Letter to Willie

When I first meet you I was glad I had someone to talk about Reality TV, and some obscure TV shows no one seems to know in the Island. We almost never agreed on many things but the discussions were always interesting. With you I played my first Wii game. Man how many time did I bet you that day? Beginners’ luck you said. Thanks to you I was able to catch up with some series you been the DVD whore had a great collection of them. You were one of the few people I allow myself to visit and it was always a joy to chat and spend time with you, the Wii, AI, Heroes….As I usually do with my friends I didn’t call in a while. Then I saw the promotion on the finalist for AI. I called and left you a message on your cel. Next week I called and left another message saying I was sorry for been so distant. The night of the AI finale I called sure you had to be in front of a TV…the machine didn’t allow any new message because it was full. A few days later I called again and there was a message saying the cel was not accepting more calls. The next day surfing some friends profiles in Facebook I saw your picture so I immediately went to your profile. The posts I read told me what I need it to know. You had pass away a month ago. I am sorry I could not said goodbye, or at least be a real friend and be there when you need it. Now you are with God teaching him how to use those wireless controls and telling him why he should send Simon to hell. I will not miss you because the memories of our time together are happy ones. And I know you lived life to the fullest. Rest with angels my friend

Is the year over??

Crashes and power surge at work had made for two interesting weeks. Dealing with the fact that some equipment can not be reconected to the system after is shutdown...priceless. Managing the fact that I do not have enough PCs to replace the ones that are out of date...frustrating. Is like trying to feed Africa with a truck full of can beans and no can opener around. I had been working my you know what for 15 days, and I have to give credit to my Staff great support and no complains...even I am surprise by the way they are behind every juggernaut decision I am making. So I might have to get another lunch just for my 5 stars. I am still consume by the decision of leaving this place but if nothing here is going to change I have to. I do not know for how long I will deal with this but I am trying. Although I already decided that if I have to lose the house so be it. That house has been nothing but issues to beggining with. Maybe like my first car that is not the house to make me happy. But I need it the experience so I could find the real one.
Getting out of a deep depression with out professional help or medicine has been quite a journey. I am not sure if I am completly out of it but I think I am seeing clearer skies. I am only greatfull for the things I do not have at home: guns, anti-depresants, insectiside, sleeping pills, gas stove, HIV whore...damn I did though about it! The point is some nights are better than others. Some walking moments are sharper than others. Some mirages are easier to detect than others. Hopefully I wont erase this...
Summer is here and my only thoughts are that I can get out of bed one hour later and no traffic...SOme plans for September and maybe vacations on November if WotLK comes out. My only source of entertainment is WoW for now and even that is getting old fast. Still everything block at office so I am trying to go into some pages at home...and doing a lousy job at it.

Netherland

In what seems to be an eternal struggle I am still trying to sort the thoughs in my head. Although some things had been solve for me and it has been for the better. I might be able to pull another year if I continue like this. I moght find some glimmer of purpose to keep on going a little while. Or in the blink of an eye I can take a U turn. Life has a way of teaching us what we need to know. Even if the lesson is a hard and cruel one. Each day is an opportunity to discover a new reality, a new lie, a new begginng. Is the journey that matters to the Wanderer, so for now I will try to do just that, enjoy the view. Like a walk thru the woods if I do not like one scene I can look the other way to see something else. I had payed to much attention to insignifant details and missing the Big Picture. Do not know how far I will get on this road or for how long but I need to believe there is a reason, I need to know there is a destination, I need to find if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.