Dark Chest of Wonders

-.-

2009-04-13T07:25:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a WoW free weekend, I decided to take some days off the game to start focusing in other areas of my life, yes gaming IS part of my life. So I went in druid mode taking care of some plants that I had neglected for too long. I will see if I still had the touch because a few of them are on the edge of passing to a better life. I was so into plants that I went to Caguas and brought a few from there. Is not the same to have them on pots but is better than leaving them to whitter and die. First I will rehabilitate the roses then I will go crazy with cactus. Even the plants I like have thorns lol.
The dogs where piss since I was outside and not with them, specially Aku who went back at biting once I entered their territory. Kalisto is still nursing her 6 puppies and they are beginning to eat out of her bowl. I had never seen her so motherly in all the years she had benn with me...could this be her last batch? maybe she knows I plan to get her fix. I really do not want her to go thru another birth. Although once I can find a good place I can have more of them I will get them somewhere. Ppl think it is hard work taking care of them but hey! since I do not have kids to take to school, do homework, educated(no training for the dogs) and the such I do have enough time to dedicate to them and they sure appreciated my slaving over them lol.
I do assume ppl won't need me or won't miss me. I just want to say thanks for reminding me I need to keep in touch because we are friends, because we care, or just because. I really need to put more effort on not neglecting friends when they are friends. I have two or three close friends but I have to internalized that I might have more friends than I dare to admit.

:@

2009-04-03T05:13:00.000-07:00

Finally this week is over!! Although I do not any plans for the weekend to come I look forward to have some lazy time, hopefully. I just want to be there rotting in the sofa/bed for hours watching crap TV and letting my mind drift to never land. Sometimes I need a shutdown period.
My bitch Kalisto gave birth to 7 pups. Six red as her mother and one completely white. So far all of them are alive and six are healthy the last one is so tiny that I am not sure if it will survive. So every morning and afternoon I am the one making sure that little one gets some milk. Compare to the others six she is like 2 weeks behind. NO I am not falling in love with another dog, for now. Their eyes are still changing but one of the males is going to be a carbon copy of Kalisto, red/brown hair with gorgeous blue eyes. The others I am not sure until a few more days how the eyes will be. After the previous birth, that Kalisto ate all of them, I am surprise how motherly she is been with this batch. She is getting paranoid now that they are starting to walk/crawl away from her. She is in good condition and eating like a horse :S
This week I was happily put on my place for neglecting Valentine's day. I though it was not important, that you just did not care but you do...Who knew? I though I had you figure out and then you come to hit me with that backlash, ouch! nice! I will go back to my attention to details that I had let go off. I am glad you noticed that I was lacking but I am happier that you care enough to let me know. Are you a masochist? Why do you put with all my crap? Not that you are so easy to handle yourself...What do you gain from me? What do I get from you? Of all the ppl in my life are you the one to be there for me? Of all the ppl in your life am I the one to fill your needs? You know I can not be tame or cage, I know you can not be change...and knowing that we still here. Why I write this because you do not know about it. Maybe one day I will let you on this secret. But for now it will be here and maybe there for when the time is right.

-.-

2009-03-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

It has take me a while to decided if I want to continue wrtting adn after some time off I think I might. Still not sure where I want to take this blabbing but at least I can get some stuff out of the system.
How can I ask of you to listen when you are dealing with such a responsability. My meaninless complains are shadow by your unafair circunstances. It was fun to played ball with each other so called "issues" but how can I be of any help when my hands are tie. I feel helpless and that bothers me so much. Is frustaiting to not be able to be the bra I am supposed to be. My only consolation is that you have the mage by your side. A guy that everyday gains more and more my admiration and respect. On the other hand you had made me realize how pity I can be at times. You have teach me so much over the years and even though ppl will never understand why or how we still friends I just now we are. Saying goodbye to have you a trip away had been harder that you can imagine. Stopping myself from calling just to chat when I am bored a nightmare. Yesterday I said goodbye to my brother becasue he is joining the armed forces and it did not move me as much as saying goodbye to my friend, her hobby and their baby. A big part of me was going away and I could not stop it. Bt I knew it had to be done.
At the same time my other sister was solid on her marriage and her new life. For which I was happier than a dog with two tails. But that meant sacrifying time spend togheter and leaving her protetion to someone else. Understanding that she no longer need it protecting took a lot out of me but I was confident in her choice and he has been a great man to her.
Having too much time to myself left me no where to go but inside. Not to hide but to reconnect and redefine. I stared a long and hard journey which had taking me everywhere from hell to heaven. Which I might write later on.

Mid of Feb

2009-02-10T05:10:00.000-08:00

Finally got my green light form the physician. After weeks of tests and buckets of blood been drain out of me we discovered that I am fine...I just have a lazy bone marrow. Due to my last “dengue” my bone marrow took a vacation and apparently it takes a while to get up to where is supposed to be. But since I work on an Medical Institution I can not afford to wait for the bone marrow to decide to come back from vacation. They gave me a type of steroid to bust my system and shock my bone marrow to work normal. I got a big scare from my head physician when he decided, without my concern, to ask for an Oncologist for a second opinion. The oncologist send me to do 18 tests! And all the kept writing under reason for exam was leukemia. The waiting is the worse part. So many thoughts go thru your head. All the what if? How would I? ...all that is in the past now and I had my 50,000 miles check up lol.
My mother is getting married to her partner of 35 years on her birthday...it was about time. Everyone is making a big fuss about it. I was hopping for a ceremony with a selected group of friends/family and a nice celebration but nooooooo leave it to my family to turn a special occasion into a “fiestas patronales”. Everyone and their pets is invited...”How can I leave anyone out?” the colors will be dragish eastern bunny, the food asopao de 3 carnes, the ceremony will be in the luxury community center of a “residencial”. And the best part I have to be there. At least I only have to pay for the wedding dress, probably the grooms and my brothers cloths, and just smile for the pictures.
On much better news, I have the dog from hell as my new puppy. What did I expected when I named him Aku? Only 3 months old and he is getting huge, I have a feeling he is a puertorrican mix lol. I had bought him 5 different toys but he still enjoys chewing me...pants, arms, legs, fingers...when I wore short sleeves ppl think I had a fight with a woman. Hopefully he will out grow that face...soon. It is funny to see the old ones requesting attention and the puppy demanding it. Now Loki is getting more territorial with me. He literally jumps into my lap and keeps everyone at bay. Poor Dimitri still the silly puppy just wait for his turn and the matron Kalisto well she just knows I will go to her.
I am leaving for North Carolina next week for training. I will be there for a week learning the structure of the new system’s table. This is the first face of the conversion, start your engines.

December is here

2008-12-01T05:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we forget or ignore the blessings that are bestow on us. We tend to waste time on meaningless drama instead of appreciating the important elements that surround us. Last week it was Thanksgiving and for the first time in years my mother, my stepfather, my older brothers and me sat...actually sat! at the table to eat. Johnny gave a little prayer and we ate, we talked and we laughed. No matter how far you try to run away, in moments like this you notice all the details that forge you as a human being and you remember all the good times. For a few hours I did remember the dinners, the parties, when there was only one TV and we all jumped in bed to watched it...My family might drive me insane sometimes but I do have precious memories with them. All the important cast arrive to ate and a few new ones also appeared.
After an afternoon of beer and domino I went to my father's house. There was the whole crew, I mean my aunts and their families. I stayed there until 12:30am so I guess I was having a good time.
Friday I had the spontaneous idea of going to Old San Juan...for some reason the major decided it was a good day to decor so the streets were closed. Still feeling adventurous I decided on Saturday to go visit a new place in Barranquitas "Aviones". It is a restaurant on the mountain with two huge airplanes and a control tower. With just a road map I took off. First let me tell you there is NO easy way to get to Barranquitas...why so many curves did not they knew back then that the closest route between two points is a STRAIGHT line, damn. After almost 3 hours looking for the place I arrive. When you can hear the roar of people talking you know something is not right.
Me: How long for a table?
Guy: two and a half hour to sit
Me: What?!
Guy:Oh, and another hour and a half to eat
Me:...
By the time I was able to react I was in the car with directions to the "shortest" route. As I said there is no easy way to get in or out. at least I know where the place is.
It was a pleasant weekend I even surprise myself with been away from WoW for 3 days.
I will fulfill my quest on Barranquitas and San Juan but I think I will bring victims next time.

After 80

2008-11-24T06:55:00.000-08:00

I took a week of from work to behave as I had not behave in years...I played, I slept and ate. Nothing more for 7 days. It was heaven to be able to act as the kid I am. Days like that are better than traveling. Been able to go into the far end of gaming and forget about the outside world. Without regrets or remorse just the satisfaction of the game. Now that I cap I will discover the new realms until more get to my level and I can do Dungeons.
Thanks to the climate going down the dogs have a great fur. they look so freaking cute...I am in a good mood...Kalisto is shedding all the light hair and her brownish red hair is coming out. Dimitri looks very handsome with all the collar hair and little Loki...well he will look good anyways. Secretly I am looking for the missing link in the pack...a black dog but shhhhhh do not tell anyone.
This is a three days work week so hopefully it will go without any mayor event. I want to see how long can I work without blowing a fuse lol.

Numb again

2008-10-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to not be control by a primal instinct...sometimes you just let go so the basic needs arise. At this point in my life that the economy is stuck and sinking is better to not feel too many things around. Is not a moment to make rush decisions or to behave like me. : P I am trying hard to just not let many things get to my way. A time out is in order and hopefully I will take it on November. Honestly I understand why ppl go to psychiatric centers to get hospitalize for weeks...sometimes you just want to disconnect from the world. Actually they should encourage ppl to take a nice Psy vacations. Where they will give you shelter, food and medications for one or two weeks. I am even willing to sacrifices my tech stuff...then I will really need medication lol.
On reality I am taking a day off from PC every week. The first day was boring and frustrating. The second time was too productive. I finally got to do things I had procrastinate for too long. At the end of the day I actually just want it to sleep. Did I miss been in front of the monitor? Yes. Did I die? No. Was it worth it? Yes. I knew one day I would use human subjects for my experiments just did not knew it would be me lol. Maybe I can add another day but I won't push it.

rainy day and at work

2008-10-13T07:37:00.001-07:00

In the inactive state that I call Life I had neglected a few important facts in my surrounding. Even for me that is too impolite. I am still making adjustments to changes and environments. The problem is that the more I adapt the more it seems I am standing still. For some reason I feel like I am in hamster cage running in the same place. Maybe that routine is what makes us enjoy the highlights of our life; maybe I am just a junkie and need strong stimulus to get myself high. Do not get me wrong I do have a nice life is just that the routine gets to me. Doing the same steps every day gets annoying after a while. On the other hand I am a force of control...without it I am lost and confuse. It has taken me a lot to let loose just the few inches I have. I hope that is enough to begin.
I am glad I did not took the trip to see Nightwish/Sonata because NW cancel like 7 shows in a row...could there be troubles in paradise? So that money will be use to a get away...not saying where...to take a breather.

Last day of September

2008-09-30T05:50:00.000-07:00

It has been over a month now that I have been living in SJ and I am still happy of the choice I made. I do have to make some effort to provoke more dinamics around me. Not been on the road for 3 hours has cut on my cel time since once I get to the House I do not have the cel with me all the time...long ago I made the resolution to not be bound by that little contraption. I am trying to schedule call time during the nights...is not like there are so many ppl to call but it would be nice to have a chat or two. I will have to start dragging myself out of the PC to actually enjoy the reasons I decided to move to SJ. Is just that been sitting in front of the PC is such a comfy place. It can be as familiar or chaotic as I decide...but I do want more out of life. So on October I will try to change my rutine a little. I will star by getting back to my first love, reading...what did you expected? I do want to expand my knowledge base and to reconect with those late nights. And I think I do have the perfect catch to motivate me.

Monday

2008-09-08T06:03:00.001-07:00

This weekend just went by real fast. Nothing out of the ordinary. The only relevant thing is that I am finally got some time out of WoW to played other games...what did you expected? Is a lifestyle after all. I should not be bound by A game when there is a pletora of worlds to explore, maidens to save and creatures to smash. Although there is an extra satisfaction of beating toon control by a human...I know I have issues.
Last week I went to the house at Caguas to pick up a few things. The tenants rearranged the outdoors and it actually look nice. The are taking good care of the house and its enviroment. I do miss the tranquility of the House but when I add the time I am sleeping, the gas reduction, having everything close...I do think I won't be going back to Caguas. I do not know if i will change my mind after the contract is done but at this time I do not miss the traffic, the 4:30am wake up call, the hour and a half drive to rest...still it was my first cave but not the last.

2 months in a flash

2008-09-04T05:14:00.000-07:00

A new House, a new beginning. Leaving the safety net of my Cave and launching myself into the maelstrom of variables not control by me. Familiarity is a thing of the past, delimit territory no more. Is just a process of sharing and learning. My moving was done in matter of days; I think that has been the fastest change I had made in my whole life. I am a force of Control and Stability...I do not deal well with changes and worse yet with drastic changes. I do not know if all have settle in or if in a few days or week I will be in sync with my new environment. Dogs are like children they adapted so quick it was not even funny. Well hey do have a larger area with much more sunlight...poor Loki. Although they were having issues eating making me feed them manually...yes they are my babies! Now they are eating better, and digging, digging, digging. I really do not know what I will do without them. They are my therapy, companions, support group and even chat partners.
Having my life in a room is not something new, even in my house I used to live in my room. Is just choosing and discarding that is taking a tool. Realizing the things I have not used in the past 3 years and that should be put away or even throw out. Trying not to see, the sentimental value but the realistic problem of space.
On the plus side I am sleeping over 2 hours more, and playing like 1 hour more...is like my day got longer lol. I also move to an Hispanic server with all the dudes I know on WoW and reading/hearing the different accents is a riot.
On the last day of moving I was supposed to get on an airplane to visit my brother in Fl but AA cancel and the trip was change to Saturday. It was an enjoyable trip except for the visit to the Gator Park....did everyone forgot I have Herpetophobia? Apparently so...How the HELL did Moonfox creep out of a swamp? ...the only good part was the running under the rain in the airboat and the guide. I Had a good change to interact with my nephew and nieces. There is another!! Gamer in the family and is my oldest niece. She is very good at car’s games.
Back in PR things were a little chaotic still. Boxes, cramp space, computer crashes, unsolicited opinions...things that just do not help to improve a delicate situation.
Overall I do think I made the right choice. The purpose of moving to Caguas was accomplished and now I can move onto new and better environments. And hopefully be more in touch with friends and family.

Renew

2008-07-02T09:17:00.000-07:00

Do not question me if you see me gloomy, mad, piss or sad. Understand that is ME is not a phase is not a specific situation is just the way I am. Realize I live my life that way and I do not care. I do have a few moments of enjoyment and very few moments of real joy. I will always see the glass half empty, I will always rain on anyone parade if I do not agree with it. I am not a grumpy old man s just my behavior. I do not have to be like everyone else and pretend, I show how I feel. I express my though in a way that ppl can not misunderstand them. If you find that hurtful is not my problem, go and grow a thicker skin. Yes, I do get depress a lot and for many reasons...and I will accept that is an issue I need to resolve. I live my days one minute at a time. I do not choose to be a certain way I just adapt to circumstances.
I had spend a lot of time on WoW since is my only source of entertainment. The dynamics there are like in RL. I had a feeling of familiarity with some toons and they have it with me. After a few months in the same place you have the opportunity to establish a reasonable amount of comrade with others toons. In time some of those toons turn into ppl and you get to share moments that transcend the game. As is my luck those ppl live in the State but at least is something. I am finally getting the balance between game time and real life. Thanks to the head set I have neglected some RL friends...I only have 2 ears lol
The house is a mystery still so as soon as I make a decision things will happen.

The 3 questions

2008-06-20T06:37:00.001-07:00

This week I had my second interview with the Psi/Coach that the administration brought to the office to help us. She just went and explained my profile and how ppl see me. No big surprise there...on the good side they see me intelligent, competent, good with results, trustworthy, good leader...I might believe it. On the negative side they see me as explosive, not a team player, inaccessible...cry babies. We spend like 2 hours talking about strengths and weakness of my profile. She told me all the areas of grow I could have if I decide to give her a chance. That is a big IF because I like the way I am and I enjoy the reaction ppl have to me so if my co-workers cant deal with me that is their problem. The only thing I got out of that meeting was a little anger management exercise I want to try. She explained to me that when I feel anger I am actually dealing with three different emotions which are Pain, Fear and Frustration. So she told me I should try whenever I feel anger to ask myself: Why am I hurt? Why is this frustrating me? What do I fear from this? Since I am an analytical person that should bring me to a point where I can separate the emotions from the fact and I should be able to not explode on ppl and really resolve issues instead of just bury them. The fun will be to try to ask myself those questions before I reap a head off lol.

Back to Abnormal

2008-06-09T05:15:00.000-07:00

I has out of commission for a week thanks to a virus that kept me down with fever and body ache. I had to cancel the trip to Fl because of it and spend the whole week sweating and shivering. The prescription was rest, liquids, 2 Tylenols every 4 hours and more rest. So this past week has been a blur of waking moments and cold showers. On the plus side my mother went home and did a Tornado cleaning every time I woke up she was in another room doing something else. And yes I had my sickly soup.
Today I am back at work. Nothing has change everything is the same. Still no news from LaLa Land. The smell of fear is on the air but no sings of hope in the near future.
A little progress in WoW which is not bad for shorts periods of playing. Found a nice guild with a few interesting ppl. At least now I can write to someone while I wait for BG.

Letter to Willie

2008-05-25T15:58:00.000-07:00

When I first meet you I was glad I had someone to talk about Reality TV, and some obscure TV shows no one seems to know in the Island. We almost never agreed on many things but the discussions were always interesting. With you I played my first Wii game. Man how many time did I bet you that day? Beginners’ luck you said. Thanks to you I was able to catch up with some series you been the DVD whore had a great collection of them. You were one of the few people I allow myself to visit and it was always a joy to chat and spend time with you, the Wii, AI, Heroes….As I usually do with my friends I didn’t call in a while. Then I saw the promotion on the finalist for AI. I called and left you a message on your cel. Next week I called and left another message saying I was sorry for been so distant. The night of the AI finale I called sure you had to be in front of a TV…the machine didn’t allow any new message because it was full. A few days later I called again and there was a message saying the cel was not accepting more calls. The next day surfing some friends profiles in Facebook I saw your picture so I immediately went to your profile. The posts I read told me what I need it to know. You had pass away a month ago. I am sorry I could not said goodbye, or at least be a real friend and be there when you need it. Now you are with God teaching him how to use those wireless controls and telling him why he should send Simon to hell. I will not miss you because the memories of our time together are happy ones. And I know you lived life to the fullest. Rest with angels my friend

Is the year over??

2008-05-23T10:09:00.000-07:00

Crashes and power surge at work had made for two interesting weeks. Dealing with the fact that some equipment can not be reconected to the system after is shutdown...priceless. Managing the fact that I do not have enough PCs to replace the ones that are out of date...frustrating. Is like trying to feed Africa with a truck full of can beans and no can opener around. I had been working my you know what for 15 days, and I have to give credit to my Staff great support and no complains...even I am surprise by the way they are behind every juggernaut decision I am making. So I might have to get another lunch just for my 5 stars. I am still consume by the decision of leaving this place but if nothing here is going to change I have to. I do not know for how long I will deal with this but I am trying. Although I already decided that if I have to lose the house so be it. That house has been nothing but issues to beggining with. Maybe like my first car that is not the house to make me happy. But I need it the experience so I could find the real one.
Getting out of a deep depression with out professional help or medicine has been quite a journey. I am not sure if I am completly out of it but I think I am seeing clearer skies. I am only greatfull for the things I do not have at home: guns, anti-depresants, insectiside, sleeping pills, gas stove, HIV whore...damn I did though about it! The point is some nights are better than others. Some walking moments are sharper than others. Some mirages are easier to detect than others. Hopefully I wont erase this...
Summer is here and my only thoughts are that I can get out of bed one hour later and no traffic...SOme plans for September and maybe vacations on November if WotLK comes out. My only source of entertainment is WoW for now and even that is getting old fast. Still everything block at office so I am trying to go into some pages at home...and doing a lousy job at it.

Netherland

2008-05-13T05:18:00.000-07:00

In what seems to be an eternal struggle I am still trying to sort the thoughs in my head. Although some things had been solve for me and it has been for the better. I might be able to pull another year if I continue like this. I moght find some glimmer of purpose to keep on going a little while. Or in the blink of an eye I can take a U turn. Life has a way of teaching us what we need to know. Even if the lesson is a hard and cruel one. Each day is an opportunity to discover a new reality, a new lie, a new begginng. Is the journey that matters to the Wanderer, so for now I will try to do just that, enjoy the view. Like a walk thru the woods if I do not like one scene I can look the other way to see something else. I had payed to much attention to insignifant details and missing the Big Picture. Do not know how far I will get on this road or for how long but I need to believe there is a reason, I need to know there is a destination, I need to find if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

New Hardware Found

2008-04-30T11:09:00.000-07:00

After a few months of getting shit all over I decided to get away for more than a day, so I took 2 weeks off. Well no actually vacations but a change of enviroment and reality. I went back to a time when I Belived...when I though life was worth fighting for...a time when idealist could rule...dreamer. It was an experience long over due.
Work...why bother just the same crap with more ppl on the mix
House...well mix feellings about it. Some days I want to stay and be there enjoying the silence. Sometimes I just want to sell it and look for a smaller place where I can have my dogs.
I had been reconecting and disconecting with ppl around me. It is time to take care of all the waste of space around me. It is time to clear my surroundings and take a stand. I choose a long time ago to kept going so it is time to make it on my own terms.

My Dream's But A Drop Of Fuel For A Nightmare-Sonata Arctica

My painted face, I'm a clown,
and I'm laughing while my dream turns into a nightmare,
fade away, I'm asleep,
not too deep...

The walls of night have left me scarred
the broken glass I stepped on, twice.
the ardent spirits' rusty edge, decapitate me...

I can't sleep, fear darkness
go through the motions, did I fall asleep?
I'm bowling, the old nine pin, a sign unwanted...

Now I'm a target, I'm hot and frozen,
stormy rain I'm stuck in an elevator
wet from the muddy water,
breathing hot air, winds convey me...

bababababaaaa...
the number talks and I cry in my own Hell....
bababababaaaa...
Wide awake, I'm asleep, see a friend as a ghost

I'm skating with a seal,
the tarantula, the fly, the broken ring
the dusty little flea
an ugly giant, a disappointed child

here comes a rabid snake
the broken violin, a wild ballet
Shakespeare and company
refuse to kill the kitten scratching me...

I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling... - awake

You know, if you believe the dreams, the nightly visions, worlds entwined
then you also fear your shadow, paranoia, part two...

All the good things in my life dwell in my mind
Took a wrong lane, every day, I hear myself say
Sickening's this feeling, my life, my hopes, my dream's but a drop of fuel for a nightmare

they all turn out the same
My destiny, my flame
believing is control?
no.
the painting comes alive,
takes me inside a world without a name, a place beyond compare

Believe the dreams that let you sleep
the broken glass you need to sweep
The book you read; if you found an explanation
to help you in any way,
you are your own prison.

Woke up today,
the good and the bad and the ugly dreams are gone
...jumped off the carousel

Revelations

2008-03-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

The past two weekends had been quite interesting. One of my brothers is helping me finish all the things the F contractor never did. What is the relevance? That brother had been the black sheep all his life. To the point I did not even acknowledge him for over 4 years. He had been a pain to my mother since he was 15 and now is reaching 50. Suddenly after my mother retired he change. He is clean now, taking care of himself and even getting along with our stepfather. If he was willing to change so was I. After a few months of lowering my guard I decided to ask him to come and work on my house. Not only did he accepted but my other brother and my mother jumped in the wagon. So for the past two weekends I have had the weird experience of becoming a real Family Guy. Working on the garage, on the garden and cleaning the house. They are like ants and loud as gorillas, but all in all they are my family...damn it took me 30 years to accept that. I think they are the only group of ppl I will ever feel attach to. My mother has been radiant since it had been years, many years, since her sons had spend time together with her at the same time without a funeral been involve. And the fact that the work in the house is getting done is a plus bonus.

Just been lazy

2008-03-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

A bunch of useless, meaninless and ordinary events had occured in the last month and I won't go on and on about that. Instead I will go over the high point of this year so far. The Iron Maiden concert...the freaking Iron maiden concert!!! After been so stupid to schedule an upgrade the same day of the concert(thankfully nothing went wrong) I decided to visit mother and father before loosinf myself in the madness...the madness came a little early with another chapter of Family Guy, puertorican version. I couldn't arrive to meet a few peps for drinks but as a class reunion the closer I got to the Choliseo the more ghost from the past I meet. Apparently the gates of Hell were open and many creatures came out that night. Once inside the mass of black shirts was outstanding. Never in the Island had I witness such a wave of metalness(I ran out of good metaphors). The whole freaking place was pack with fans from all ages.
After a so so performance by Steve Harris daughter, and a fifteen minutes wait at 9:33pm(by my watch)...
We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender

With that began the experience to kill every single concert I had ever seen. I was able to be only feets from the stage. Beside a few minor and major sound problems the concert was incredible.

01. Intro - Churchill’s Speech
02. Aces High
03. 2 Minutes to Midnight
04. Revelations
05. The Trooper
06. Wasted Years
07. The Number of the Beast
08. Run to the Hills
09. Rime of the Ancient Mariner
10. Powerslave
11. Heaven Can Wait
12. Can I Play With Madness?
13. Fear of the Dark
14. Iron Maiden
15. Moonchild
16. The Clairvoyant
17. Hallowed Be Thy Name

I was without my voice for 2 days but who cares I was part of The Somewhere Back in Time tour and that is priceless.

long days

2008-02-24T03:45:00.000-08:00

I had been a little lazy or full of too much crap to write. The situations around are still very chaotic. I am trying to cope with too many variables that are out of my control. Tired of dealing with unstable ppl around me. I am either in the wrong place or in the wrong state of mind. Maybe I will do a start over...
No helping hand, no simpathetic ear, no words of encoragment...I am as always on my own. That I am strong does not means I do not need a shoulder to lean on once in a while. It is crazy to depend on my dogs for moral support. And sometimes that is the only support I get. I do not know how much worth it is to keep the track I am...
Tired of this void inside that nothing or noone can fill. Maybe is a void that noone has try to fill. All I know is that is there and is growing every day. The bigger it gets the less I care about fixing it.

another to the list

2008-02-05T02:43:00.000-08:00

Just when I though I had ran out of I am sorry...I am really sorry for defending co-workers and trying to proof that they are doing their work. I am sorry to trust they will cover my back beacuse I had covered theirs. Why the hell will I go out of my way to make sure you have all the tolls require to do a task so the day before a big implementation they tell me I forgot...WTF!!! Stupid asshole, you should had done your freaking job, you should had said I will stay and finish it, you should had show some kind of fidelity but nooooooooo. You choose the easy way out. You choose to be one of the mass and as one of them you should be treat it.

monday 2/4

2008-02-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

Another week stared and I am in the same crap state of mind. No light at the freaking end of the tunel, well actually no end of the tunnel. Spiriling down into a black hole is more like it. What is the use of it all? Why try to do more when less seems the logical choice. I am just plain tire. Not physically but emotionally drain. It seems I am surrounded by emotional vampires that can not move on unless they take someone else energy.
Sorry I haven't help with the moving but have anyone stop and ask how do I feel? Is not easy to help someone put a few miles between us. How do you think I feel when I have to take every freaking memory away and leave empty space? To replace a pseudo relationship with a cell one is not what I expected at this point in my life. Yes I had been absent but had you ask why?
Sorry I did not when to visit at the Hospital, sorry that your sons think so little of you that they did not went to your bed. I had been there thru the whole separation process. I had witness the crash and burns. I had help with the rebuilding. But right now I can't or won't be there. I need time to fix myself before I can even consider lending another hand.
I am not sorry for my disappering acts because those are the ones that recharge me inside and out. My tolerance levels are very low with a tendency to zero. maybe tomorrow I will see another angle but today that is all I got.

RUSH
"Nobody's Hero"

I knew he was different in his sexuality
I went to his parties as a straight minority
It never seemed a threat to my masculinity
He only introduced me to a wider reality
As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that he was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart

But he's nobody's hero
Saves a drowning child
Cures a wasting disease
Hero...lands the crippled airplane
Solves great mysteries
Hero...not the handsome actor
Who plays a hero's role
Hero...not the glamour girl
Who'd love to sell her soul
If anybody's buying
Nobody's hero

I didn't know the girl, but I knew her family
All their lives were shattered in a nightmare of brutality
They try to carry on, try to bear the agony
Try to hold some faith in the goodness of humanity
As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that she was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart

But she's nobody's hero
Is the voice of reason against the howling mob
Hero...is the pride of purpose
In the unrewarding job
Hero...not the champion player
Who plays the perfect game
Hero...not the glamour boy
Who loves to sell his name
Everybody's buying
Nobody's hero

As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that you were gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart

But he's nobody's hero
Saves a drowning child
Cures a wasting disease
Hero...lands the crippled airplane
Solves great mysteries
Hero...not the handsome actor
Who plays a hero's role
Hero...not the glamour girl
Who'd love to sell her soul
If anybody's buying
Nobody's hero

loosing ectropy

2008-01-21T09:26:00.000-08:00

It has taken me a few years to make my life predictable, organize, custom made, just the way I like it. There were always too many variables I could not control affecting the equation. And finally one day the formula came to be and my life finally had the correct input and output that even though could drive anyone insane it made sense for me. Work, friends, family, relationship, house all of them combine to generate different degrees of satisfaction(since I know I can never be 100%). But in the past month everyone decided to change composition and screw up my well balance equation. I do not deal well with drastic changes. I like to analyze, well over analyze and explore different ways to attack an issue. I can not just go head first and see what happens.
The closest thing to a relationship is not going to live as close as it had for the past 3 years. Which will bring a lot of changes to the way this thing is working. Deciding were to go, what to do, even were to sleep is going to be hard the first months. Getting use to not been close, well I do not know if that is going to be good or bad. And the moving is because of financial reasons which brings a whole bunch of issues with it.
Then comes work, which I finally decided to take a stand and stick my ground. Still I do not know what will happen but I can only hope for a resolution what ever it might be. I hate the uncertainty. I can not deal or accept some aspect of my superiors and their actions. But still is shaking my world.
At home I am still getting use to not been 100% in control of it, and trying to be a good host. I honestly do not know if I am making a good job or not. I am just trying to not be too bitchy. And that is all I can do.
I might take a few days to visit my brother in Florida or maybe finally take a cruise to relax and release...well if work permits!

So the year began

2008-01-14T04:50:00.000-08:00

It had been a very busy year's start. I will try to recap as much as my memory can recall. I said goodbye to the old year in my house, alone, as God intended with jeans and a tshirt. I only got 2 calls one from Mother another from Sony. I felt ok since no one bother me and I did not bother anyone. Hopefully this will be the beggining of a beautiful tradition of me doing nothing on the 31st.
On the 3rd on January my nephew was shot were he lived. He was 19 at the moment and he had a 2 years old daughter. Can not said much about him since the last time I saw him was like 5 years ago. But what got me worry was my brother. He has been in the wrong side of the tracks for years and finally this year he started to show signs of humanity and common sense. But he had a lot of support from all the family including myself. I had to also be there for my mother during the grieving period.
One of my little brothers decided to joing the armed forces. Everyone is supporting that desicion except for his mother. The story is too long but in short joinning the marines is the best desicion my liitle brother has done in a very long time.
Since last week my best friend and her husband are staying with me since their baby was brought to SJ for medical treatment. Just some minor changes and getting use to having ppl in the house. Well, almost since they have to leave really early, and been the Super Parents they are, they are staying until 9pm in the hospital. I was in charge this past Saturday of going to the 2 halfhour visit because they had to get to the west to take care of some stuff.. At least I know I can bore babies to sleep lol. I do not know how they handle it...is a feeling of uselessness been there unable to do nothing but wish and pray. On the plus side I had to buy and install a router for V to get some much needed information from the web. Which means the geek was out again lol. I even set up the wireless security now I need to buy the antena to make the PC an access point...GEEK ALERT Maybe having them at home will make me finally do the techie stuff I should had done a looong time ago.
I am officially part of the WoW community and I am enjoying every moment of it. is not D&D but it is as good as I can get. No Myspace, facebook, Hi5 at work so I had been neglecting a few ppl. Hopefully i will get in touch soon.
The month is not giving signs of slowing down so I will see how it goes.

the last of 2007

2007-12-31T06:45:00.000-08:00

This year has not been spectacular, not that bad, not that good either. Which in my case is an achievement. This year was not my year...I mean is was the year of everyone close to me. The year started with my sisters' weddings, one week apart lol. Then it was my mother and stepfather's retirement, Hell month more like it. They were able to buy a house and are having a blast. Is like they are living for the first time in years. My brother that lives with my mother made a 180 degree turn and even I am impress with his behavior. My brother in the states got a job offer in Florida which is going to be great for him and his family. V gave birth to a beautiful expansion of her jejeje. She will make those two proud. So even though nothing extraordinary happen to me it did happen to those close to me. I am happy for their happiness. And I am still learning to take a back sit and watch from a distance. This year I have to learn to take care of my life more closely. I have to really be selfish with me and dedicate more time to me, myself and I.
To those out there I hope you can keep those resolutions until May at least and that all your short time goals can come true this year.

White Night Fantasy (Once)
Nightwish

Enchantress came to me and said:
Meet me at the lake tonight

I hunmed this song to the white
Through the shroud of snow I saw
Paradise
Peace
No more lies

Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings

I dream of wolves with them I run
For me she lengthened the night
I am home
I am in peace

Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings

5 days to go

2007-12-26T08:58:00.000-08:00

I had managed to stay out of rock bottom this xmas. Still not in a Xmas spirit but at least not under the black weather I had been in the past years. Maybe is the realization that my life is not as bad as I perceive it to be, maybe is having a real concern for someone else, maybe is the fact that I really had not celebrate the season at all...what ever the reason I am just having a lot of free days and no boss at work. Now I only have New years' eve to worry about.
Last weekend I closed a lot of chapters in my life. Mainly because I finally went thru all the boxes I took from my mother's house. I decided to keep only what I really though matters. I threw away books, letters, cards, very old pieces of paper, cassettes, cartridges, elementary school crap, old awards...damn I had a bunch of junk store for the past 30 years or so. Well not any more. The trash should be picking everything up today.
Xmas night was a marathon of family reunions. First my mother's house for eating and some rush quality time then my father's house for a gathering. The highlight of the night was that I was able to played until 4am once I got home.
On other news, my sister from another mother has her baby girl in the hospital. I think I did my first real prayer in a while last week. That baby is really lucky and she knows it. Her parents love her so much that they even became singers for her lol To you both I tip my hat for I had witness your devotion and love.No one can dare say you are not good parents in fact you are the best example of what a parent should be. From far away but you 3 are in my prayers...yes I am praying now

Rainy weekend

2007-12-10T06:56:00.000-08:00

If you want to impress someone without flowers this is the way to do it. Fresh fruits in a colorfully display. Nice place, with sweets, with many options,with sweets, fruits cover in chocolate...my new place for gifts. It was funny to ask for an arrangement without any special occasion. The seller was going nuts...
do you want a card with that?
No
the card is free
ok, but no
Do you want to write something?
No
Can I put a name to it?
No
The card will print anyway
...ok, so write just for you
that's it?
yesss
do you want your name on it?
dude, I am delivering the thing
oh, ok

It was funny, apparently ppl need an occasion to ask for a gift or something.

Saturday was a black hole of "why even bother" at some point around 9 pm decided to rent a movie. I though King Kong was too long until I saw Spider-man 3...WTF!! They could have done all that in a third of the time. I am so glad I did not paid to watch that crap on a theater. Sunday was another geek day, playing with features in the PC. Which means next week i have to give some loving to the house+car+dogs. Still talking to my State brother every week, which is very refreshing. My mother is officially in her new home. And so far I have not been hit too hard by the Xmas spirit.

The Vista days

2007-12-06T07:28:00.000-08:00

I bought a new PC, though on going to Mac for a while but in the last moment went PC. After a lot of researching found one that wouldn't blow my budget and that could make me happy for the time been. 3g of RAM, NVDIA video card, lots of HD, media ready, 19" display. All in all a very nice PC with an adequate price. The only problem was that it came with Vista, I have not had the opportunity to play with it so I took that as a challenge...well more of a puzzle. Lets remember that I DO KNOW computers and programming. First step move all my programs/files from the Laptop to the PC...easily done with an external drive of 500gb. Second step install/download into the new PC...here is where you start to feel stupid. I only have my account so is an administrator account and Vista still ask you for permissions to do some installing, ok not bad. Some installations are not completing, others after the installation are not working. I went thru so many FAQS and in too many the first comment was "Upgrade to XP and you won't have any issues" *sob* To finish some installations I had to turn off processors, for others I had to explicitly give permissions to the application, for another resolved a compatibility issue...After a two days my PC had everything install. My favorite online game did not want to work...back to the FAQ. Stupid, freaking Vista even though I am the administrator of my PC I have to open with "Run as Administrator" for some applications to function...WTF!!!! Oh well it is a learning process. My neighbor bough a new PC too and ask for help since he is from the Stone Age in regards to computers. I said sure, How long can it take? *sob*. First step move programs/files...his old PC is Win98...*faint*freak out* that means the external drive would not work because of driver's issues...3 jump drives later...Turn the new PC and started downloading upgrades...2 hours later...restart for new upgrades...HELLO!!!!! the a third time. Left everything for the next day. One critical update did not finish...at this time I knew the FAQ Home Page by heart. After a 4 pages long step by step explanation of the issue upgrades were complete. Moving to installations...Office 2007 would not start. It would said setup complete but it would not open...FUCK!! I mean FAQ!!! After searching FAQs and users forums I found out that Vista and Office(although from the same company) has some issues with printers file. So after some Office upgrades(No they do not come with the Windows updates) I finished that setup.

Things learn:
Vista is not user friendly
3gs are awesome
Need a desk
Need a comfy chair
I am a freaking tech

Goodbye to The Crazy One

2007-12-04T06:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the first born of Natasha Silverbane pass away. In her first day on the new house her naive playfullness got the best of her. In the garden that she was supposed to share with her mother she found death. A wild spirit, never tame, never behaving, always cheerful, always the puppy. How was she to know of the perils that lurks on the wild. I still remember that late night when she came into the world. So tiny was she, so helpless...she was my first delivery. I clean her, put her next to her mother and just watch her for God knows how long. My mother took her as her own, in case I took Natasha away. But the two of them became inseparable, until now. Natasha still has the marks of her crying, that really got to me. I was not there to say goodbye, but I will miss you. The way you always use to find a way to pee on me, either first hand or with that damn flailing tail. I will miss the fighting for affection that you and your mother had everytime I got close. Rest in peace

Mecano-Laika

...y si hacemos caso a la leyenda
entonces tendremos que pensar
que en la tierra hay una perra menos
y en el cielo una estrella mas...

First week of December

2007-12-03T04:52:00.000-08:00

Not so bad comparing to last year. Must be my resolution of not celebrating. I am even going to work during December. I am tire of expecting, waiting, hoping...I won't rain on anyone parade, or try to bring no one down, but I will try with all my might to keep afloat. So this year there will be no decorations at my house, no gathering of people, maybe a few mandatory phone calls and nothing more. December will be just another month with a cold weather.
I am loosing the battle to keep my sanity at work, but ppl apparently are not noticing or maybe they are to afraid to let me know. I am not controlling my temper, my tone of voice or my body language. Is getting to the point that I do not care what happen to me any more.
Family...the only highlight is that my brother that lives in the states is communicating more often. After X years we are finally creating a real bounding...who knew? I am actually looking forward for hos new job to start so I can visit him in Florida. Maybe I can get to know other nephews beside Yanqui and Zuly.
Today is catching up on emails and messages. Hope I do get them all :P

almost December

2007-11-28T04:47:00.000-08:00

JUST A MEMO

Did not do anything extraordinary on Thanks giving weekend. A long boring weekend trying to make space for the junk that is left in my mother's previous house. Since she started moving I need to take my stuff to my house. The only low point was a weird mix up with the painting guy. I ended up hiring a guy that no one knows how he found out about the job. I only used him for the priming.
This week started on the wrong side of the road. Clashing with my boss again, I am getting so freaking tire of his black hole mentality. I feel like I am going to explode at any time. Plus adding the fact that is almost December and the traffic has not getting better as the past years. I am arriving annoyed at work and tire at home. At least I am trying to find extracurricular activities to do in my house so the boredom does not kill me little by little.
Not looking forward to the end of the week. Too many trash in my head and no one to talk to, does not a good combination make.

Finally

2007-11-05T10:49:00.001-08:00

After many, many months of trying finally this weekend I was able to sat and played a few hours of good old D&D. Got out of Caguas with a full tank of gas and a healthy breakfast. Since I am such a sucker I was listening to Iron Maiden the whole way to Ponce. Where I had to made a stop to pick the monk and the necro. After some traffic jam and one detour I was able to get to the monk's house. They where more excited than me I think. We were talking the whole way to V's house. After not taking the correct route we ended up in a series of unfortunate curves that put the necro in a dizzy spell. Five minutes later the monk was under the same spell. Once I commanded the ghoul to drove back I got a hold of V and she gave me the directions to the closest inn and then to her house. Speaking of which I will never, ever going to eat there again...NEVER!!!!! the onset time on the poison is like 12 hours and almost killed me that night. When I got to V's house the nanny was there to received us. The three of them actually click in some mysterious level. After a few minutes or hours the family arrive with daddy announcing that the diva has a arrive, making a grand gesture with his free hand...I though he was referring of himself but he corrected me showing me my baby niece :) The mummy V came into the picture and as soon they were banish to the second floor...perverts :P
The evening pass to quick for my taste but I was able to re live for a moment why I do love this game so much. Is a sense of community that is hard to explain. Is a lifestyle that I wish I could absorb more often but hey that is life. Hopefully I can make it work for long enough. If the powers do not interferer to much.

After Halloween

2007-11-01T05:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I came to work feeling the Great Pumpkin, so I decided to put some fun stuff to work. It made my day a lot of fun making ppl stare lol. After work I went to the gym were a celebration was being prepared. Music, customes, gifts. The only thing I put there was a theme t-shirt, next year they will see. After a fun, relaxing, sweety workout went to by goodies for the trick-or-treaters. As I was getting home kids were already in my street. My first client was a little princess with her mommy. I went overboard with the sweets because I used to hated those houses that only gave you one candy. I was a hit with the kids, 3 even repeat my house because I quote "you have the best candy and you give a lot"...I do not have a Xmas spirit but I do have something else :P The last kids pass around 8:30. On top of all that I watch the Peanuts Halloween special and found out that Iron Maiden is comming next year to the Choliseo. I love the 31st of October.

Stormy night

2007-10-26T05:46:00.001-07:00

It has been raining since yesterday. The wind has been blowing all night. Gray and black clouds are everywhere. And I am loving every minute of it. The only problem is that I had to come to work...F**K. I do enjoy this weather and with a full moon tonight it looks like an omen to just enjoy the show. Finally I am focusing all my negativity in one insignificant point...my boss. Every grain of dark energy is compromise to his demise and suffering. Which I do hope last enough for my never fulfill satisfaction.
Yesterday had to drag my mother to the physician hopefully is only an irritation of the stomach instead of a pancreatitis. Today she have to get some test done.
Warning advise ahead. After 3 years of on and off, fighting, disappointment, cheating and lots of disrespect why do you still try to hang on. You had try for so long now is time to just let go. Do not try to hold on to someone that never was yours to begging with. I had to let you pass through Hell alone now I can help you get out. But only if you want to leave. If you decide to stay I promise to fight at your side. Just leave the trash behind you have others to take care off. Others that are really important. Stop acting like a child and take care of your children. Since you are alone now this is the perfect time to get closer to them. Learn from them. If your parents treated you like shit you DO NOT have to do the same to your kids. You can break the freaking cycle. You have a treasure worth reclaiming. Like Jarabe de Palo said..."y sino respondo grita" or leave a message on my cel :P So there is no misunderstanding this is for the Gentle Giant.

Black and Blue

2007-10-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

Monday at the office. The boss is crazier than usual, trying to get into a power game with me...lol He has already lost that one. Trying to mess with me employees, a united front will never fall. Sending stupid emails, like I give a F*ck about them. Maybe if he beg for mercy...nah!!!!
Culinary weekend without my much anticipated FEAST!!! Went to a nice Restaurant in Old San Juan name Botin(treasure) on Thursday night. Great atmosphere, excellent service and the food amazing. With a charmed Sommelier I was able to go to the first floor where they still have the old bank safe and the wine cellar. A local actress Von Marie Mendez is a co-owner of the place and came to the table to chat a little.
Saturday was my homemade pizza with lots of everything and wine.
On Sunday at the last moment the adventurer in me was lullaby and went to a safe heaven to eat. After a rainy journey I arrive and was welcome by the warm ppl that work at La Casita in Guabate. Still no luck on the naranja flan :( but a weird guy came in selling cheese flans and that was dessert lol.
At least I know I can celebrate someone else Bday now I have to try to do the same with mine.

Sleepwalker
Nightwish

Close your eyes
Feel the ocean where passion lies
Silently the senses
Abandon all defences

A place between sleep and awake
End of innocence, unending masquerade
That's where I'll wait for you

Hold me near you
So close I sear you
Seeing, believing
Dreaming, deceiving

A place between sleep and awake
End of innocence, unending masquerade
That's where I'll wait for you

Sleepwalker seducing me
I dare to enter your ecstasy
Lay yourself now down to sleep
In my dreams you're mine to keep

Another year

2007-10-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

Today I celebrate another year of your life. No matter how unimportant you want that day to be I can not let it pass. It is my privilege to be here for you. From the screaming cashier to the crazy cake guy, I hope your day was as memorable as I try it to be. Shitty weather, bad mood I won't let you frown tonight. Let me light guide you for a while. Do not ask me why just accepted. Happy Birthday.

Sick in the head

2007-10-17T11:34:00.000-07:00

Have you ever witness a crash accident? I mean before it happens. You know what will be the outcome but you can not look away from it. You just have to watch it happens. Well I am in that point in my life. I am seeing bodies in motion and they are in a collision course. Bound to crash into each other and I can not look away. I am mesmerize by the whole spectacle waiting for the inevitable conclusion. Why does the Devil put those distractions so close?
Being the Puppet Master at work is becoming so easy that is not even funny. Dolls need to be manipulated in order to go from A to B. So I am really doing them a favor. I am giving them purpose. I am only giving them the right point of view. Which only I can really know.
A waste is a terrible thing to mind but hey someone has to.

Not manic but Monday

2007-10-15T06:34:00.000-07:00

I have been negleting some ppl lately, who knew? I am feeling kind of tire once I get home, so the only thing I do there is watch TV and sleep. I am not deppress just tire. Even the doggies were missing me, and that can not be. This weekend I force my ass out of bed and shower all four dogs...well I play with water, they tag me, I rinse them they slobber me...it was all fun. Then I put the druid robe and attack some vines that were strangeling roses and Heliconias. while doing that I got some insight of how the plants might look their best. Which means I have a relocating project ahead. Even considering how to use the doggies poo to fertilize the garden...and not manually :s I also had a change to brainstorm some ideas for the party/shortstory/whatever. I need to buy new notebooks if I want to keep my breathing health.

monday again

2007-10-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

Busy at work, same crap same old dog trying to get away with same old tricks...Not this time. I am planning a one man strike or something. Well not exactly but I will just do what I am supposed to do and nothing more. Lets see if they like it :) House is looking more as a house every day. Still do not know how much more $$$ can I put into it. I have to put it in black and white..so I won't get into the red.
Every moment I get more convince I should do the Psi thing and work on my own...need to get the $$$ straight first.
1st of October looking to put some Halloween thingies at home and at the office, maybe next year I can finally do the Haunted House theme I have always wanted. But this year still too much debry to do that.
Probably family visit this weekend to do some cleaning, hope is not a bad idea.
Mentally busy, physically tired...

A ranger's feast

2007-09-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to Top Meat, suppose to be a good place to eat and that is an understatement. The place is between Guaynabo and Bayamon. The first impression is that it is a gourmet store with some tables in the back to sit. Wine racks are everywhere, sorted by country. I was not in my comfort zone for the first 10 minutes. After a few, apparently obvious, questions on my part I got the feeling of the place. First you can go and hand pick your wine and every bottle has the price on the bottom :) The wine collection is obscene and the price range very good. After picking a well know wine a sat and the complementary artisan's bread was brought to the table with a plate of olive oil and pepper...If they had put a pound of bread I would had ate the whole thing. For appetizer we ask for a chorizos parrilleros that came with some tostones. As another complementary treat they brought us pana chips with pico de gallo...was I gona had space for the real meal?? The place became really homey and the conversation helped a lot to increase the experience. For me I ask for BISON medium with arroz manposteado...now I know why they are going extinct. The meat was so tender, rich and not overpower with condiments. Then another bottle of wine to match the experience. This time I went with something new to learn its taste. I was able to taste Wild Boar and Ostrich on the table. For dessert raisin bread pudding with ice cream...and a birthday candle :s I gave everyone a little piece because it was a HUGE piece. I also took a bite of a dark, really dark chocolate brownie and something with a custard that I forgot the name. Great service, excellent atmosphere...and if you want something from the store even if is not on the menu the can prepared for you.
I got home around 11pm and to my freaking surprise the whole drive way was empanetada :o I guess is not when I want to celebrate is when the DM feels like it.

The post that almost was

2007-09-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

Natural selection is the way the cycle of life continues to move forward. Species most evolve in order to cope with the changes in the environment. Those that do not or can not evolve are doom to perish and go extinct. So, is the order of things, and the way life will go on. Out of time to change or learn new tricks those obsolete will be left behind, forgotten. This is not an evil act is just nature taking is course.
And then there are those that evolve too soon and are force move on, with no lead of what to expect or any guidance to follow. Having to experience the rights and wrongs of life, so others can learn and not do the same mistakes...working to makes someone else life easier.
Living on extremes is not easy, is tiresome. You either fade away or die not knowing why. You are looking ahead or flying solo. You are alone or getting lonely.
Everything I hold dear is safely in the pack. I can only observe while the march continue. Never part of it just an observer.

Not unbreakable
Not made of stone
Not unreachable
Just a heart beat away

In the rage of my voice
In the sorrow of my eyes
In the useless fights
I made my cry for help

In the oceans
In the clouds
In the mountains
No one heard my howl

Forever away
Never again
Time to fade
Dreamers ends

That was supposed to be my post but I see things brighter today. Not into blaming or bashing. Yes I will drag me feet for a few more days, but I will levitate you'll see.

Bday 07

2007-09-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

From now on I will make life easier for me and those around me. I will no longer observe my birthday, anniversaries, Xmas and new years. No longer will I expect anything from anyone on those days. Do not worry I will as always remembers yours but from now on I will not expect you to remember or make memorable mine. I am just tire of the disappointment even when ppl try their best. I am sorry but this is no elementary school so a Merit batch is not good enough for me. Life should be more passable once I get the message out there.

Burning at both ends

2007-09-06T05:22:00.000-07:00

Last week I was in charge at the office, not that much of a challenge if ppl did not expected me to fix 6 month of BAD, VERY BAD management. I have the tools, knowledge and desire to do what must be done, but I won't do it for nothing. My short temper is been test every freacking day at work and so far I had been able to kept it check.
House...well is in progress hopefully i will be able to see it done by the end of the month. Mix feelings about what to do once/if the job is finish. Part of me want to get into doing all the little things that must be complete, another part just want to get as far away as possible. To have one visit a month or so is not what I had in mind when I bought the house. So I might need to reconsider moving closer to the ppl I know...on the other hand living in the Mountain has it benefits.
Trying to get motivate is not an easy task for me, this freaking mood is starting to bug me and I need to snap out of it. Lack of motivation or inspiration, routine, emotional void, whatever poetic metaphor I want to call it. Having more bad days than good nights...I prefer the night time, perverts! I am looking forward to a cataclysm and reshape my whole existence...BEWARE!!!
Hopefully putting a D&D party together will fuel some, much need it, life into my life.

Another waitting period

2007-08-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

I have gone to Las Vegas and back...Although you can see the whole place in 2 or 3 days is worth to take the time to enjoy the architecture and surprises it has. From pirates ships to Rome and New York the place is just a mix of exagerations done with good taste. It was a bussiness trip but I had the chance to go to the Stripp at night, which was better after all. The temperature was over 105C even at night. It was like feeling the Sun in your face at midnight. The highlight of my trip was a dinner in The Cheesecake Factory(insert my droll here). It is a steak house with great beverage, variaty food and godlly deserts. I will visit one every chance I have. The other high point must be the 3 hours all you can play bonanza at gameworks. Video games for free, enough said.
Back to reallty my bitch gave birth to eight puppies and all of them die before I arrive to my house :( Do not know what happen it just did. I was more worry about the mother than of the fact. I guess I will definetly fix here this year. The bitch I call best friend :P gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Or a mini V more like it lol. She and her husband are going to be great parents. I had the chance of seeing them in action and they do complement each other.
Last monday was the most rescent chapter of the asswhole contractor. Well...another month long wait for the last chance at finnishing the job or all my money back. The judge was really harsh on the fellow, FINALLY. So if the job is not done to my entire SATISFACTION(how many things are wrong in that sentence lol) he must pay back all the money I gave him. The contractor went pale.So, sob, he has done some minor things but no biggie yet.
More random updates
Ghost reappering from the gamming cemetery
New satelites joining the solar system of Q
Proud of having 75GB on my iPod

A quick, very quick fast forward

2007-08-10T06:05:00.000-07:00

Went to the Dominican Republic the 28th of July to spend a week with my father, brothers and stepmother. I thought the freaking pilot was drunk since the airplane was going side ways more times than I though were healthy. The Melia Tropical Caribe is a gorgeous place. From the reception to the beach there is not a single place to be disappointed...even the bathrooms are like a lobby with a fountain view and sitting areas(I did not ask why). I was able to meet ppl and enjoy the company of my family(yes I do have one). Even though I had to be my bitchy self I had a great time and maybe I will like to repeat the experience.
Having that out of PR experience I decided to give ppl a chance. I know I have a tendency to scare the locals but for a while I will take the chance and put myself out there...we'll see how that experiment goes
Tomorrow I will be living to Las Vegas on business trip. which means another week to be out of sync but I won't complaint much.
Overall I am having a good time, I think I am beginning to enjoy life instead of just living it...btw my garden is doing great! So I might have time to smell the roses, literally.
Two of my bitches are about to give birth one is my baby Kalisto and the other is my best friend. Hopefully they can wait 4 days so I can be here for that event...I have always being there for the deliveries of the puppies(real puppies) do not want to miss on that.

of lights and dogs

2007-07-24T05:45:00.000-07:00

Since I bought my house I now there are some things going around which I have deal quite well...for an insane guy. First there were the presence of someone lurking in the room, who even dare to lay down in bed with me. Then there were the firefly like lights...which scare the hell out of me the first time. But lately the dogs are being restless at odd time in the morning, in which moments I feel movement in the outside(hopefully not a stoker). Last night the room light up completely with a wing shape light for about 2 minutes...WTF...or...OMG. Luckily I was not alone so it was not a dream. Ever since I started working on the gardens things are more welcoming...I though I was joking about the druid thingie. I used to be more a tune in a galaxy far away a long time ago...maybe something is coming back or I am coming back.

is it Monday?

2007-07-23T05:32:00.000-07:00

No matter how organized I am there are two variables that completely mess up my equations: work and my mother. This weekend I let work cancel out my best friend. I am not proud of it but I think is my nature. I am not going to blame no one because I know ppl. I am just so fucking frustrated that I let her down. Beside being up all night and then receiving calls early in the morning I got so tired that I just needed it a bed and then some Potter.
With half a brain in function I became Dear Abby or something. There seems to be an epidemic of break outs so BEWARE!! D things can and will get better...Al just hang in there it can't rain forever...Busta just thanks...Moe you are an accident waiting to happen...J & A you are so sweet that you make me sick(in a good way) don't change and thanks for a great meal and company.
Clear the air in some personal issues that were over due. Hopefully I can try to enjoy some company or companionship.

Wildfire
Sonata Arctica

Oh, why are we so sad?
Are we feeling hurt by their evil eyes
and all those empty words?
We are thirsty for payback?
What would we like to do with the town?
Would we like to make it... dance? With the Animal?
Would we? WOULD WE?!
Tell us what we would like to do.
... burn it... burn it all...

Burn honey, burn, let the fire eat away
I never liked the look of this town
Burn it down now
I'll run, they all know what I've done
I fetch my gear and take my leave from this mountain

I never had a chance to prove I wasn't guilty,
I always seemed to get blamed for
Every little crime, I didn't even have a name for...

Still running, still defeated in my mind
I never even tried to defend my own pride
The father ain't always like the son
They claim we've purloined, I'm not the one...

The story always goes, when the anger within
Builds up for too long...
Takes us over...
And we all are forced to obey, hey...

It was a match made in Hell,
now the whole mountain burns
and every man gets what no man deserves

Our beloved kin never learned to fit in
Now I pay for my name, live my life in sin
How much less can I ask from you people?
This town stays in disarray
'til the rules are the same for us all, hey...

I've ran on this mountain, with no guilt of my own
The trees and the rocks, every cave, every hole
I dropped them a line, "beware, this mountain will
blow in your face. My last saving grace..."

Bells toll all over the town, burn, burn until it's all gone
Game over, what was a bad joke is now a reality show...

Are we all forced to obey... Are we ALL are forced to obey...

I climbed up the mountain,
and dug a grave for each day of pain,
it's in the past, this moment's so frail...
I am what you made me
With years of abuse, So burn!!!!

This is a match made in Hell,
now the whole mountain burns
and every man gets what no man deserves

Our beloved kin never learned to fit in
Now I pay for my name, live my life in sin
How much less can I ask from you people?
This town stays in disarray
'til the rules are the same for us all

Our beloved kin
Now I pay for my name
How much less can I ask from you people?
I hereby declare a martial law
and you all, we all are forced to obey... hey!

Ups, downs and around

2007-07-17T05:37:00.000-07:00

I will try to have a good attitude towards the things I can not change...if I keep repeating that to myself I might start to believe it. But God why do you have to test me so hard? Good intentions are bullshit, posite thought are useless, ACTIONS move the world. Ppl should spend more time doing, making, putting ideas into motion instead of just talking and wasting air. But once again I have to admit that if everyone act like that then I am the one who must be wrong. Wrong of trying to behave like a responsable human being. Wrong of expecting support. Wrong of believing other ppl can have critical thinking. So I will admit I am wrong on putting trust somewhere beside me.
Teaching myself how to take care of plants and having a good time doing it(who knew?). I am finally spending time outside the house :o I think the neighbors are getting worry lol

Friday 13th

2007-07-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

This is a well balance week, last Saturday was 7/7/7 and today is Friday 13th. Life is trying to reach a middle point or something...hmmm Since I did not got lucky hopefully I won't get (more) bad luck. The druid/Ranger is in full motion I was able to bring back to life a rose plant and another tree/bush that the gardener buthcer a few months ago. WARNNING: EMOTIONS AHEAD Yesterday I went to water the plants and I saw a little green on the pot that have, what I though was a lost cause, death pices of wood for the past 3 weeks. Thinking it was jsut grass I bend to pick it out. For my surprise they were leaf on the base of the trunk. I look for someone to share the news and the only ones there were the dogs. So I went and share the happy news with them. I was on the floor with four dogs fighting for attention. I also saw improvement on a rose that was deprive of leaf. It took me more than 2 years but I am learning the basic of plant growing...Everything has two sides lol

www.hostdrjack.com

:-O_ _ _ _

2007-07-11T06:21:00.000-07:00

Why the Hell did I wait so long to see Pirates of the Caribbean? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! The movie is so freaking good. So many things happening my eyes were everywhere. Perfect timing for my so bored existence. The only fault is that I probably won't be able to see it again in the theater...maybe. Please someone bring D&D back to my life...maybe I should >:|
Work irrelevant at the moment trying to keep the I don't care attitude, house same ups and downs, personal life...having one, not the perfect one but one. I need something to focus my energy on even if it is the bad one. If I can not find the lost arc maybe I can find a desolated island in the process.
Liking myself a lot but piss at too many things around me. Full fill, NEVER and I have to deal with that. Perhaps it is my high expectations or the never ending flow of ideas that come to my head. Whatever it is I know for a fact that I will never be satisfied with nothing or no one. At least I will have goals until the day I day or my goals kill me :s

2007-07-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

Which Horror Movie Are You?

Ginger Snaps

You are ready to move on with your life and become a whole other person. You are tired of what you used to be, you need to introduce some excitment into your life, however you can. Whether this means taking up a new a job, or a whole new identity, you want to leave who you used to be at the door, and break out of your shell, becoming a whole new person.

Is that a hint or something?? Frustration is beggining to take a tool on me so I will try my best to ignore and keep on walking. I will not try to make things right, if you like to breath shit them for all means stuff yourself. Why should I care if no one does. I will just live and let die.

Friday??

2007-07-06T05:47:00.000-07:00

Well the week is over and I am looking forward to spend some quality time in my house alone or with company, wherever the wind blows. Seriously thinking of getting out of the house so I can go on new venues, but not sure yet. I am not sure if it is the time of the year or something else...I will keep track. I can not see where I am going, is like driving while falling asleep, you open your eyes and find yourself farther but you don't know how or when is going to end.
A batch of new faces is hatching lets see if they have the longevity the become more or will they disappear in the mist like distant memories.

Sometimes...

2007-07-05T06:59:00.000-07:00

Should I feel rage or pity towards the ppl that can't or are unable to live to my so Godly expectations? I am aware that I do expect allot from the ppl around me, and of course I know that my expectations are unrealistic by mortal standards. But I refuse to lower them...then what are my options?
1.Stop winning because no one can satisfied me
2.Keep crushing souls in the wake of my rage for their stupidity
3.Ignore, Delete, Restart
4.Cease waiting for a Big Bang

I closed myself a long time ago and now I know why. Is not the pain of being hurt is the frustration of being disappointed. I can handle suffering but I am a bitch when it comes down to be let down. The worse part is that only I notice those times, ppl are so single minded or just plain...well plain that they do not even realize something is wrong and when they do catch something is out of place, they tend to point to another direction.

Until September these will be frustrating months...

Yesterday my mother and stepfather celebrated their 28th anniversary, man that is some give and take relationship. But it does work for them. If only dogs lasted that long...

Middle of 07

2007-07-02T06:01:00.000-07:00

After a month of no going to the movies I went to see FF Rise of the Silver Surfer...Is Stan Lee so desperate of attention that he is willing to sacrifice quality over a few seconds on screen. I am not a hard core fan of the FF and even I could see the mayor violations done to that story. And lets say for the sake of the argument that I went to see it as just a movie then it just plain sucks!
Besides that I did some cleaning on the garden..not much
House keeping...while it last
Getting tire of being there for everyone, I am about to turn into the Mar's Storms and blow everyone in my path. Not fair to be the One and never have a one. I do not have a problem to be a lone wolf but if you are trying to be part of my pack act like you mean it. Run beside me, hunt with me, sleep under the same fullmoon, cry under the same rain. I only ask for you to share my experiences, my journey, my life.

back

2007-06-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

You scored as Sorceress, Your a sorceress. You cast a spell on people the first time you meet them, and you love for them to depend on you. You get upset when things don't go your way. Well, guess what, your in for a shock, 'cause you don't always get what you want.

Dragon

100%

Sorceress

100%

Drow

92%

Vampyre

92%

Wolf

83%

Goddess

67%

Shadow Spirit

67%

Faerie

50%

Elf

42%

Zombie

33%

What ancient breed are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Long days and even longer nights. Still waiting for my body to shut down for 12 hours or so. Trying to get the mind juices running, no I am not planning on killing someone. I just pick up the damn pencil and notebook and started writing. Still do not know the direction I am heading with it. It might be a module, a short story, a poem or jus some random thoughts. A deserve outburst for the storms in my head. On more normal news: I am making a few designs for the Pack housing and play ground. They will share the space with the garden wanna be. Also deciding what change will be more interesting(for me) in the front yard. Not looking for painting since the asshole I have for a contractor still haven’t finish the freaking job. I am more convince that my breed was spread trough the four corners of the planet so we couldn’t dominate it. I had meet a bunch of old souls like mine and I am grateful for that. Just wish they were not so distant or unreachable. For now I will keep astral traveling or net surfing you pick.

A month in oblivion

2007-06-04T05:33:00.000-07:00

Not going to make the epic novel about the past month and its turmoils. Lets just say that I am getting back to a normal schedule and having a life after work. Being a slave to expectations is a tiresome duty. Under achievers have all the fun, no one expect anything from them and their littlest effort is perceive as a triumph. Stupidity should be a crime punish by death so the worthy can live on a better World. Useless crap should be dump in the nearest junkyard so it can rot away without being seeing or smell.

Dance of death-Iron Maiden

Let me tell you a story to chill the bones
About a thing that I saw
One night wandering in the everglades
I'd one drink but no more

I was rambling, enjoying the bright moonlight
Gazing up at the stars
Not aware of a presence so near to me
Watching my every move

Feeling scared and I fell to my knees
As something rushed me from the trees
Took me to an unholy place
And that is where I fell from grace

Then they summoned me over to join in with them
To the dance of the dead
Into the circle of fire I followed them
Into the middle I was led

As if time had stopped still I was numb with fear
But still I wanted to go
And the blaze of the fire did no hurt upon me
As I walked onto the coals

And I felt I was in a trance
And my spirit was lifted from me
And if only someone had the chance
To witness what happened to me

And I danced and I pranced and I sang with them
All had death in their eyes
Lifeless figures they were undead all of them
They had ascended from hell

As I danced with the dead
My free spirit was laughing and howling down at me
Below my undead body
Just danced the circle of dead

Until the time came to reunite us both
My spirit came back down to me
I didn't know if I was alive or dead
As the others all joined in with me

By luck then a skirmish started
And took the attention away from me
When they took their gaze from me
Was the moment that I fled

I ran like hell faster than the wind
But behind I did not glance
One thing that I did not dare
Was to look just straight ahead

When you know that your time has come around
You know you'll be prepared for it
Say your last goodbyes to everyone
Drink and say a prayer for it

When you're lying in your sleep, when you're lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the dead
When you're lying in your sleep, when you're lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the dead

To this day I guess I'll never know
Just why they let me go
But I'll never go dancing no more
'Til I dance with the dead

Recharged

2007-04-30T06:37:00.000-07:00

Last week was filled with stress, work, disappointment and I couldn't care less. Saturday night was worth the wait. At 5:30 pm I realize there was no water(again) so I had to picked all the tools for the tune up and drove to my mother's house to take a bath. Drove to work so I could park in a safe place and took the "Tren Urbano" to the Choliseo(local stadium). It was my first time to that place and I was pleasantly surprise at the organization. Once inside well is a stadium, if you want to drink a piña colada $6.00, a can beer $5.00, only the powers that be know the prices for wine, cocktails and all the stuff I saw ppl drinking. At 9:23 pm the lights dim and the sound of "Funeral for a Friend" filled the stadium, this is where I got impress with the Choliseo the sound is fantastic. Wearing a red shirt, a long black coat, with a drawing on the back of the coat of himself sitting in a rocket to the moon Sir Elton John entered the stage and performed "Love, Lies, Bleeding" after that nothing else mattered. I was in a place where nothing could reach me except for the sound of tha master pianist and his voice. Rocket Man, Candle in the Wind, Burn down the Mission, Sorry since ti be the hardest word, The bitch is back, Saturday, I'm still standing, and so many more gave me all my money's worth. Not only did he performed outstanding but we added some arrangement that made old songs not so old. After 2 hours and 20 minutes of none stop music he said farewell and I have and more accomplishment in my life.

a new face

2007-04-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

After so long and meaningless nights I finally develop a new side that I did not knew I had it in me. It took me two days of manual labor, utilizing tools that I still do not know their names, buying things describing them with childlike precision...but it is done. I fix my master's bathroom toilet!!!!! and so I can say that I am officially a 0 level handyman. Of course I had a pool in the bathroom and I ran out of towels to keep the water check. I had to borrow tools since I do not have any! But all my cursing and winning paid off...I am not useless in house maintenance.
I had training the whole week for the may upgrade + working on final touches for the new facility + day to day crap + a flesh eating fungus, a little tire but no burn out.
I went to the dermatologist because I though that my perfume was giving me an allergic reaction but as soon as she saw me she told me it was "paño"(fungus). At least I know I can smell different again. She gave a cream(not cheap) and antibiotics(really cheap) and an appointment for 3 weeks. While I waited in the office this fruity lawyer(or so he claim) was making calls and discussing cases out loud. He was talking about drugs, assassinations, fugitives and he was driving everyone insane specially the old people that were getting freak by the conversation. Thankfully he made eye contact and could read my intentions.
I need to do house cleaning this weekend and hopefully rest, rest and rest.

Friday the 13th

2007-04-13T10:38:00.000-07:00

If we did not have bad luck how could we have any luck? Enjoy or suffer the rest of the day, but whatevere you do please keep away from little leprachauns and pixies. With the visare thing I call life, today(so far) has been a lucky day. With (finally) good news at work and from the Contractor(yes he's still alive). Tonight a movie fest for me and myself.

Spring Break update

2007-04-12T05:12:00.000-07:00

Last week I took a well deserve rest from work. I decided not to travel outside the island but instead do some local tourism. Since I am still a little laszy I havent download the pics form my camera so next time I will post some. I took Satyrday to clean the house+dogs+car. I went a little druid on the back yard and relocated some plants plus I bought two rose bushes to add some color to the barren landscape. Sunday I did a Closer marathon follow by a 24 mini marathon. On Monday I started my ride near Caguas, I went to Guavate and kept on driving till I reach a beautiful place with a stream, birds singing, cloudy day perfect to walk and enjoy the view. The only thing I regret was not having a book and nurishment so I could stay a little longer. The communion with Nature was great with no ppl around to bother or break the magic. Tuesday I went to Arecibo to La Cueva del Indio, I took a friend along so I wouldnt felt asleep. Getting there was half the fun and a nice ride since there was no traffic. The place is a huge rock near the coast where you can walk and go down to what look like a little cave. The waves crash constanlty and the sound, wind and sun where a refreshing experience. Tuesday I tried to go to a Mariposorio in Guayama. The road to get there is quiet and I was able to have a nice view of a factory and the coast. Once in Guayama the journey to get to the Mariposorio wasnt over since the place is in a barrio far away in the mountains, but once I arrive they were close, so I kept on driving to Ponce(just for the fun of it). Went to the typical places and headed back to Caguas. Wedsnday my cousin, his wife and their 5 children came to visit for a few days. Spend the afternoon with a friend in San Juan, Condado and Carolina then to my aunt's house to have some family time.
Thursday and Friday took it slow, I went to visit my mother, spend some time with my father and watch TV. I also went to see The Reaping on Friday, is an ok movie, predictable, linear but with good special effects so I guess it is made for America.
Saturday did some shopping and took a chance to eat some sea food, I am very allergic to everything sea related but I am using myself as a guinea pig for a experiment which I think is going well(at least I am still alive).
Sunday went to Las Cavernas de Camuy, wow, that is the only way to describe what I felt there. Is another world once you go down that road and the cold breeze touch your skin. I was took by surprise by all the images, I need to go back to really enjoy it.
The ranger in me is very happy at this moment. I needed it to go back to my simple self and enjoy my simplicity. Maybe I am not such a lost cause after all.

weekend??

2007-03-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

Are Saturday and Sunday over? It seems like I have been in my office all these days, wait a minute I had!! On Friday night I received a call telling me there was an issue with the system. Since it was 10:40pm I knew no one was at the office eto solve the problem, so I had to drive from my house to the Institution. I was here until 1 am in the morning but I solve the problem. Saturday morning my employee called me to ask me another random stupid question, which piss me so much that I did not went back to sleep. I went to Denny's and eat like a pig for breakfast. Around 6:00 pm I get a called from work with another biggie. After a close encounter of the worse kind with the person who was supposed to be on call, I came down for another 2 hours of work. Sunday morning at 8:00 am another call woke me up. So I started my Sunday very early. Went in a frenzy cleaning mode, interrupted by the oh so annoying calls from work, since no one else called on Sunday. Now my nose hurts from all the hidden dust that went into my body. Hopefully the week will take a turn for the best.

friday 23

2007-03-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was the birthday of the most amazing woman I know, my mother. I called her at 8:00am to wish her a happy day and many surprises on her day. Then I went to her house at mid day with a beautiful orchid that I bought her. She looked happy. SO with many greetings from family and friends she had a wonderful, retired birthday. I am returning to workaholic mode because of the big projects ahead. So lets see if the resolutions for this year do not go down the drain.
Meet a few nice ppl over the net, apparently I am more approachable when ppl do not get afraid of me lol. So for meeting and getting to know ppl I do recommend de net, beside being yourself and do not have any expectation what so ever about no one. People can surprise you if you give them the chance only problem is meeting ppl so far and apart but is worth the while. Now lets see if I can keep in touch.

What a week!!!

2007-03-19T05:23:00.000-07:00

Last week was jigsaw of events and emotions. The week started with a Bang between my boss and the Administration. Finally the Administration is seeing through the web of lies and bad judgement that sums up my boss. They are double checking every word he said and questioning every move he had made. Hopefully this means a change in the way things are running around here. After that the scope of the word I have to do between now and may was revealed to me. There is a lot to do so we can comply to some Federal changes that are due on may. Thanks to, guess who?, my boss we are a little late and behind schedule on that.
On Wednesday I was blessed(yes I said BLESSED) to meet a little kender call Joshua. He is supposed to be a 5 years old kid but actually he must be a 250 years old kender. He was born with his legs cross and had been to surgery four times to correct the problem. Now he walks with the help of a walker. This will be his fifth operation and the last one, hopefully. The kid has a positive attitude that could teach a lot of us the stop wining. He is being raise by his grandparents, which he calls mom and dad, since his birth mother did not want to deal with the situation and his father die. He lifted the spirit of everyone in that waiting room and made cry a few older woman with his spirit an cunning. The only thing that bother me was that he is in a Special Education room because of his legs...the kid has a brilliant and fast mind, anyone that take the time to spend five minutes with him can see that, what is wrong with our Department of Education...Why every handicap persons is automatically assume to have mental disabilities? ppl start doing your job and stop treating handicap persons like a mob. Anyway hope I can see Joshua's father running after him one day.
Went to see 300 nice cinematography, great special effects and awesome bodies everywhere. For me, much better than Sin City. Even though you know how is going to end you can't help but wanting to end different. A must see for every fan out there. I also saw to trailers that caught my attention Pathfinder is a story based on vikings against native Americans and the next install of Resident Evil, something very wrong happened in Las vegas.

Back from the undead

2007-03-05T06:51:00.000-08:00

Last week I got an infection that brought me down for a well deserved rest. If it was not for the constant shivering, fever and not eating it would have been a pleasant time. Thanks to a very well manner doctor I was able to get out of that state quite fast. Lost 5 pounds and one week of gym...which means one week of getting back to where I was. Thanks to those who called, sometimes I need a reminder of who cares.
Mother in Super mom mode...went to my house and did an Enriquesta cleaning on the house. Father in whatever state he gets that he called almost everyday, almost. Doggies bitching since I am not spending as much time as they are used to with them.
Rented The Covenan+ not even worth it if you are sick. Good ideas bad, bad, bad execution. You cant base a movie in special effects no matter what Episodes 1 -3 tell you. I rather watch 2 hours of Charmed reruns than this movie again. Saw "Stick it" it was on cable and I was bored enough to watch it...if you are bore and is a free movie not that bad. Nothing great but at least it helps pass time. Is a parody of the gymnastic world, it has it moments.
Back to the real world.

Believe it or not

2007-02-24T12:50:00.000-08:00

Yes I am posting on a Saturday because The only employee that I have on Saturday called me at 6:45am telling me she was sick and could not make it to work...Who am I supposed to call at that time to tell them to get to work at 8:00 am. Did I mention that her free days are Sunday and Monday...things that make you go hmmm.Anyway the morning was quite interesting with bug to clean from one of the programs and then some random users paraphernalia. The rest of the afternoon, well down hill. At least I was able to burn some cd and do some need it ebay surfing. The Dr is acting kind of crazy this days(crazier than usual) and the Mc I hope don't get any ideas. Is it so hard to understand that what I say IS what I mean? Why do ppl have to asked the same thing over again like I was kidding the first 20 times. I AM NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!!! In fact I am so simple that ppl get confused. Is not my fault...is the others' guys fault.
No I am hearing noises in the department and I am the only one here...shadows too...I will call it a day now.

another Friday

2007-02-23T06:11:00.000-08:00

One busy week at work. Calls, complains, brainless mass of meat, the usual. Taking care of my new babies, trying not to get too attach...doing a miserable job at that. Playing with them, getting down and dirty(what would the High elves think?). The albino one I think is kind of blind and wasn't eating properly so I am manually feeding him twice a day, this morning he looked in much better shape, hopefully he is out of danger. The mother fucker of the guy that still ha vent finish the work at home called me to telling me to drop everything because he will eventually get the job done...who the hell does he think I am. Like I am going to be so stupid to drop the case. Getting tired of many satellites in my life, trying to reform the ruins of my existence, not ad easy task but brick by brick.

Friday not the 13th

2007-02-16T04:20:00.000-08:00

Friday is here and I am ready for it. After a drama week at the office the Devils' advocate came to the surface and I am at the top again. Let the infirior beings run and tremble from the shadow the my presence impose. Still trying to get out of a gun point date, but I know I can crush even the more oblivious.
Is interesting the ppl you meet when you gice them a chance. This week I have meet 3 guys that like a lot of the same stuff I like:metal, anime, rpgs, video games, Heroes! It has been quite easy for us to get along and talk for hours. Which means my bread is out there but apparently we are all inside our houses lol Will try to keep in touch with them, who knows maybe I can still make new friends.

Happy Valentine

2007-02-14T09:37:00.000-08:00

your dragon self (stunning pics and detailed results)

You Are A Red Dragon, and, sorry to say, but this is bad! You are capricious, umpridictable, and greedy. You would travel very long distances to enlarge your treasure, and you would remember evry little coin and artifact in your loot. You live in caverns in hight moutains and consider anythings over 100km around your nest as your propriety. You hate humans and attack them as soon as they get in your sight. You will destroy and plunder the villages located on your territory and order the sacrifice of a virgin . You are are very fierce and cruel, but if a human gets to gain your trust(and if you didn't roast him before), you will be the best ally possible. You don't use a lot of magic, you are very smart and you breath fire.stone: rubyquote:"I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry" from Maxine Waters,you control: fire
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mini vacations

2007-02-12T03:52:00.000-08:00

Finally I was able to relax and more important sleep. This past weekend I decided to do nothing, and nothing...more or less I did(or did not). My weekend started on Friday since my boss did not appeared to work. I took the day to catch up with my emails and sites that I have not touch in quite a while. Talk to a few ppl at work(yes this is a weird year) I even got an early Valentines invitation, someone was trying to get head start, lol. Got home and let the bartender loose. Prepare 2 or 3 margaritas or bombs and called it a night. Saturday was a photo shoot with the pack...pictures will come later. Played with them almost all morning until I think they got sick of me. Played Suikoden 2 for most of the afternoon and watch AnimeNetwork the rest of the day. Saturday night is a blurr I just know I stay home and fall asleep. Sunday received a call from V she sounded like she was having a good time, good for her and her hubby. I was tired of being in my house so I took the Ghoul and went to burn some gas. I ended up in a nice place called Don Jose in Aguas Buenas, I think, is a mix of a "lechonera" and restaurant. Very typical place with a wonderful old fashion chandelier, forgot the camera sorry, many antiques pieces around gave quite a nice atmosphere. The service was ok I will say because of the rush of ppl that appear suddenly. I will go back so I can recorded and to give it a second chance at service.

Feels good to be enjoying myself, not that perverts!, but to be able to breath fresh air once in a while. Specially after Xmas which I hit rock bottom. Need to work on that because each year gets worse. But for now the days are not so dark...unless I want them to be.

two down

2007-02-06T04:24:00.000-08:00

Thursday was my selfish day off. Woke up went I felt like it, took care of my babies and their babies. Did some cleaning around the house and just played the whole afternoon. Forgot to do grocery shopping so I settle for Chinese to go. Friday was a busy morning then took off to Aguadilla to pick V's wedding cakes...there were cars on top cars the whole way thru. I really want it to stop in Arecibo's lighthouse along the way but hey it was getting late. After a looooong journey to Mayaguez the quest to find shelter begun. For some reason a disconnected the fact that the Candelaria and Fiestas Patronales were the same thing. Found shelter in the last place I check and went to deliver the goodies. What can be describe as a Martha Steward moment a bunch of hands were doing many finishing touches to some V' s ideas into the late hours. I just went to the hotel and crash. I was pissed because the TV was put but then again I was so tired I couldn't have watch it even if it was ok. Did not have a good nigth sleep the fucking AC didn't work as one should expect so I was getting hot or cold the whole night. Got out early morning to see if I could see some old friends from Colegio, only saw one. We talk a while and went down...way down memory lane. After accepting the fate that I was chofer/butler/doormat went to find the elusive white socks...don't ask. Took Anthony and the cakes to church went back to pick V and delivered her to church. I had close encounters of the very weird kind in church. After Sara arrive the ceremony began. It was a simple nice ceremony. The priest looks like a cool guy, no wonder the beverage(VA=V8, never mind) like to go there so much. After the ceremony then all hell got loose. Why do I like to have a plan? because I like to know what is going to happen and be prepare for it. Why didn't I ate lunch? because I was going to stuff myself with meat(...you know what I mean). It was a good act of V's father to invited them to dinner it was a bad execution the rest. After the awkward dinner was over we went back to the aunties so they could finished packing. Since Joe was in Mayaguez for the wedding I gave him a ride to SJ...you want to know something he is the best co-pilot ever!!! I was afraid I might fall asleep driving but thanks to him I was alert must of the trip. Arrive home at 1:30am they had to be at the airport at 7:00 am...I wen to sleep and opened my eyes at 6:55am...drove them to the airport in chofer mood again, it was Sunday so they got there on time...hopefully. Ate a five meat sandwich and went home to sleep until 2:00 pm Since I didn't do the groceries, I think I ate care for dinner. Monday was a busy day catching up on 3 days off and trying to finish some details at work. The highlight of the day Heroes I am hook with that series/soap opera. Tuesday will be the day to visit the parents. I cant say I have been bored.

last day on January

2007-01-31T03:57:00.000-08:00

A very busy week at work lots of projects and a blackout on the main center was enough to have me running yesterday like a mouse in a cat party. Still trying to get used to some changes at the office and the all mighty incompetent boss...is hard to be me in an imperfect world.
The first month is gone already? That was fast, it seems as if as you get older the years go faster.
People a condom is cheaper than any treatment or ailment so why don't you used it? I will hate to have to give support to someone that got sick for been stupid. I can be a very good friend but I am blunt as a giant. Is not just the moment is your whole life and maybe someone else life that you are playing with. Have all the fun you want, I am up for that, but be safe about it OK!
There is also a lot of places you can go and get tested for free for HIV and STD go so at least you can know for sure.Anything treated on time can lead to better way of life.

One down, one to go

2007-01-29T03:40:00.000-08:00

Last week was a busy one. On top of my normal load of work I was given 5 new projects, 2 which have a deadline of February 9, 2007 the other due on march...be careful what you wish for. My boss reassign the Help Desk to another person. I felt bad at first then decided to let it go less stress for me..but then the Coordinator had a meeting with me and my boss to explain her plans for the new year and all she did what talk dirt about the HD and her supervisor(ME!) it almost made me forget my resolution but I just put her in her place with my natural ability to be sarcastic and proper :) So one less thing for me to worry at work now the HD is on her own with her Coordinator. I work overtime to get some bugs fix which off course no one took care during my vacations. But actually I am back to enjoying getting to the office, and all it took was one quick resolution.
Also following with the list of things I should not put off I call a friend which I had deleted from my circle. He is an ok guy it just that sometimes I can be a little bastard and ppl don't get it. Is not that I am evil(which I am not denying either) is just that I see things differently. Next step is trying to get close to my blood related family...still wondering if it is even worth a try. Luckily for me I have two branches to reach I just need the continuity to grap one. Is that or lose all contact with blood once my mom and dad pass away.
On Saturday was Sony and Tony 's (it sound like a merengue group)weeding. I was the official Best Man. The priest knew them and he was able to deliver a service really custom made for the family. Not many ppl went to the church they appear at the reception(why??) Finally I meet friends of Sony that I have heard for years and didn't knew...and all night I kept on hearing:"where is the famous Quevedo?" The highlight of the ceremony...the Photographer. What a freaking character, at least noone will be serious in the pictures. The important thing was they look happy.
Sunday drove to Aguadilla to meet the A and V(beverage anyone?) for the cake. I decided to eat so I wouldnt get sugar crazy over cakes...didn't work. After taking the loooooooong way to get there and a called to the surfer dude we reach our destination. The surfer was useless so we have to wait until today to find out about the deal. But we did get some tasting...one I got 2 pieces of cake and one 3 leches...sugar rush. Took the long way to get home did some site seeing with the light that was available, forgot the camera, my bad. Got home and was able to watch 45 minutes of tv before collapsing.
Today got to work at 6:30am...and I have nothing more to say

Ghost Week

2007-01-18T04:12:00.000-08:00

So back to the office has been quite interesting...many changes plans(which I don't know if they will come true)...ppl attitude much better than last year(watching my back for hidden knives)...boss still the same useless piece(dah!). Also this week phantom of the past are reappearing for an encore or something. Lets call her the Editor...she was a maelstrom in the middle of a boring cruise. Good talker, nice listener, intelligent...the bad part too clingy, too fast, too soon. She reappear on Monday asking, talking, talking and talking. Guess she need it some positive feedback or something. Also on Monday a got a message from, lets call her Energiser Bunny...she was a spark of electricity. Funny and easy going...but a nut case. She was hinting on old emotions and experience which I didn't remember or didn't felt the same way about it. On Tuesday the guys from Ponce call to ask if I had plans to try to get the campaign going this year, WHAT THE FUCK!!!! No "hi. how you being? How you doing?" so I politely told them NO. Yesterday got an email form an friend that is living on the State which I ha vent heard for almost 2 years now. Maybe this is the year to reach and touch someone(lets rephrase that). Maybe someone is telling me to make an effort to reconnect with ppl I took for granted and they are a lot. I want to have some ppl around to do stuff, not close friends but at least options to be able to go out or invite home.

Out of the 9th Gate of Hell

2007-01-15T04:27:00.000-08:00

I'm still alive
Must have been a miracle
It's been a hell of ride
Destination still unknown
It's a fact of life:
If you make one wrong move with the gun to your head
You better walk the line or you'll be left for dead

I'm a runaway train on broken track
I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
As long as I got blood rush trough my veins
I'm still alive

Lost in the night
Feeling so invisible
Oh, a dead man walking the wire
I have broke the devils net
That's made of fire
And it's a long way down from the top of the world
You better look around or you gonna get burned

I'm a runaway train on broken track
I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
And as the dust wheels look in my eyes
I'm still alive
I'm still alive

The darkest night ain't black enough
To keep the morning light from shinin'
The highest wall ain't tall enough
To keep the smallest man from climbin'

The more that you resist the tide
The more it pulls you in
The more you hang on for your life

(I'm a runaway train on broken track)
(I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time)
(that's right)
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive

I'm a runaway train on broken track
I'm a ticker on a bomb, you can't turn back this time
That's right
I got away with it all and I'm still alive
Let the end of the world come tumbling down
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
And if my saddle is all that survives
I'm still alive
I'm still alive...

Well that can sum up how I feel today. Xmas/New year thanks God is over and done. I was in a bottomless pit for most of the holidays and I wont go into details but thanks to the ppl that help me get through it. Basically I got a deserving rest that refull my body and soul. I think I was able to reach one of my goals which was to reconnect with my inner kender. Problem is that kenders can be a ray of sunshine when they are happy but a drill in the head when they are sad...not easy being me. At least the new year will be fill with new beginnings my two best friends are getting marry, Heroes and Rome new seasons, new resolutions(ones I think I can keep) and hope...yes I said hope...will see

Black Monday

2006-12-19T05:36:00.000-08:00

I guess Xmas is here because I got the rain last night. Out of nowhere without any type of sign the train hit me fast and hard. I was just looking at the fucking like a virgin xmas tree and all damn things I keep inside came rushing out...so frustrating to have so much and feel so little. My head hurts like daylight, dont know if it is the wine, the crying or the migrane...oh God let it be migrane so I have an excuse to lock myself during the holidays. I dont think I hate xmas but I dont love them either. yes I know the our savior was born but why do ppl have to act like they are in Plesantville, if you are not in a merry mood, fake it? I will try to stop the bashing until january at least. Hopefully I will be in a better mood once the vac. get start. Thanks V for allways being a big ear
We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose..

And we all know frosty who's made out of snow..

But all of those stories seem kind of, Gay..

Cos we all know who brightens up our holiday..

Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo

Small and Brown, he comes from you

Sit on the toilet, here he comes

Squeeze him tween your festive buns!

A present from down below

Speading joy with a 'howdy ho'!

He's seen the love inside of you

Cos he's a piece of poo!

Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny

He can be brown, or greenish-brown

But if you eat fibre on Christmas Eve

He might come to your town..

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo

He loves me, I love you

Therefore vicariously, he loves you

'I can make a Mr Hankey too'!

Cartman: 'Well Kyle, where is he?'

Kyle: 'Uh, he's coming..'

Stan: 'Come on dude, Push!'

Kyle: 'I'm trying'

Cartman: 'Wait Wait! I can see his head'

Kyle: 'Here he comes..'

Mr Hankey: 'HOWDY HO!'

I'm Mr Hankey, the Christmas poo..

Seasons greetings to all of you..

Lets sing songs, and dance, and play..

Now, before I melt away..

Here's a game I like to play..

Stick me in your mouth and try to say..

'Howdy ho ho, yum yum yum

Christmas time has come!'

Sometimes he's runny, sometimes he's firm

Sometimes he practically water..

Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass

And wont fall in the toilet,

cos he's just clinging to your sphincter

And he wont drop off, and so you shake your ass around..

And try to get it to drop in the toilet

And finally it does..

Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo

Christmas leaves, he must leave too..

Flush him down, but he's never gone,

His smell and his spirit lingers on.

Howdy ho!

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just one more week

2006-12-15T04:01:00.000-08:00

One more week before my vacations finally arrive. I just need to survive 5 working days and I am out of here until Jan. Trying to keep a little hope in humanity for the rest of the year since there is only 16 days to go, I think I can manage. At least I have not get depress this season, that is something nice. Not in a merry mood either but hey I have to be me. Have a few home projects ahead lets see if I finally get them done. I just found this on youtube and it made me feel all fuzzy inside enjoy

Two more weeks

2006-12-11T09:06:00.000-08:00

My weekend can be summarize as a trouble free one. Friday night was just me my margaritas and TV. Went early to sleep...Really early. Woke up at 7 something am with the rush to do the garden so I did it. Took me less than I expected but I will need to give it TLC for it to get where is suppose to be. I might relocate the cactus so I can be more creative on the front...Xtmas project anyone? Decided to go gas burning so I feed all my animals and took off. Went to Cayey not much to see there, kept going south and found a nice bakery with many, many, many sweets I like but only took 3 cheescake, corn muffin and "quesito". Kept on driving pass Ponce because I wanted to take some pics at an old factory I also like..But on my overly spontaneous outburst forgot the cam >< oh well. Call V and Anthony to see if I was able to deliver a long overdue visit luckly I catch them. Ate more sweet with them(yes I was in a very good mood). Actually had to cut my visit short because it was a big day for Anthony and didnt want to be the third wheel(sorry but I wont trade places je,je,je). Since I didnt want to go the northen route decided to go back the same way. Javi called and he was in Ponce so I ended up entering the town to talk with him for a while when I was there Will called crying because a friend has die. So we did everything we could to calm him down. Since that was not working I took my Ghoul to Carolina to see if he was ok. After making sure he was ok and with food in his belly I went home. Aparently I do have a network of ppl cause they were calling thanking for making sure Will was ok...they could have done the same thing but...
Sunday was supposed to be the day the lights were going to be put...but decided to wash the black and reorganize the aquariums. Then some random conversations and in the evening finally took the lights and tested them...all of them in perfect order. So today if nothing distract me I will put the Xmat decor. Maybe I will put something in the front yard not sure what yet.

2006-12-06T08:17:00.000-08:00

Days go by and sometimes I feel like I was abducted by aliens. Weekends come and go and for some reason they pass without leaving any residue..hmmm Almos one week to the deadline the contractor has to finish the job and very little had been done...guess I see myself in court again in January. Can not wait for my vacations to arrive need to rot with a purpose, just stay in bed a few cold mornings feeling, make the cave my own one more time. Maybe plan a gathering or two, spend afternoons with my pack...just breath a little.
New cast member: Lou
First appearance: the net
Special abilities: entertaiment center, wits, blunt
WHY?: been thru Hell and still find the posite side of life
Relevance: Fresh air
Purpose: to be find out

Look at them now
What do they want?
And what do they do now?
Nothing at all!

What do they know?
What do they think?
And who do they tell?
Well, no one at all!

Lives are truely meaningless
And we are busy being blessed

With that we can take and pocket
No one needs to know
We're is the plug and they're the socket
Give us the juice and we'll go

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the animals sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!

How do they sleep?
Their lives are so tart
Bring me the trash collectors
'Cause they're nothing but trash

What do you expect?
They've got no standards
So we lower the bar
'Cause they're waiting for us

We'll open up Pandora's Box
Pandora gave her keys and locks

They're the big dogs waiting for their mother
Come to the confessional
So I can tell you all to bugger off
There's no time like now!

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the animals sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the market-place sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king...

And we'll do it our way
It's our time to play
We know what to say
They stand in our way
Don't stand in our way
No time like today...

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the anthems we sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the animals sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!

Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the chosen ones sing!
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king!
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king...

MEAT LOAF - "In The Land Of The Pigs (The Butcher Is King)"

Dancing Penguins

2006-11-20T09:44:00.000-08:00

This weekend was my so dreaded house cleansing...time to get rid of all the stuff that doesnt mean a thing but I still carried around. Letters, cards, pictures, papers(lots of them), books and many little things that had been kept for no special reason. I felt like I was trap in a gnomish contraption. I decided to work in multiple task since I couldnt finish one without another been in process...leave it to me to make a rollercoaster of cleaning a house. Sunday took the day to myself: prepared a fit for a King breakfast, watched cartoons in bed, fall asleep, wake up and went to see Happy Feet...maybe it was the alergy medicne but I laught a lot during the movie...then took myself to eat at Maccaroni Grill. Then to end the day went home took a bath and went to bed...then I realize the dogs havent eatten so got out of bed spend one hour feeding them took another shower and then went to sleep. I forgot that today is a Holiday here so I got up at 5am no cars in the highway showed me the errors of waking up so early so I arrive like 6:30 am to my office where I am sitting now writting this.

A House is not a Home

2006-11-13T06:54:00.000-08:00

Oh well another Monday morning trying to get up to date with my so called life...Still in the finishing stage of the big fucking project I have been running the past 9 days. Hopefully I will be done by tomorrow...FINALLY. But my day to day is a little falling behind and I guess I will be catching up a few more days.
For some reason I am loking at places to by in San Juan and Rio Piedras. I am begining to enjoy my solitude but there is so much more I wanted to do with a house and although I think I live only 25 minutes from SJ(which I do) ppl think that is to far away and I kind of want to be a host more often.
Spend the whole weekend doing xmast cleaning...and still will be cleaning for the rest of the week. Why, oh why do I have so much crap in my house? Is only me, isn't? Whatever I decide to do I need my pack with me:Kalisto, Dimitri, Tarja(not mine, or is she?) They are the highlight of my day even if arrive tired playing with them relaxes me as much as going to the gym.
Almost 11am time to start the show...

2006-11-08T04:39:00.000-08:00

Working 10 to 12 hours a day to finish a project has been quite fun. Changing the strategies to deal with the ppl I supervise, great idea. Have seen a difference in their attitude or maybe I am getting better at this. Boss=pig no more to say there. Sucks to go to interviews to find out they pay a misery, oh well.
New meaning to the word LIFE: Do not take for granted the little things that surround you.
Next year is the year of the Godfather...more on that later
My dream house was sold last week...it wasnt meant to be
lasy blog just to let ppl know I am well and alive

Darkness

2006-10-13T06:42:00.000-07:00

No, it isn't that I am back into depression is that all I could stand for the past 2 days was darkness. My migraine took a turn for the lets fuck your brains until you bleed. Then after it was bleeding decided to cast a regeneration/fireball/permanency loop combo that shut me down for quite a while. Even the werewolfs notice since they behave when I went to fed them. Actually I think I heard them cry last night...will make time to pamper them this weekend.
Quick recap:
In the freak show that I call life. I am the ring master, always in the center, directing, entertaining, making everyone welcome, in the spot light, always with an inviting smile, surrounding by freaks I call family and expectators...but always alone in the center. I am bless to be appreciate by the ppl I am and all of them know(or at least I hope they know) how important they are in my life, but...there is always a but, I need to feel what some feel around me. I want to rest and know that someone is watching my sleep at least for a few minutes. I need to feel the fire burning in my chest with only a spoken word. I want to explore the bottomless pit knowing there is a light waiting for me at home...
There are jobs opportunities out there 2 to be exact, dont know if this is the right time or if they are the right jobs. Dont want to mess the masters or maybe I do...
Might go to jail if the F***ing contractor does not make an apperaing act...
really need to get the counseling/psi office up an running...much later
Thankgiving week screw due to my boss getting eye surgery...and plastic surgery, think I could convincethe doc to sew his eyelids?
Falling in love with some new lyrics+sounds(about time)
...some one once send me a message that I still keep everywhere, I think it summaries who I am...
If you ever feel like crying call me I dont promise to make you laught but I can cry with you
If you one day feel like not hearing anyone call me I promise to be very still
But if one day you call and I dont answer
come to my rescue maybe I need you

R

Almost getting there

2006-10-05T10:59:00.000-07:00

Last night I got home stared the ritual of doggies, got wet since apparently was raining the whole day. I got the feeling they just wanted me to get sucking wet, even Kalisto was jumping on me instead of waiting for me to pamper her. After ending smelling like a wet dog, took a bath and went to the msn to see if my class mates had received the info I send them. For my surprise the Kender of my life was there, it had been almost 2 years since last we spoke(mostly my part I think), out of surprise I send a "Hi"...She answer back and we end up writhing/reading for almost one hour. It was like it was yesterday we had talk last. No ackwarness or hard feelings just a friendly conversation with the sassiness I expect from her but hidden agenda. After agreeing to not disappear from each other life we said goodbye. No sadness or feeling "what if?" just a plain exchange of words with a friend. Maybe that is all I need more ppl that are REALLY my friends. So maybe I will start the Get Reacquainted Crusade and get a hold of ppl that for some reason I let go.
Work...Why bother
Mother getting the 100,000 miles tuneup and a lot of things are getting out hope she will get good news when she gets out of the garage.
Father is in HYSTERICAL mode with the little men.

Master of puppets

2006-10-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

I realize a few minutes ago that today is Wednesday...Wednesday...WTF!!!!! It seems that I have been working/studying for 5 days already. My mind is every where and now where. Need to read/review/prepare paper for 6 chapters, start working on final presentation that for this class is one individual and one group, big papa left the class due to medical conditions both his and wife, closing fiscal year got mess up thank to the BEST person I have in my charge(not ironic), emergency room project got me staying here until late last night and early this morning, have 3 due dates this week (why do I even bother to have a scheduler :P) and is only Wednesday. Not that I am looking forward the weekend since I HAVE to do the lawn >:( , watch dogs/cars(actually both together would be fun).
...Of course this means I am having a great time...
Esther...Or "I felt in love because you say hi" as I like to call her is in a psycho mood because I NEVER GAVE HER A CHANCE...wtf!---Morale:never talk/help ppl in distress better to let them disappear.
I will probably buy an AC to use on Sundays and that would be my day off. Just in my room playing video games and no contact with the outside world what so ever...hmm there is an interesting idea.
The plans for Orlando seems to be going down the drain sin Sony haven't confirm anything yet so I am looking for a cheap trip to do on November.

Sick

2006-09-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

This time I am not sick of life or work I am plain vanilla SICK. Body aches, soar throat, running nose, sneezing, coughing and I think fever...Am I hallucinating? Left early yesterday from work got home no puppies or anything went straight to bed. Sleep until Almost 8 I think. The dogs were pounding at the window, yes they can do that, so I went to feed them, took a bath and went back to bed. Today came to work because I need to finish some things from college but depending on my mood/health I will leave early...
Being the Joda that I am no about the weekend past write I will, hmmm...

On Friday I got a call from Esther apparently I again overbook my schedule and I had forgot I told her we will go out that night. Told her I had two friends comings to my house and that I will have a raincheck on the date...I guess she is mad cause I haven't heard from her since. There was no way I was going to miss the witch/mage combo.Although they started their journey a little late I try not to go too deep into the Morpheum so I could hear the bells announcing their arrival. At almost 2am the wail of the banshee woke me up. After a few minutes of where the hell are you? The duo arrive at my haven. V is always a refreshing company I was a little esceptial about the mage since we haven't actually talk in years. Who knew? It was like we were in the floor of Chardon playing the old Ravenloft campaign. At least I didn't felt ackwa everything flew smoothly...A little too much since ewe end up going to bed at almost 4 am. Screw the ghoul tuneup.
Woke up...Is a mess here because even though I got up first they end up waiting for me. Got to Old San Juan and I have remember that no everyone likes to walk like me. So I made them walk from DoÃ±a Fela to la Plaza them to el Morro. The experience was incredible. The place could be in better shape but...Esto es Puerto Rico. The views, the chats and more walking lol I though V was going to melt at one point lol.
After that went to eat a HAMBURGER once again the duo kept the mood going :) Then made a mandatory stop for library(was closed), pet, moneyorder, and borders. Went home and send them or they marry(jejeje) way.
Great chemistry, love the way he treats her, love the way she looks at him I am happy for you both.
Sunday went to college to get some stuff I was suppose to do on Saturday. My boss called asking me ifIi had my employees home numbers so I could tell someone to com early...WTF on a Sunday morning no way Jose. No emergency just hisparanoiacc self.
Monday went to court to try solve theissue with the f***ing contractor, he agree in front of the judge to be done by December 15 2006..We'lll see.too much drama at work but guess what not about me YEYYYYYYY. Finally I am not part of the drama.College at night ahhh yeah I enjoy my group of collegebodiess and classes so what. I learn more of the ppl than of the class that day. And Tuesday I already wrote :P
The moral of the story is that everyone seems to be happy in our onw worlds and ways. Let the goodtimes role,

after b-day

2006-09-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

33 yes the age of Christ....am I supposed to die now? Oh well I did have a great weekend: Friday I had a meeting wth my college buddies to discuss the final presentation on Chillis' between the margaritas and the smoking fajitas we got the job done. After went to meet some friends at the old Chit-Chat to play dominoes and have a drink. Saturday morning spend almost the whole mid day with my Mom buying a "bed in a sack" oh well, many calls to congratz 2 missing in action, you know who you are, and one special message that almost made me cry. It wasnt a happy birthday wish it was more of al the reasons I appreciate your friendship through all this years, many thanks. Saturday night had a date/hangout thingie not much to say but the food was ok :P Sunday treat myself to a great breakfast then to meet my father for brunch which turn out to be dinner 5 hours later...I get really pis when I am hungry...but after all the waiting ny younger brither was able to eat with us so it turns out be a night of open heart family bounding...Spend most of the monday finishing my solo project to my first masters class got an A , thank you very much, and I might have done some frienships in he meanwhile...still have 3 inviations for dinner and friends comming home this weekend. Gifts HELL YEAH! My gifts will be deliver as they come.
Got a phone call from the contractor he is supposed to be working at the moment in my house anyway we have a date in court on monday...
Work..NO COMMENTS

B-week

2006-09-12T06:09:00.000-07:00

I am turning 33 this saturday, just another year hoping to get what I know I deserve...Not much plan, I have like 3 open invitations ...not bad compare to last year. I have been worring of having nothing to worry about...I know I need help. I am in a very good place inside and out. But this sensation of calmness in a little disturbing to be honest. I am getting paranoid waiting for "what will happen?" "when it will happen?". I feel like I need to be in a High note all the time to not think about the ifs...but my mind works in every direction...past, present, future(NO ppl I cant give you the loto numbers) But playing with possibilities is tiresome but fun. love/company/sex/laughter/support/compassion/understanding these are a few of the things I give/request from the person at my side...I have settle from time to time...thanks to my Logical Chip that I have to turn ON everytime. stability/safe/noleash/trust/confiability/tolerance these are the things I have settle for.
Need to feel alive from time to time. want to smile for a little longer.

2006-08-31T06:25:00.000-07:00

Things do to this week:

Annoyed co-workers check
make boss look like a fool check
run office as I see fit check
do garden pospone until further notice
see finale of who want to be a superhero tonight
get migraine check
get piss hmmm....weird....nothing...hmmm

am I evil?

2006-08-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

To watch the beast fall from the top up the mountain...nice
To be the one that push it...great
To be the one that build the mountain form which everything occurs...geniuos
To get the seat the beast left vacant...evil

No morals just the desire to inflict onto others what they have done to you.
The cheer joy of looking into the eyes of despair and defeit.
The sweet extasis of an enymies failure.
The Silence that Victory brings.

Passages from The Book of Storms by Coriolis

Today Coriolis rules the mind...not a bad thing. That means I am enjoying myself...maybe a little too much. If everthing falls into place I will decifer. If not let the riddles spin out of control. NOT ON DRUGS PPL.
Havent finninsh my first class nad already have the assignment for the first class of next course...:P I am loving it. Havent feel tired yet, havent done the garden yet, havent finish Suikode III yet, hevent receive Suikoden II yet...and yet I feel happy and more or less at peace. I have something in my life that gives me peace and rage. Weird, unhealthy, desperate, maybe...but what else a emotinal Agoraphobian like me could survive. Still the one emotion I want the most is not there as much as I want it to...hmmm Well you gice and you take. So far it has been a bumpy ride and I am still there...weirder.

2006-08-25T05:54:00.000-07:00

This has been one of the weirdest week in a long time. Everyone in my circle is HAPPY yep actually smillling and laughing. I think this is the first time that this has happen in a very loooong time. I have a running joke that me and my friends are in a see saw one up another down but it appears we are all upo at the moment...or is it that I am on my way down...hmmm
Been very busy with college stuff still trying to get used to the idea I HAVE to work in groups. Besides that I think I could manange 2 classes but I will try to lissen to Viv and to not get compulsive about it. With the work experience I have at the moment I really enjoy the class dynamic, no competive behavior. We are learning from the proffesor and each other. Is a merge of ideas and concepts without envy or backstabbing. And ppl actually apreciated you if you make an intelligent comment. Why the real life has to be such a cut troat enviroment?

I Go To Extremes
Billy Joel

Call me a joker, call me a fool
Right at this moment I'm totally cool
Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife
I feel like I'm in the prime of my life
Sometimes it feels like I'm going too fast
I don't know how long this feeling will last
Maybe it's only tonight

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It's all or nothing at all
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

Sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I'm shot
Sometimes I don't know how much more I've got
Maybe I'm headed over the hill
Maybe I've set myself up for the kill
Tell me how much do you think you can take
Until the heart in you is starting to break?
Sometimes it feels like it will

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
You can be sure when I'm gone
I won't be out there too long
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

Out of the darkness, into the light
Leaving the scene of the crime
Either I'm wrong or I'm perfectly right every time
Sometimes I lie awake, night after night
Coming apart at the seams
Eager to please, ready to fight
Why do I go to extremes?

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It's all or nothing at all
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
No I don't know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
You can be sure when I'm gone
I won't be out there too long
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

2006-08-21T03:59:00.000-07:00

Finally decided to get something here...as usual I will start ranting and lets hope we get somewhere...
I have feel great lately...guess that the reason I havent been here...I have found time to breath and be myself. I went and started my masters, they only gave me one class hopefully I will be able to get to classes for the next period cause I feel like I ma walking on the park. The policy of this college required to work on groups...WHAT? I will deal with it one class at a time.
My bitch gave birth...saddly the pups came sick so as yesterday none survive, now I am giving therapy to my manipulativer bitch so she can go on woth her life...she is really sad been crying a lot. Hope she doesnt commit suicide.
FINALLY went to Mayaguez to see Miss V house...great view love what she is doing with the place. She will have many little projects but I know she is up to it...if the money arrives lol.
Work..the only constant in my life...my boss sucks and apparently really good cause he still here with the nonjob he is doing. My co-workers well I am begin to feel like an island separeted from everyone. People only come to me when they need something or maybe is that since the incident with MV i have been avoiding too much contact with ppl. I decided to manage myself since my boss doesnt, I am deciding the projects I take and wich I am not capacitaded to to :P
Taking to some friends trying to get to know a few ppl not a social whore but a social creature.

2006-07-31T05:28:00.000-07:00

Hello!!!

On the looong journey to discovery...still like RPGs, love sci-fi movies, series(getting back to Scifi Channel), fantasy novels(trying to finish one before going back to study), dogs, behaving like a dog, playing with dogs...get the idea? talking to ppl that like to talk back, music...I am trying to let a few persons into my circle of friends but I didnt knew how lasy I was at keeping in touch with ppl or maybe is that they bore me to death. The only speed dial of my life is V, Sony, Angel beside that i get sidetrack at calling back.
Managing a relationship and trying to enjoy myself...well is a pain in the neck. I love to be by myself doing nothing...that idea is out of the door when someone is around. I am always right, that is an Universal Truth...why is so hard to accept? :P,NOONE do something for nothing no matter how much they said they do, I have to deal with it. Fireworks only come on the 4th of july and new years eve everything else is just another monday.

Six o'clock already I was just in the middle of a dream
I was kissin' Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream
But I can't be late 'cause then I guess I just won't get paid
These are the days when you wish your bed was already made.

It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my Funday (oh-woe)
My I don't have to runday (oh)
It's just another manic Monday.

Have to catch an early train, got to be to work by nine
And if I had an air-o-plane, I still couldn't make it on time
'Cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I'm gonna wear
Blame it on the train but the boss is already there.

It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my Funday (oh-woe)
My I don't have to runday (oh)
It's just another manic Monday.

All of my nights why did my lover have to pick last night to get down (last night, last night)
Doesn't it matter that I have to feed the both of us, employment's down
He tells me in his bedroom voice:
"C'mon honey, let's go make some noise" (ba ba ba baaaa)
Time, it goes so fast (when you're having fun).

It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my Funday (oh-woe)
My I don't have to runday (woe)
It's just another manic Monday (oh-woe)
I wish it was Sunday (oh-woe)
'Cause that's my funday (oh)
It's just another manic Monday.

THE BANGLES - "Manic Monday"

....from out of space

2006-07-13T07:09:00.000-07:00

Dont want to sound angry or piss all the time but that is my nature. Even when ppl are nice to me I have this dont approach me face that many dont get. Actually I think I only laught, not smile but LOL with only one person, wish she was closer but that is life. For those keeping score I bought a car thank you very much...if I have it with me for a month I will post a pic ok! Still dealing with crap at work(reason why I am piss almost all the time), there is someone in my life(dont want to go into details at the moment) the contractor is missing in action(para vairar) and I am trying to keep in touch with my "friends" more often...more on that later(maybe)

Viv, Sony, Wil, Angel these are the only numbers I know by heart
Angel2, Mamushka, Esther these are the one I am trying to know
Sara, George, Daniel these I need to make an effort
J.R., J.J. those I want to forget

Have:
Best Friend
House
Job
Car

Wants:
Disney vac.
Egypt Trip
Go Broadway hooping
Someone to share it with

Trade:
Job
House

Need:
Time/Space to enjoy life

**Just a brainstorm hopefully NOONE will think I will kill myself***

Live To Tell The Tale
Nightwish

A single grain can tip the scale
Amidst the burden the scale will prevail
Showing what`s worth being here
Storyteller by a hearth of stone
A white little creature purring me
My childhood kingdom gone in time
The islands filling my mind with blue
The one in speacial, heaven's court

All the joy unforgiven by this task

An errant soul, homeless and foul
All gone but the will to
Live to tell the tale

The days are filled with anxiety
Frustration, one right note a day
Where to find a perfect tune
Just do the work and take a step back

All the joy unforgiven by this task

An errant soul, homeless and foul
All gone but the will to
Live to tell the tale

Dark chambers of my mind
Locked around the neck of my love
None of you understand
And it doesn't matter
To a broken marionette like me

An errant soul, homeless and foul

An errant soul, homeless and foul
All gone but the will to
Live to tell the tale

Oh how I hate mykind
Have it all
Yet wish to die

Not mykind but the kind as you are
Saints in Cain's mask
I love you
I just did

long day ahead

2006-06-29T03:34:00.000-07:00

I have been in the office since 5am I am suppose to be at a tainning from 8:30am tp 5:00pm WTF!!!! oh well. I cant count on No one in my department to do the things that need to be done but I can always count on:
The Airhead to do everyhting with her feet and be stupid
The Parrot to be blabing all over the place
The ghost that do a lot of noise but is ethereal
The monkey...well to act like one

If it wasnt for the fact that I actually act as my own boss I will run...let me check my loto ticket...someone is a millionaire but not me...ok back to the issue The benefict I get out of my possitions are the only thing keeping me here. If I could put a dollar amount to be able to do as I almost please, to have the recognition of ppl outside the dpt and to be able to be bitchy and ppl have to deal with it I might be able to go to an interview with an idea of how much $$$$ I want. My tolerance levels are non existent and working with children is not helping. So From now on I will treat ppl as they deserve...

NO CAR AT THE MOMENT...dont want to talk/write about it.

need to find an outlet for my anger because I think is getting out of hand...

new day

2006-06-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying that I am not taking any pills or other control drugs...for some reason the black cloud over my head had left and I see a bright day in front of me. I guess is true once you hit the bottom the only way is up. I do have many things I want to do with my life, and to do some I have to put on hold others, that is the difference. Is not that I am discarting, negleting or dismissing is just putting on hold. I have a life to finish as many degrees as I please and if I dont then I will go with the ones I have. So is not a matter of being pull in difrent direction is a matter of having MANY goals in life. Too many...so what, is better than going walking like an undead. I forgot that I used to have many goals and once I reached one there was another, apparently I didnt though about it after college and getting a house. I NEED a purpuse to wake up in the morning I want to be able to look forward to next week or next year. I am going to plan, I am going to write a new story with another set of twist and turns.

2006-06-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

How Will I Laugh Tomorrow
ST

Here I sit and watch my world come crumbling down
I cry for help but no one's around
Silently screaming I bang my head against the wall
It seems like no one cares at all
Always an emotion, but how can I explain
How can I explain
Kind of like the scent of a rose
With words I can't explain
The same with my pain
Caught up in emotion-Goes over my head
Goes over my head
Sometimes I got to think to myself is this life or death
Am I living or am I dead
The clock keeps ticking but nothing else seems to change
Problems never solved, just rearranged
And when I think about all the times that I've had
So few good-So many bad
I search for personality and I look for things I can not see

Love and peace flash through my mind
Pain and hate are all I find
Find no hope in nothing new
Never had a dream come true
Lies and hate and agony
Thru my eyes that's all I see
If I'm gonna cry
Will you wipe away my tears?
If I'm gonna die
Lord please take away my fear
Before I drown in sorrow
Last thing that I'll say
How will I laugh tommorow
If I can't even smile today
Today today--when I can't even smile today
Today today--when I can't even smile today
How will I laugh tommorow--when I can't even smile today
How will I laugh tommorow--when I can't even smile today

Martes 13

2006-06-13T13:52:00.000-07:00

First we have 060606 day now martes 13, I know for you northamerican is suppose to be Friday 13th but here in Latino land we beleive martes 13 is the bad luck day...why did I get out of my house? with the luck I am having lately I shouldn't take any risk. Anyway I did the summer cleaning of the House now if the weather permits I will do the garden this weekend. Finish FF X-2 not too trill about it the game kind of sucks compare to FF X. Maybe is me but the story lines are getting kind of borring. Will try to read more until August since I am meeting people that actually know something about literature. The only person I can talk about some intelectual stuff is Miss V or maybe she is the only person that gets me. Or maybe I am the only person that gets her who knows.

Don't Stop Being Crazy
Helloween

You're the one I would pick out in a million
You're the one I would wish for as the friend of my life (life)
If the whole world decided for a colour
Would pixels be any different in you (you)

Brave and smart against the rules
You smile upon the fools
I'll follow where you go
I want you to know

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy

When you walk you walk higher than the others
When you talk you talk merciless the bothering truth (truth)
Everyone seems remote-controlled nowadays
Only you have a frequency far beyond their ways (ways)

Still that strong you walk alone
Don't wonder where they're gone
I'll follow where you go
I want you to know

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy (crazy)

Still that strong you walk alone
Don't wonder where they're gone
I'll follow where you go
I want you to know

Don't stop being crazy
Wherever you go
Don't stop being crazy
It's a lie
It's a lie
It's a lie we could not learn to fly
Oh no
Don't stop being crazy

06-06-06

2006-06-06T10:21:00.000-07:00

Just in case this really was the D day I decided to go away again. I had a blast sleeping, eatting, bathing in the beach(I said BEACH). No shitting actually, for some reason my touchie likes it at home...err anyway. It was nice to get away from everything in a place were no one knows who you are. I got myself a nice tan also. Hopefully the felling will last a while. If not well I have plans of making more ME time along the year. I am really considering doing a masters/Ph in psycology. I can put all my mind tricks to a good use. I though about the lawyer thingie but do I really want to start building a firm at 35? The thing is I might have to wait until next year to do that so I can have a few payments ahead on the house. Also if things turn out my way I might go to Egypt or India ....OK Egypt but I want to go for at least 3 weeks so I can take my time to enjoy everything...just if.

2006-06-01T05:37:00.000-07:00

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There's nothing left inside of here

And maybe you can cry all night
But that'll never change the way I feel
The snow is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn't make me leave here

I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long
I'm crying icicles instead of tears

And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you're looking for a ruby
In a mountain of rocks
But there ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding
At the bottom of a Cracker Jack box

I can't lie
I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not
No matter how I try
I'll never be able to give you something
Something that I just haven't got

There's only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many years ago
And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back, ooh I know
I remember how she left me on a stormy night
She kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her
Not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away

And she kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
She kep on telling me
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere

MEAT LOAF - "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad"
Jim Steinman-Writter

Some things I knew, some I didnt knew and somne things I just didnt wanted to know. I an letting the kender out more often it has been a while since he came so close to the surface. I havent realize how much I missed him.