-.-

It has take me a while to decided if I want to continue wrtting adn after some time off I think I might. Still not sure where I want to take this blabbing but at least I can get some stuff out of the system.
How can I ask of you to listen when you are dealing with such a responsability. My meaninless complains are shadow by your unafair circunstances. It was fun to played ball with each other so called "issues" but how can I be of any help when my hands are tie. I feel helpless and that bothers me so much. Is frustaiting to not be able to be the bra I am supposed to be. My only consolation is that you have the mage by your side. A guy that everyday gains more and more my admiration and respect. On the other hand you had made me realize how pity I can be at times. You have teach me so much over the years and even though ppl will never understand why or how we still friends I just now we are. Saying goodbye to have you a trip away had been harder that you can imagine. Stopping myself from calling just to chat when I am bored a nightmare. Yesterday I said goodbye to my brother becasue he is joining the armed forces and it did not move me as much as saying goodbye to my friend, her hobby and their baby. A big part of me was going away and I could not stop it. Bt I knew it had to be done.
At the same time my other sister was solid on her marriage and her new life. For which I was happier than a dog with two tails. But that meant sacrifying time spend togheter and leaving her protetion to someone else. Understanding that she no longer need it protecting took a lot out of me but I was confident in her choice and he has been a great man to her.
Having too much time to myself left me no where to go but inside. Not to hide but to reconnect and redefine. I stared a long and hard journey which had taking me everywhere from hell to heaven. Which I might write later on.