aguadilla to meet the A and V(beverage anyone?) for the cake. I decided to eat so I wouldnt get sugar crazy over cakes...didn't work. After taking the loooooooong way to get there and a called to the surfer dude we reach our destination. The surfer was useless so we have to wait until today to find out about the deal. But we did get some tasting...one I got 2 pieces of cake and one 3 leches...sugar rush. Took the long way to get home did some site seeing with the light that was available, forgot the camera, my bad. Got home and was able to watch 45 minutes of tv before collapsing.
Today got to work at 6:30am...and I have nothing more to say

Ghost Week

So back to the office has been quite interesting...many changes plans(which I don't know if they will come true)...ppl attitude much better than last year(watching my back for hidden knives)...boss still the same useless piece(dah!). Also this week phantom of the past are reappearing for an encore or something. Lets call her the Editor...she was a maelstrom in the middle of a boring cruise. Good talker, nice listener, intelligent...the bad part too clingy, too fast, too soon. She reappear on Monday asking, talking, talking and talking. Guess she need it some positive feedback or something. Also on Monday a got a message from, lets call her Energiser Bunny...she was a spark of electricity. Funny and easy going...but a nut case. She was hinting on old emotions and experience which I didn't remember or didn't felt the same way about it. On Tuesday the guys from Ponce call to ask if I had plans to try to get the campaign going this year, WHAT THE FUCK!!!! No "hi. how you being? How you doing?" so I politely told them NO. Yesterday got an email form an friend that is living on the State which I ha vent heard for almost 2 years now. Maybe this is the year to reach and touch someone(lets rephrase that). Maybe someone is telling me to make an effort to reconnect with ppl I took for granted and they are a lot. I want to have some ppl around to do stuff, not close friends but at least options to be able to go out or invite home.

Out of the 9th Gate of Hell

I'm still alive
Must have been a miracle
It's been a hell of ride
Destination still unknown
It's a fact of life:
If you make one wrong move with the gun to your head
You better walk the line or you'll be left for dead

I'm a runaway train on broken track
I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
As long as I got blood rush trough my veins
I'm still alive

Lost in the night
Feeling so invisible
Oh, a dead man walking the wire
I have broke the devils net
That's made of fire
And it's a long way down from the top of the world
You better look around or you gonna get burned

I'm a runaway train on broken track
I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
And as the dust wheels look in my eyes
I'm still alive
I'm still alive

The darkest night ain't black enough
To keep the morning light from shinin'
The highest wall ain't tall enough
To keep the smallest man from climbin'

The more that you resist the tide
The more it pulls you in
The more you hang on for your life

(I'm a runaway train on broken track)
(I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time)
(that's right)
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive

I'm a runaway train on broken track
I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
And if my saddle is all that survives
I'm still alive
I'm still alive...


Well that can sum up how I feel today. Xmas/New year thanks God is over and done. I was in a bottomless pit for most of the holidays and I wont go into details but thanks to the ppl that help me get through it. Basically I got a deserving rest that refull my body and soul. I think I was able to reach one of my goals which was to reconnect with my inner kender. Problem is that kenders can be a ray of sunshine when they are happy but a drill in the head when they are sad...not easy being me. At least the new year will be fill with new beginnings my two best friends are getting marry, Heroes and Rome new seasons, new resolutions(ones I think I can keep) and hope...yes I said hope...will see

Black Monday

I guess Xmas is here because I got the rain last night. Out of nowhere without any type of sign the train hit me fast and hard. I was just looking at the fucking like a virgin xmas tree and all damn things I keep inside came rushing out...so frustrating to have so much and feel so little. My head hurts like daylight, dont know if it is the wine, the crying or the migrane...oh God let it be migrane so I have an excuse to lock myself during the holidays. I dont think I hate xmas but I dont love them either. yes I know the our savior was born but why do ppl have to act like they are in Plesantville, if you are not in a merry mood, fake it? I will try to stop the bashing until january at least. Hopefully I will be in a better mood once the vac. get start. Thanks V for allways being a big ear
We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose..

And we all know frosty who's made out of snow..

But all of those stories seem kind of, Gay..

Cos we all know who brightens up our holiday..



Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo

Small and Brown, he comes from you

Sit on the toilet, here he comes

Squeeze him tween your festive buns!

A present from down below

Speading joy with a 'howdy ho'!

He's seen the love inside of you

Cos he's a piece of poo!



Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny

He can be brown, or greenish-brown

But if you eat fibre on Christmas Eve

He might come to your town..

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo

He loves me, I love you

Therefore vicariously, he loves you

'I can make a Mr Hankey too'!



Cartman: 'Well Kyle, where is he?'

Kyle: 'Uh, he's coming..'

Stan: 'Come on dude, Push!'

Kyle: 'I'm trying'

Cartman: 'Wait Wait! I can see his head'

Kyle: 'Here he comes..'

Mr Hankey: 'HOWDY HO!'



I'm Mr Hankey, the Christmas poo..

Seasons greetings to all of you..

Lets sing songs, and dance, and play..

Now, before I melt away..

Here's a game I like to play..

Stick me in your mouth and try to say..

'Howdy ho ho, yum yum yum

Christmas time has come!'



Sometimes he's runny, sometimes he's firm

Sometimes he practically water..

Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass

And wont fall in the toilet,

cos he's just clinging to your sphincter

And he wont drop off, and so you shake your ass around..

And try to get it to drop in the toilet

And finally it does..



Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo

Christmas leaves, he must leave too..

Flush him down, but he's never gone,

His smell and his spirit lingers on.

Howdy ho!


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just one more week

One more week before my vacations finally arrive. I just need to survive 5 working days and I am out of here until Jan. Trying to keep a little hope in humanity for the rest of the year since there is only 16 days to go, I think I can manage. At least I have not get depress this season, that is something nice. Not in a merry mood either but hey I have to be me. Have a few home projects ahead lets see if I finally get them done. I just found this on youtube and it made me feel all fuzzy inside enjoy

Two more weeks

My weekend can be summarize as a trouble free one. Friday night was just me my margaritas and TV. Went early to sleep...Really early. Woke up at 7 something am with the rush to do the garden so I did it. Took me less than I expected but I will need to give it TLC for it to get where is suppose to be. I might relocate the cactus so I can be more creative on the front...Xtmas project anyone? Decided to go gas burning so I feed all my animals and took off. Went to Cayey not much to see there, kept going south and found a nice bakery with many, many, many sweets I like but only took 3 cheescake, corn muffin and "quesito". Kept on driving pass Ponce because I wanted to take some pics at an old factory I also like..But on my overly spontaneous outburst forgot the cam >< oh well. Call V and Anthony to see if I was able to deliver a long overdue visit luckly I catch them. Ate more sweet with them(yes I was in a very good mood). Actually had to cut my visit short because it was a big day for Anthony and didnt want to be the third wheel(sorry but I wont trade places je,je,je). Since I didnt want to go the northen route decided to go back the same way. Javi called and he was in Ponce so I ended up entering the town to talk with him for a while when I was there Will called crying because a friend has die. So we did everything we could to calm him down. Since that was not working I took my Ghoul to Carolina to see if he was ok. After making sure he was ok and with food in his belly I went home. Aparently I do have a network of ppl cause they were calling thanking for making sure Will was ok...they could have done the same thing but...
Sunday was supposed to be the day the lights were going to be put...but decided to wash the black and reorganize the aquariums. Then some random conversations and in the evening finally took the lights and tested them...all of them in perfect order. So today if nothing distract me I will put the Xmat decor. Maybe I will put something in the front yard not sure what yet.

Days go by and sometimes I feel like I was abducted by aliens. Weekends come and go and for some reason they pass without leaving any residue..hmmm Almos one week to the deadline the contractor has to finish the job and very little had been done...guess I see myself in court again in January. Can not wait for my vacations to arrive need to rot with a purpose, just stay in bed a few cold mornings feeling, make the cave my own one more time. Maybe plan a gathering or two, spend afternoons with my pack...just breath a little.
New cast member: Lou
First appearance: the net
Special abilities: entertaiment center, wits, blunt
WHY?: been thru Hell and still find the posite side of life
Relevance: Fresh air
Purpose: to be find out

Look at them now
What do they want?
And what do they do now?
Nothing at all!

What do they know?
What do they think?
And who do they tell?
Well, no one at all!

Lives are truely meaningless
And we are busy being blessed

With that we can take and pocket
No one needs to know
We're is the plug and they're the socket
Give us the juice and we'll go

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the animals sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!

How do they sleep?
Their lives are so tart
Bring me the trash collectors
'Cause they're nothing but trash

What do you expect?
They've got no standards
So we lower the bar
'Cause they're waiting for us

We'll open up Pandora's Box
Pandora gave her keys and locks

They're the big dogs waiting for their mother
Come to the confessional
So I can tell you all to bugger off
There's no time like now!

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the animals sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the market-place sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king...

And we'll do it our way
It's our time to play
We know what to say
They stand in our way
Don't stand in our way
No time like today...

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the anthems we sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the animals sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the chosen ones sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king...

MEAT LOAF - "In The Land Of The Pigs (The Butcher Is King)"

Dancing Penguins

This weekend was my so dreaded house cleansing...time to get rid of all the stuff that doesnt mean a thing but I still carried around. Letters, cards, pictures, papers(lots of them), books and many little things that had been kept for no special reason. I felt like I was trap in a gnomish contraption. I decided to work in multiple task since I couldnt finish one without another been in process...leave it to me to make a rollercoaster of cleaning a house. Sunday took the day to myself: prepared a fit for a King breakfast, watched cartoons in bed, fall asleep, wake up and went to see Happy Feet...maybe it was the alergy medicne but I laught a lot during the movie...then took myself to eat at Maccaroni Grill. Then to end the day went home took a bath and went to bed...then I realize the dogs havent eatten so got out of bed spend one hour feeding them took another shower and then went to sleep. I forgot that today is a Holiday here so I got up at 5am no cars in the highway showed me the errors of waking up so early so I arrive like 6:30 am to my office where I am sitting now writting this.

A House is not a Home

Oh well another Monday morning trying to get up to date with my so called life...Still in the finishing stage of the big fucking project I have been running the past 9 days. Hopefully I will be done by tomorrow...FINALLY. But my day to day is a little falling behind and I guess I will be catching up a few more days.
For some reason I am loking at places to by in San Juan and Rio Piedras. I am begining to enjoy my solitude but there is so much more I wanted to do with a house and although I think I live only 25 minutes from SJ(which I do) ppl think that is to far away and I kind of want to be a host more often.
Spend the whole weekend doing xmast cleaning...and still will be cleaning for the rest of the week. Why, oh why do I have so much crap in my house? Is only me, isn't? Whatever I decide to do I need my pack with me:Kalisto, Dimitri, Tarja(not mine, or is she?) They are the highlight of my day even if arrive tired playing with them relaxes me as much as going to the gym.
Almost 11am time to start the show...

Working 10 to 12 hours a day to finish a project has been quite fun. Changing the strategies to deal with the ppl I supervise, great idea. Have seen a difference in their attitude or maybe I am getting better at this. Boss=pig no more to say there. Sucks to go to interviews to find out they pay a misery, oh well.
New meaning to the word LIFE: Do not take for granted the little things that surround you.
Next year is the year of the Godfather...more on that later
My dream house was sold last week...it wasnt meant to be
lasy blog just to let ppl know I am well and alive

Darkness

No, it isn't that I am back into depression is that all I could stand for the past 2 days was darkness. My migraine took a turn for the lets fuck your brains until you bleed. Then after it was bleeding decided to cast a regeneration/fireball/permanency loop combo that shut me down for quite a while. Even the werewolfs notice since they behave when I went to fed them. Actually I think I heard them cry last night...will make time to pamper them this weekend.
Quick recap:
In the freak show that I call life. I am the ring master, always in the center, directing, entertaining, making everyone welcome, in the spot light, always with an inviting smile, surrounding by freaks I call family and expectators...but always alone in the center. I am bless to be appreciate by the ppl I am and all of them know(or at least I hope they know) how important they are in my life, but...there is always a but, I need to feel what some feel around me. I want to rest and know that someone is watching my sleep at least for a few minutes. I need to feel the fire burning in my chest with only a spoken word. I want to explore the bottomless pit knowing there is a light waiting for me at home...
There are jobs opportunities out there 2 to be exact, dont know if this is the right time or if they are the right jobs. Dont want to mess the masters or maybe I do...
Might go to jail if the F***ing contractor does not make an apperaing act...
really need to get the counseling/psi office up an running...much later
Thankgiving week screw due to my boss getting eye surgery...and plastic surgery, think I could convincethe doc to sew his eyelids?
Falling in love with some new lyrics+sounds(about time)
...some one once send me a message that I still keep everywhere, I think it summaries who I am...
If you ever feel like crying call me I dont promise to make you laught but I can cry with you
If you one day feel like not hearing anyone call me I promise to be very still
But if one day you call and I dont answer
come to my rescue maybe I need you

R

Almost getting there

Last night I got home stared the ritual of doggies, got wet since apparently was raining the whole day. I got the feeling they just wanted me to get sucking wet, even Kalisto was jumping on me instead of waiting for me to pamper her. After ending smelling like a wet dog, took a bath and went to the msn to see if my class mates had received the info I send them. For my surprise the Kender of my life was there, it had been almost 2 years since last we spoke(mostly my part I think), out of surprise I send a "Hi"...She answer back and we end up writhing/reading for almost one hour. It was like it was yesterday we had talk last. No ackwarness or hard feelings just a friendly conversation with the sassiness I expect from her but hidden agenda. After agreeing to not disappear from each other life we said goodbye. No sadness or feeling "what if?" just a plain exchange of words with a friend. Maybe that is all I need more ppl that are REALLY my friends. So maybe I will start the Get Reacquainted Crusade and get a hold of ppl that for some reason I let go.
Work...Why bother
Mother getting the 100,000 miles tuneup and a lot of things are getting out hope she will get good news when she gets out of the garage.
Father is in HYSTERICAL mode with the little men.

Master of puppets

I realize a few minutes ago that today is Wednesday...Wednesday...WTF!!!!! It seems that I have been working/studying for 5 days already. My mind is every where and now where. Need to read/review/prepare paper for 6 chapters, start working on final presentation that for this class is one individual and one group, big papa left the class due to medical conditions both his and wife, closing fiscal year got mess up thank to the BEST person I have in my charge(not ironic), emergency room project got me staying here until late last night and early this morning, have 3 due dates this week (why do I even bother to have a scheduler :P) and is only Wednesday. Not that I am looking forward the weekend since I HAVE to do the lawn >:( , watch dogs/cars(actually both together would be fun).
...Of course this means I am having a great time...
Esther...Or "I felt in love because you say hi" as I like to call her is in a psycho mood because I NEVER GAVE HER A CHANCE...wtf!---Morale:never talk/help ppl in distress better to let them disappear.
I will probably buy an AC to use on Sundays and that would be my day off. Just in my room playing video games and no contact with the outside world what so ever...hmm there is an interesting idea.
The plans for Orlando seems to be going down the drain sin Sony haven't confirm anything yet so I am looking for a cheap trip to do on November.

Sick

This time I am not sick of life or work I am plain vanilla SICK. Body aches, soar throat, running nose, sneezing, coughing and I think fever...Am I hallucinating? Left early yesterday from work got home no puppies or anything went straight to bed. Sleep until Almost 8 I think. The dogs were pounding at the window, yes they can do that, so I went to feed them, took a bath and went back to bed. Today came to work because I need to finish some things from college but depending on my mood/health I will leave early...
Being the Joda that I am no about the weekend past write I will, hmmm...

On Friday I got a call from Esther apparently I again overbook my schedule and I had forgot I told her we will go out that night. Told her I had two friends comings to my house and that I will have a raincheck on the date...I guess she is mad cause I haven't heard from her since. There was no way I was going to miss the witch/mage combo.Although they started their journey a little late I try not to go too deep into the Morpheum so I could hear the bells announcing their arrival. At almost 2am the wail of the banshee woke me up. After a few minutes of where the hell are you? The duo arrive at my haven. V is always a refreshing company I was a little esceptial about the mage since we haven't actually talk in years. Who knew? It was like we were in the floor of Chardon playing the old Ravenloft campaign. At least I didn't felt ackwa everything flew smoothly...A little too much since ewe end up going to bed at almost 4 am. Screw the ghoul tuneup.
Woke up...Is a mess here because even though I got up first they end up waiting for me. Got to Old San Juan and I have remember that no everyone likes to walk like me. So I made them walk from Doña Fela to la Plaza them to el Morro. The experience was incredible. The place could be in better shape but...Esto es Puerto Rico. The views, the chats and more walking lol I though V was going to melt at one point lol.
After that went to eat a HAMBURGER once again the duo kept the mood going :) Then made a mandatory stop for library(was closed), pet, moneyorder, and borders. Went home and send them or they marry(jejeje) way.
Great chemistry, love the way he treats her, love the way she looks at him I am happy for you both.
Sunday went to college to get some stuff I was suppose to do on Saturday. My boss called asking me ifIi had my employees home numbers so I could tell someone to com early...WTF on a Sunday morning no way Jose. No emergency just hisparanoiacc self.
Monday went to court to try solve theissue with the f***ing contractor, he agree in front of the judge to be done by December 15 2006..We'lll see.too much drama at work but guess what not about me YEYYYYYYY. Finally I am not part of the drama.College at night ahhh yeah I enjoy my group of collegebodiess and classes so what. I learn more of the ppl than of the class that day. And Tuesday I already wrote :P
The moral of the story is that everyone seems to be happy in our onw worlds and ways. Let the goodtimes role,

after b-day

33 yes the age of Christ....am I supposed to die now? Oh well I did have a great weekend: Friday I had a meeting wth my college buddies to discuss the final presentation on Chillis' between the margaritas and the smoking fajitas we got the job done. After went to meet some friends at the old Chit-Chat to play dominoes and have a drink. Saturday morning spend almost the whole mid day with my Mom buying a "bed in a sack" oh well, many calls to congratz 2 missing in action, you know who you are, and one special message that almost made me cry. It wasnt a happy birthday wish it was more of al the reasons I appreciate your friendship through all this years, many thanks. Saturday night had a date/hangout thingie not much to say but the food was ok :P Sunday treat myself to a great breakfast then to meet my father for brunch which turn out to be dinner 5 hours later...I get really pis when I am hungry...but after all the waiting ny younger brither was able to eat with us so it turns out be a night of open heart family bounding...Spend most of the monday finishing my solo project to my first masters class got an A , thank you very much, and I might have done some frienships in he meanwhile...still have 3 inviations for dinner and friends comming home this weekend. Gifts HELL YEAH! My gifts will be deliver as they come.
Got a phone call from the contractor he is supposed to be working at the moment in my house anyway we have a date in court on monday...
Work..NO COMMENTS

B-week

I am turning 33 this saturday, just another year hoping to get what I know I deserve...Not much plan, I have like 3 open invitations ...not bad compare to last year. I have been worring of having nothing to worry about...I know I need help. I am in a very good place inside and out. But this sensation of calmness in a little disturbing to be honest. I am getting paranoid waiting for "what will happen?" "when it will happen?". I feel like I need to be in a High note all the time to not think about the ifs...but my mind works in every direction...past, present, future(NO ppl I cant give you the loto numbers) But playing with possibilities is tiresome but fun. love/company/sex/laughter/support/compassion/understanding these are a few of the things I give/request from the person at my side...I have settle from time to time...thanks to my Logical Chip that I have to turn ON everytime. stability/safe/noleash/trust/confiability/tolerance these are the things I have settle for.
Need to feel alive from time to time. want to smile for a little longer.

Things do to this week:

Annoyed co-workers check
make boss look like a fool check
run office as I see fit check
do garden pospone until further notice
see finale of who want to be a superhero tonight
get migraine check
get piss hmmm....weird....nothing...hmmm

am I evil?

To watch the beast fall from the top up the mountain...nice
To be the one that push it...great
To be the one that build the mountain form which everything occurs...geniuos
To get the seat the beast left vacant...evil

No morals just the desire to inflict onto others what they have done to you.
The cheer joy of looking into the eyes of despair and defeit.
The sweet extasis of an enymies failure.
The Silence that Victory brings.


Passages from The Book of Storms by Coriolis


Today Coriolis rules the mind...not a bad thing. That means I am enjoying myself...maybe a little too much. If everthing falls into place I will decifer. If not let the riddles spin out of control. NOT ON DRUGS PPL.
Havent finninsh my first class nad already have the assignment for the first class of next course...:P I am loving it. Havent feel tired yet, havent done the garden yet, havent finish Suikode III yet, hevent receive Suikoden II yet...and yet I feel happy and more or less at peace. I have something in my life that gives me peace and rage. Weird, unhealthy, desperate, maybe...but what else a emotinal Agoraphobian like me could survive. Still the one emotion I want the most is not there as much as I want it to...hmmm Well you gice and you take. So far it has been a bumpy ride and I am still there...weirder.

This has been one of the weirdest week in a long time. Everyone in my circle is HAPPY yep actually smillling and laughing. I think this is the first time that this has happen in a very loooong time. I have a running joke that me and my friends are in a see saw one up another down but it appears we are all upo at the moment...or is it that I am on my way down...hmmm
Been very busy with college stuff still trying to get used to the idea I HAVE to work in groups. Besides that I think I could manange 2 classes but I will try to lissen to Viv and to not get compulsive about it. With the work experience I have at the moment I really enjoy the class dynamic, no competive behavior. We are learning from the proffesor and each other. Is a merge of ideas and concepts without envy or backstabbing. And ppl actually apreciated you if you make an intelligent comment. Why the real life has to be such a cut troat enviroment?

I Go To Extremes
Billy Joel

Call me a joker, call me a fool
Right at this moment I'm totally cool
Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife
I feel like I'm in the prime of my life
Sometimes it feels like I'm going too fast
I don't know how long this feeling will last
Maybe it's only tonight

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It's all or nothing at all
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

Sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I'm shot
Sometimes I don't know how much more I've got
Maybe I'm headed over the hill
Maybe I've set myself up for the kill
Tell me how much do you think you can take
Until the heart in you is starting to break?
Sometimes it feels like it will

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
You can be sure when I'm gone
I won't be out there too long
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

Out of the darkness, into the light
Leaving the scene of the crime
Either I'm wrong or I'm perfectly right every time
Sometimes I lie awake, night after night
Coming apart at the seams
Eager to please, ready to fight
Why do I go to extremes?

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It's all or nothing at all
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
No I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
You can be sure when I'm gone
I won't be out there too long
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

Finally decided to get something here...as usual I will start ranting and lets hope we get somewhere...
I have feel great lately...guess that the reason I havent been here...I have found time to breath and be myself. I went and started my masters, they only gave me one class hopefully I will be able to get to classes for the next period cause I feel like I ma walking on the park. The policy of this college required to work on groups...WHAT? I will deal with it one class at a time.
My bitch gave birth...saddly the pups came sick so as yesterday none survive, now I am giving therapy to my manipulativer bitch so she can go on woth her life...she is really sad been crying a lot. Hope she doesnt commit suicide.
FINALLY went to Mayaguez to see Miss V house...great view love what she is doing with the place. She will have many little projects but I know she is up to it...if the money arrives lol.
Work..the only constant in my life...my boss sucks and apparently really good cause he still here with the nonjob he is doing. My co-workers well I am begin to feel like an island separeted from everyone. People only come to me when they need something or maybe is that since the incident with MV i have been avoiding too much contact with ppl. I decided to manage myself since my boss doesnt, I am deciding the projects I take and wich I am not capacitaded to to :P
Taking to some friends trying to get to know a few ppl not a social whore but a social creature.

Hello!!!

On the looong journey to discovery...still like RPGs, love sci-fi movies, series(getting back to Scifi Channel), fantasy novels(trying to finish one before going back to study), dogs, behaving like a dog, playing with dogs...get the idea? talking to ppl that like to talk back, music...I am trying to let a few persons into my circle of friends but I didnt knew how lasy I was at keeping in touch with ppl or maybe is that they bore me to death. The only speed dial of my life is V, Sony, Angel beside that i get sidetrack at calling back.
Managing a relationship and trying to enjoy myself...well is a pain in the neck. I love to be by myself doing nothing...that idea is out of the door when someone is around. I am always right, that is an Universal Truth...why is so hard to accept? :P,NOONE do something for nothing no matter how much they said they do, I have to deal with it. Fireworks only come on the 4th of july and new years eve everything else is just another monday.

Six o'clock already I was just in the middle of a dream
I was kissin' Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream
But I can't be late 'cause then I guess I just won't get paid
These are the days when you wish your bed was already made.

It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my Funday (oh-woe)
My I don't have to runday (oh)
It's just another manic Monday.

Have to catch an early train, got to be to work by nine
And if I had an air-o-plane, I still couldn't make it on time
'Cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I'm gonna wear
Blame it on the train but the boss is already there.

It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my Funday (oh-woe)
My I don't have to runday (oh)
It's just another manic Monday.

All of my nights why did my lover have to pick last night to get down (last night, last night)
Doesn't it matter that I have to feed the both of us, employment's down
He tells me in his bedroom voice:
"C'mon honey, let's go make some noise" (ba ba ba baaaa)
Time, it goes so fast (when you're having fun).

It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my Funday (oh-woe)
My I don't have to runday (woe)
It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my funday (oh)
It's just another manic Monday.





THE BANGLES - "Manic Monday"

....from out of space

Dont want to sound angry or piss all the time but that is my nature. Even when ppl are nice to me I have this dont approach me face that many dont get. Actually I think I only laught, not smile but LOL with only one person, wish she was closer but that is life. For those keeping score I bought a car thank you very much...if I have it with me for a month I will post a pic ok! Still dealing with crap at work(reason why I am piss almost all the time), there is someone in my life(dont want to go into details at the moment) the contractor is missing in action(para vairar) and I am trying to keep in touch with my "friends" more often...more on that later(maybe)

Viv, Sony, Wil, Angel these are the only numbers I know by heart
Angel2, Mamushka, Esther these are the one I am trying to know
Sara, George, Daniel these I need to make an effort
J.R., J.J. those I want to forget

Have:
Best Friend
House
Job
Car

Wants:
Disney vac.
Egypt Trip
Go Broadway hooping
Someone to share it with

Trade:
Job
House

Need:
Time/Space to enjoy life

**Just a brainstorm hopefully NOONE will think I will kill myself***

Live To Tell The Tale
Nightwish

A single grain can tip the scale
Amidst the burden the scale will prevail
Showing what`s worth being here
Storyteller by a hearth of stone
A white little creature purring me
My childhood kingdom gone in time
The islands filling my mind with blue
The one in speacial, heaven's court

All the joy unforgiven by this task

An errant soul, homeless and foul
All gone but the will to
Live to tell the tale

The days are filled with anxiety
Frustration, one right note a day
Where to find a perfect tune
Just do the work and take a step back

All the joy unforgiven by this task

An errant soul, homeless and foul
All gone but the will to
Live to tell the tale

Dark chambers of my mind
Locked around the neck of my love
None of you understand
And it doesn't matter
To a broken marionette like me

An errant soul, homeless and foul

An errant soul, homeless and foul
All gone but the will to
Live to tell the tale

Oh how I hate mykind
Have it all
Yet wish to die

Not mykind but the kind as you are
Saints in Cain's mask
I love you
I just did

long day ahead

I have been in the office since 5am I am suppose to be at a tainning from 8:30am tp 5:00pm WTF!!!! oh well. I cant count on No one in my department to do the things that need to be done but I can always count on:
The Airhead to do everyhting with her feet and be stupid
The Parrot to be blabing all over the place
The ghost that do a lot of noise but is ethereal
The monkey...well to act like one

If it wasnt for the fact that I actually act as my own boss I will run...let me check my loto ticket...someone is a millionaire but not me...ok back to the issue The benefict I get out of my possitions are the only thing keeping me here. If I could put a dollar amount to be able to do as I almost please, to have the recognition of ppl outside the dpt and to be able to be bitchy and ppl have to deal with it I might be able to go to an interview with an idea of how much $$$$ I want. My tolerance levels are non existent and working with children is not helping. So From now on I will treat ppl as they deserve...

NO CAR AT THE MOMENT...dont want to talk/write about it.

need to find an outlet for my anger because I think is getting out of hand...

new day

Let me start by saying that I am not taking any pills or other control drugs...for some reason the black cloud over my head had left and I see a bright day in front of me. I guess is true once you hit the bottom the only way is up. I do have many things I want to do with my life, and to do some I have to put on hold others, that is the difference. Is not that I am discarting, negleting or dismissing is just putting on hold. I have a life to finish as many degrees as I please and if I dont then I will go with the ones I have. So is not a matter of being pull in difrent direction is a matter of having MANY goals in life. Too many...so what, is better than going walking like an undead. I forgot that I used to have many goals and once I reached one there was another, apparently I didnt though about it after college and getting a house. I NEED a purpuse to wake up in the morning I want to be able to look forward to next week or next year. I am going to plan, I am going to write a new story with another set of twist and turns.

How Will I Laugh Tomorrow
ST

Here I sit and watch my world come crumbling down
I cry for help but no one's around
Silently screaming I bang my head against the wall
It seems like no one cares at all
Always an emotion, but how can I explain
How can I explain
Kind of like the scent of a rose
With words I can't explain
The same with my pain
Caught up in emotion-Goes over my head
Goes over my head
Sometimes I got to think to myself is this life or death
Am I living or am I dead
The clock keeps ticking but nothing else seems to change
Problems never solved, just rearranged
And when I think about all the times that I've had
So few good-So many bad
I search for personality and I look for things I can not see

Love and peace flash through my mind
Pain and hate are all I find
Find no hope in nothing new
Never had a dream come true
Lies and hate and agony
Thru my eyes that's all I see
If I'm gonna cry
Will you wipe away my tears?
If I'm gonna die
Lord please take away my fear
Before I drown in sorrow
Last thing that I'll say
How will I laugh tommorow
If I can't even smile today
Today today--when I can't even smile today
Today today--when I can't even smile today
How will I laugh tommorow--when I can't even smile today
How will I laugh tommorow--when I can't even smile today

Martes 13

First we have 060606 day now martes 13, I know for you northamerican is suppose to be Friday 13th but here in Latino land we beleive martes 13 is the bad luck day...why did I get out of my house? with the luck I am having lately I shouldn't take any risk. Anyway I did the summer cleaning of the House now if the weather permits I will do the garden this weekend. Finish FF X-2 not too trill about it the game kind of sucks compare to FF X. Maybe is me but the story lines are getting kind of borring. Will try to read more until August since I am meeting people that actually know something about literature. The only person I can talk about some intelectual stuff is Miss V or maybe she is the only person that gets me. Or maybe I am the only person that gets her who knows.

Don't Stop Being Crazy
Helloween

You're the one I would pick out in a million
You're the one I would wish for as the friend of my life (life)
If the whole world decided for a colour
Would pixels be any different in you (you)

Brave and smart against the rules
You smile upon the fools
I'll follow where you go
I want you to know

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy

When you walk you walk higher than the others
When you talk you talk merciless the bothering truth (truth)
Everyone seems remote-controlled nowadays
Only you have a frequency far beyond their ways (ways)

Still that strong you walk alone
Don't wonder where they're gone
I'll follow where you go
I want you to know

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy (crazy)

Still that strong you walk alone
Don't wonder where they're gone
I'll follow where you go
I want you to know

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy

06-06-06

Just in case this really was the D day I decided to go away again. I had a blast sleeping, eatting, bathing in the beach(I said BEACH). No shitting actually, for some reason my touchie likes it at home...err anyway. It was nice to get away from everything in a place were no one knows who you are. I got myself a nice tan also. Hopefully the felling will last a while. If not well I have plans of making more ME time along the year. I am really considering doing a masters/Ph in psycology. I can put all my mind tricks to a good use. I though about the lawyer thingie but do I really want to start building a firm at 35? The thing is I might have to wait until next year to do that so I can have a few payments ahead on the house. Also if things turn out my way I might go to Egypt or India ....OK Egypt but I want to go for at least 3 weeks so I can take my time to enjoy everything...just if.

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There's nothing left inside of here

And maybe you can cry all night
But that'll never change the way I feel
The snow is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn't make me leave here

I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long
I'm crying icicles instead of tears

And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you're looking for a ruby
In a mountain of rocks
But there ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding
At the bottom of a Cracker Jack box

I can't lie
I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not
No matter how I try
I'll never be able to give you something
Something that I just haven't got

There's only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many years ago
And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back, ooh I know
I remember how she left me on a stormy night
She kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her
Not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away

And she kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
She kep on telling me
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere

MEAT LOAF - "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad"
Jim Steinman-Writter

Some things I knew, some I didnt knew and somne things I just didnt wanted to know. I an letting the kender out more often it has been a while since he came so close to the surface. I havent realize how much I missed him.

Went to see The last stand on Friday...well, hmm, ahhh, if you dont mind the buffalos running free in North America or the Nazis rulling all over Europe or believing that the Davinci code is for real then you will love this movie. On the other hand if you beleive that a story should be told as it happens then run the other way. I know that for Hollywood you have to adapt some things to make them flashier(commercial) but I think they got out of hand with this one. Is not a 3 years' old franchise that you guys are meesing with. With the money you made oout of the first 2 you should know there was material to do like 4 or 5. Why did you have to go and trash all over the stories like that. But any way go fur ball. Also saw Davinci code last night. I did enjoy it but very, very predictable. I prefer Nationals treasures for that matter. But at least it got me interested in reading the book.
Did some work on my garden but had to stop because I got blimishes on my hands...elves were not made for hard labor. Bathed my dogs or bathed with them as usual.
Planning another get away this weekned so dont tell anyone :P if you cant find me know that I will be ok...hopefully. But if you donr hear from me by tuesday get a little worry.

An old Spirit wanting to rest, a wandering soul seeking shelter, ruins of what used to be...I just want to take a drill and let all the steam out of my head. I can feel the migraine coming and there is no stopping it. I had been in the worse mood ever for the past week. And noone is even trying to understand that I am VERY IRRITABLE! Sorry but I do have a limit break and I think I reach it a while ago. Why the fuck do I have to still be the one there for everybody damn it. I too need someone to take the load of from once in a while. I know the burden I carry, I know the responsibilities, the constant judgment, the endless critiquing...But that doesn't mean it is easy or that I don't get tire...I am tired. Family, friends?, work...Life. When is my time to be on the passenger sit? When is my time to just be me?
On top of all the things boiling inside I found out that one of the only 3 co-workers I do share is piss at me...And for what?...I DON'T HAVE A CLUE. He just verbally attack me yesterday out of the blue, which made me so angry that I wanted it to take all my frustration on him. I wanted to rip his tongue and shove it into his ass so he could taste the shit he was talking.
My father is still mad at me for living the rich life or something
Forgot to pay cable, the payment I did make is on the air because is not on my account and it never reach the company.
Not my week, like the song says I need a blue skies holiday..Or I might lose it completely

Christine is ALIVE

So, I forgot my camera which I wish I had at the moment of posting this, but I dont. If I did you would be thinking that I post another picture of the cursed Christine...which is partially true. On Saturday afternoon I was stranded in my house playing FFX-2 when I heard a disturbing sound...I slowly got out of bed, went to the front door and saw a car ram into the already destriy piece of crap that used to be my car. My front neibor had try to move her brother's manual car and the car just went backward donw the rapm and stop when it hit mind.......ok I think this deserves a big WTF!!!!!! How can that damn car still get hit when it cant move? What fucking material was used to create that thing? If someone knows where to find the 7 daggers to kill the anti-christ please let me know.
On other news, about the car, the insurance company came on Friday and took a look at it. It is going to be "Perdida Total" hmmm didnt knew how to translate that. So this Thursday I am suppose to have an answer.
A very good friend told me I was obssesing over a car...and guess what? as always he is right. I dont know why these little things get to me so much. With all the shit happening around me I have to over analyze everything. Well I will try to change that.I said try dont expect miracles ok.

Christine stikes again

On friday night after a day that started at 5pm I got into a crash with an inmobile object, as the police claim says, just 2 minutes from my house I ram the car against a cement block on the side of the road. I am fine I suffer no harm. Being researching all over the place because ther emight be a chance that Christine will come back to life, which I FEAR. The reason that made me buy a Toyota is the same reason there is a chance she will hunt again...re-sale value. My car is worth almost $10,000 in the market right now, WHAT THE FUCK! so my fortune depends now on the estimate and the Insurance Company.
I am in charge of the office this week since my boss is on vacations out of the country. And it has been one of those weeks when everything that can goes wrong. Floods on Sunday, problems with Day End on Monday, shortage of equipment and Bitches geeting on my nerves. I might have to take Friday off to get somethings done.
Hopefully nothing else will go wrong in my life, famous last words.
The only good thing is that I finish a year long PS2 game. Now 5 more to go.